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MemoryFinder — Two Paths
Published: 2004-02-22 06:31:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 1364; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 454
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Description
Everyone always says that they have two paths from which to choose-Well, what happens when you have more than two paths coming at you?
Where can you go? Can you turn to anyone?
Where can you hide? Are you afraid of everyone?
Do you wait for that special someone, always holding out?
Hoping that the longer you wait for them will mean the sooner they'll come around-
Do you go for an instant gratification on the primal level?
A random meeting, a rendezvous, just to feel a little bit better-
Do you to to school for some sort of higher learning?
Something that has become just a bit of everyone else's yearning-
Do you live on your own with all the expenses?
And live without all the degrading pretenses-
Do you dive into the drugs that will make it all feel good?
Or live without them- you know you could-
Do you continue at a job that you simply just love?
With no benefits, no security, and nothing's ever enough-
Do you push away all the people who constantly bring you down?
What happens when you've pushed away everyone around?
Do you keep on fighting when you seem to have nothing left to fight for?
There's no way that you can give in- even though you've lost the war-
Some people complain to me about their two paths
I scoff and say, "My God, I wish that's all I had".
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Comments: 108
ha wow thats an old piece I'd pretty much forgotten about... thanks so much for the reminder and the comment. I appreciate it so greatly.
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No problem. And youre very much welcome. I love the piece.
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Normally, questions left unanswered are
a very bad choice in poetry. You're meant
to paint a picture, but here are empty spots.
Does each word serve a purpose? If not, this
would qualify as prose. Also, this could be considered
miscategorized. It's primarily list poetry. Also, listiness
normally comes off bad. It gets, well, boring after a while,
and that's not what you want. You don't want them to know
what's coming next, you want them to never know. Never.
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Has the world become so deepcoated and crispy fried with teenage angst that we feel too sorry for ourselves to accept some real fucking criticism for once?
I don't want a page of rhetorical questions.
That's not a poem. Those are rhetorical questions.
I don't want to know why your life is worse than mine.
That is not poetry.
People who react like you have to comments such as ~inebriate 's are killing the family of real writers that is struggling to pull itself out of the rubble that you and your peers have created for us.
You're not accustomed to real criticism because other so-called writers want you to think that you're good...
The only reason they make that effort is so that you won't kill yourself or someone else, it's a fucking pity party for crying out loud.
Work on learning some meter, maybe some metaphor, check out imagery and line structure and possibly even a FUCKING POINT THAT SOMEONE CARES ABOUT.
Then get back to me.
Have a nice day.
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I love it, Its great. It brings a lot of thinking to my head. It truely is a great piece. Keep up the good work. +fav
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Your poem is one of the best I ever read. Just simply ignore the "people" who give you al this negative feedback They just "have to be different" and have " different views on things"They don't seem to understand that Poetry is art and it can be expressed in anyway. This is not a journal entry. No. This a masterpece that should be recognized. I understand the people who critque, but when someone like :iconsomedrunkblacksppon: wants be such a ... :censosred: then they are just looking for a fight. Don't let them get to you. You're a great poet. One of the best I've ever seen so far. Keep up the go work and continue to impress the people that care.
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Hey thanks so much--- you're SO incredibly awesome!!!
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i think this piece lacks in originality and questions in poetry always bother me. most of the time, they shouldn't mix.
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I disagree with those who said this would work in the prose section. this is indeed not poetry (even though you try to rhyme, a childish rhyme at that), but it is not prose either, because words that are not poetry do not automatically become prose, people " throws stones at anyone who believes that".
for me, this reads as a note sheet with a scheme for something, well, artistic (art isn't all about emotion, as many people think, it also very much about craft). those are scribbles.
my advice would be to try and incorporate your ideas into poetry/prose whatever suits the message. and please remember, always " show, not tell" in order to impress your readers.
and listen to the critics (listen does not translate to obey), we mean well even though we're mean. ahem, not all of us.
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Thank you... at least you weren't rude... and I greatly appreciate the constructive criticism.
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you're welcome and I hope it will be useful for you. I'm usually a nice girl 
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i second the people that know what they are talking about. namely ~inebriate ~ wildoats and *somedrunkblackspoon . this is pure crap.
and learn to take some criticism. you act like you have sand in your vagina.
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I'd have to agree with sibyll on this one. Why don't you just toss this poem out and start over?
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No one said you have to like it. But there's criticism that's respectful, and then there's just a matter of being blantantly rude.
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stop being a groupie for a crappy poet. it detracts from your internet intelligence level.
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Haha sibyll I love you hahaha "you have sand in your vagina." It sounds like something I would say.
And no, i'm not adding to anyone else's insults or comments even though it's the same thought as the others, these are my own opinions. That poem was just...not a poem.....errors are often, it dosn't flow...you could have done a lot better. Personaly, I think you should take this topic, deleate this piece and try to write a better (actual poem) one.
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what can i say. i am an evil bitch that watches too much south park and reads too much dorothy parker.
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::nods:: South Park rocks my non-existant cock.
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now was that language really needed? i can respect your point of view but when you jump straight to saying inappropriate things it is very difficult to respect you.
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what language? vagina or crap? don't you go getting sand in your genital regions, too.
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that's what i mean, that language is inappropriate and not needed.
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i never said it was bad, i said it was inappropriate
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this is, in all honesty, one of the worst poems i have ever read. no i will not be constructive, you are too far gone. you will only tell me that your poem is your emotion and your emotion rules the world and it can't be critiqued or something. yeah, i know your type.
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Great job, it has a feel about it. I can see this being spoken aloud. Emotion and what. It flows perfectly. Good Job, it has its message, and one that I think we can all relate to on some level.
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THank you so much... right then.. that was exactly what I needed to hear
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I'm so happy I said it then! It was definitely deserved too. 
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This would better suit prose: reflective or thoughts.
As a poem, the rhyming couplets with poor metre are weak and innefectual.
The message is good.
As reflective prose, it would work extremely well.
However, as a poem, it is bland, dull, and unimaginative.
Benedictions.
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This would better suit prose: reflective or thoughts.
As a poem, the rhyming couplets with poor metre are weak and innefectual.
The message is good.
As reflective prose, it would work extremely well.
However, as a poem, it is bland, dull, and unimaginative.
Benedictions.
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Methinks prose>thoughts has been removed due to people just posting journal entries as submissions.
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It has?
I should try to keep up with these sorts of details.
Thanks for letting me know!
Benedictions!
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Wow, that's amazing. You've captured the essense of it so awesomely well.
Great wording and phrasiology, hats of to you!
May your answers never elude you, and may your mind ever carry you to new questions.
Its nice to find other writers around here - I'm encouraged.
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Thanks so much- your comments are wonderful and well appreciated!
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You're very welcome - its well deserved.
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Predictability meets unoriginality. Listen to ~inebriate , he's a wise, wise man.
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strong message here, i like the style. these parts, i think, are the best:
Do you push away all the people who constantly bring you down?
What happens when you've pushed away everyone around?
Do you keep on fighting when you seem to have nothing left to fight for?
There's no way that you can give in- even though you've lost the war-
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comments!! 
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I love this work. And it is true-- there are numerous paths to take through every moment of your life! Some may not be immediately decisive of what happens to you, but surely in the long-run it can. Such as eggs or cereal for breakfast.
But anyway, I love your poem. ^^ keep writing!!
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I really like it! and I completely agree... I am usually left with 5-7 paths with each decision I make
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love the poem. youre a great writer. definately a favorite
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"Do you push away all the people who constantly bring you down?
What happens when you've pushed away everyone around?"
i LOVE that! Its awesome, great job!
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That was so good. I can totally understand why this is on front page favorites. Excellent work.
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This is not poetry.
Poems do not consist of Q&A sessions.
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