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mouseluva — How to Troll by-nd
Published: 2010-09-14 05:28:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 2260; Favourites: 32; Downloads: 13
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Description How to Troll: A Pocket Guide to Ruling the Internet

Trolling the internet can be a demanding task. It takes skill and a lot of hard work to bully people from the safety of your computer, and this guide was designed to make your life easier.

The golden rule of trolling is to remember that you are awesome; you are always right, and everyone else is always inferior. That is precisely why you should be the one to dominate the internet, instead of those pesky moderators.

The first step of asserting this dominance is to pick a victim. This is perhaps the easiest part of the process; if you modify your technique accordingly, nearly anyone can be trolled. However, the easiest way is to troll those who are polite, kind to others and who take criticism well.

Once you have selected your victim(s), there are a few basic techniques that you should remember:
· Even if you are wrong to begin an argument, as soon as the other person responds to you, they are in the wrong. So remember to be persistent and try different techniques in getting a rise out of them. As soon as they are in the wrong, your initial wrongdoing will be cancelled out and you will have even more justification in your bullying of them.
· However, don't waste time on people not responding to your trolling. The more time you waste on a mature deviant who is ignoring you, the less time you have to spend trolling someone who will respond appropriately.
· neva use corect gramma or punctuashun. teh person wil fear u even mor if u dnt no how 2 spel
· If you do use correct grammar, be sure to misuse any really big words that you know. The person will fear and respect you even if you know the word "vindictive", regardless of whether you know it means "vengeful" or not.

Now that you know the basic techniques, you need to know the methods of delivering them. You should choose from these delivery methods carefully, depending on what the deviant's status is. The methods are as follows:
· Notes: Every deviant feels special when they see that little note icon. This method is especially effective purely because of the fact that it's a double-whammy. Not only are you crushing them with your amazing verbal skills and irrefutable evidence, but also you are crushing that happiness and excitement of receiving a note! Notes are also a safe and subtle method; most deviants will be so awed by your awesomeness that they will be too fearful to get help from their friends or watchers.
· Page comments: Most deviants only visit people's pages to thank them for the fave. They do not bother to look at the artist's own comment saying in bold "YOU'RE WELCOME". Leaving your awesomeness here will not only insult them, but you may possibly gain support from fellow trolls visiting that page for the same reason.
· Artwork comments: This is another double-whammy method; you can not only insult them, but you can insult something specific that they have done. This method is also good because your comments will gain more exposure and thus more people will be able to see how cool, witty and intelligent you are. On top of this, if you leave a comment that looks like a critique, no one can deny that you are cool, witty and intelligent, because you are offering constructive criticism to help the deviant improve everything about themselves.
· Plagiarising: This is a highly effective method that can be used in conjunction with any of the other methods for an extra boost. It is quite simple to execute; you simply steal their work and pass it off as your own. You can not only take credit, but many artists insult their work in the artist's comments box; why should you be any different? This is a sure way to make them feel inferior like they deserve.

The final part of trolling is the getaway plan. Not all people on deviantART will realise how awesome you are, and some may try to stop you reaching your goal of internet domination. These deviants may politely enquire of your motives and ask for a resolution, or report you to a moderator. If the deviants are polite, remember: MANNERS ARE FOR WIMPS. You should immediately cut these deviants down with your prowess of the basic techniques, either employed directly at them or fired at the loved deviant whom they are defending. You are justified in every way in this cyber bullying, so you should not have to explain your motives. However, if a moderator gets involved, the best method is to abandon your account and create a new one doing the same things. If you delete your account, they can never prove anything and you can continue your trolling habits unhindered.

Now, get out there and troll!! Always remember: U R ALWAIS RITE!!!!!11111!!!
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Comments: 63

mouseluva In reply to ??? [2010-09-21 03:59:06 +0000 UTC]

I am only a troll for the Guild of Deviousness trolling event. I made this to poke fun at the real trolls out there and also so I would have some idea how to troll as I have never done it before.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CherryTreeInTheRain [2010-09-20 03:15:48 +0000 UTC]

Don tel meh how to troll il do it howi wana so wateva

(Actually, I'm actually using this to help me troll. Since I've never done it before and I'm failing. But I'm following the part about horrible spelling lol.)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mouseluva In reply to CherryTreeInTheRain [2010-09-20 03:59:58 +0000 UTC]

(That's why I wrote it. Don't have much idea how to troll either)

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SiverCat In reply to ??? [2010-09-20 00:15:42 +0000 UTC]

Y wud u put something like dis up? R u trying to encourage trolling? Stop trying to make the internet a bad place! This is a terrible evil peace. Get off dA NOW!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Netufi In reply to SiverCat [2010-12-31 04:20:45 +0000 UTC]

Well, it does help in the classification of trolls. I despise trolls, but sometimes I'd read troll articles (Encyclopaedia Dramatica mostly). It's a good way of getting into the minds of trolls, if you will.

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SiverCat In reply to Netufi [2010-12-31 05:54:23 +0000 UTC]

I agree whole heartedly! My comment was for a trolling event for raising troll awareness at the and was quite painful to write I might add lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Netufi In reply to SiverCat [2010-12-31 06:34:48 +0000 UTC]

lol I can imagine. Like, if I'm joking around with my friends, then I can write/talk like that no problem. But if I'm being serious, then I think it'd be painful to write with such bad internet grammar.

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MidoriKoneko [2010-09-19 10:18:15 +0000 UTC]

1st of all, this is superfluous. There aint no guide thats gonna help out n e body.

(That's hard to do... ^^ It's Monday here. Happy Troll Day! )

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Llawlietz [2010-09-15 06:49:09 +0000 UTC]

Haha, nice one.
Just one small thing - "You can not only take credit, but many artists insult their work in the artist's comments box; why should you be any difference?"
Should that be 'different' or am I just thick?
Anyway, this gave me a chuckle

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mouseluva In reply to Llawlietz [2010-09-15 09:54:55 +0000 UTC]

Oh yes, it should be 'different'. I think I noticed that myself but forgot to go back and change it. Thanks for pointing it out :3

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NymeeKat In reply to ??? [2010-09-14 14:08:41 +0000 UTC]

"neva use corect gramma or punctuashun. teh person wil fear u even mor if u dnt no how 2 spel"

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Lovin it! Good Job sweety!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mouseluva In reply to NymeeKat [2010-09-14 20:43:03 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, thanks (:

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BellaNellaMorte In reply to ??? [2010-09-14 06:13:48 +0000 UTC]

haha loved the this "Always remember: U R ALWAIS RITE!!!!!11111!!!"

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mouseluva In reply to BellaNellaMorte [2010-09-14 06:22:00 +0000 UTC]

Heh, thanks (: It was fun to write

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BellaNellaMorte In reply to mouseluva [2010-09-15 03:20:41 +0000 UTC]

welcome i bet!

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