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Some say that I'm a daredevil, always taunting death. As a professional stuntman both for stadium shows and movies I entertain the masses, though I'll never have the fame that Evel Knievel or his like had in their heyday. There's just not as much interest in seeing dangerous stunts in person when they're plastered on the silver screen, where audiences know that everything is fake. The people I work with though, they say I've got a death wish. I wish it were as simple as that, just take a spill, misalign one of the wheels before a jump off a ramp, make the car flip over and over after a landing. No, it's not that easy. I'm not taunting Death, she's taunting me.

Every time I come out of a stunt unscathed, when my adrenaline is still coursing through my veins, I catch a glimpse of her. No, not Death, Lisa. She was my high school sweetheart and the only women I think I've ever truly loved. Certainly, the others since then have been a comfort, warmth on cold nights, but none have had her smile, her laugh, her worry every time we raced down the switchback road from my house to hers, her screams of fear and joy all in one. The wheels always gripped the road, we always made it safe, so no, I didn't lose her to a crash, despite the career I've taken years later. No, it was a different kind of accident. One that came with a plus on a pregnancy kit.

We'd been together for nine months after finally giving in to the growing gravity between us, the chemistry creating an entirely new life on its way. We had an ultrasound done and found out it would be a she, Emily. We were naming her after Lisa's paternal grandmother who had passed away two years back. Despite the woman's dementia and prejudice, she still made some of the best meatloaf and apple pies that I'd had or even have had since. Lisa lost her to cancer, and I lost Lisa and Emily to the same. Different place, different time, but the result was still the same. Complications with the treatments killed our child before she had even had her first breath, and Lisa faded away soon after, fighting to come back to me but finally succumbing.

I had become a stuntman for a few films before she died and ever since I've been chasing after Her. All three of them, Emily, Lisa and Death. Lisa watched over me as I took the latest jump, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her smiling, almost kissing me as I landed, this time with my seatbelt improperly fastened. As my head hit the dash hard her smile faded and my own started, feeling a growing daze settling over me. I slipped away.

I woke up in a hospital, looking around, wearing a gown and clenched my jaw, trying to keep from screaming at the injustice of it all. I wanted to be taken, to finally leave and see them again. Yet here I was, denied again. I tried to reach for the saline drip to pull it out when a voice came from out of nowhere,
"Stop it you damn fool." I looked around and saw no one at first, but as the hairs on the back of my neck rose so too did my adrenaline, confirming the impossibility of what I had heard. There, standing in hospital gowns in front of me was another ghost. Six in fact, all of them nearly identical except the attire they were stuck in. What's more, they were all angry at me, and they were all me.

"I'm hallucinating." I said, rubbing my eyes.
"'Fraid not. We're here. And yes, all of us are you."
"But, how... Why?" I tried to wrap my mind around what I was seeing, each ghost seeming even more agitated than the freshest, the years spread between them obvious.
"See... All those times that you've had narrow brushes with death and been denied? Yeah, we're what happens. We die, and you live on. Frankly, its pissing all of us off. Especially since we can't even see Lisa anymore when we're no longer pushing our meatsuit around." I just stare at my ghosts for a bit in shocked silence until the oldest, barely more than a child, snarls and snaps his teeth, claws racking along the hospital room's tiles but doing no damage to them. "Oh, yeah, also him. Really fucking great of you to saddle us with him. All the damn times you die for even a moment filled with anger, he gobbles up that ghost and becomes even hungrier despite it. Freaks the crap out of the new ones especially."
     "That's me too? Fuck, I thought that was a demon or something..." I say, staring at my most rage-filled ghost. It flicks me off and starts sharpening its claws against the ground despite no marks appearing on it.
     "You should be so lucky. In fact-Hey! Somebody grab him!" My eyes go wide as my rage-filled ghost suddenly leaps out toward me, tearing a ghost in the way in half before slashing out at me. I pull back instinctively, still getting cut and surprisingly bleeding. All my other ghosts start trying to stop it as it reaches forward and starts squeezing my neck. I keep trying to pound it, striking only air before finally it is pulled away. As I start snarling back at it I see it starting to grow larger and gulp, almost crawling away from its increasing mass, having nowhere to go. "You've got to calm down! This bastard is feeding off of your anger at it, at yourself!" I try to relax, to center myself, finding it impossible with it snapping and clawing to get near me. Finally with no other recourse, I do the only thing I can do, pushing out all my memories of Lisa, of our life and growing up together. Our first date, our first kiss, our first night of making love, our first apartment together. The anticipation of parenthood. Even the time in the hospital. I let it all go, as the monster of my rage howls and sinks its claws in, pulling me out of my body.

     I keep pushing, yelling at it, sobbing and crying as I punch and kick it, tearing at its flesh and ripping it to the core, pulling my corrupted selves out the monster. Finally the monstrous form explodes into mist, leaving behind only six ghosts and the others who had tried to restrain it. Each of the rescued is confused and desperate, but not angered. I sigh, looking back to my body, seeing it slowly growing colder and a voice behind me clears its throat. I turn to see a woman wearing hooded robes who is shaking her head.
     "I'm sorry you died, but it is not yet your time to leave." I blinked, baffled and about to object, given everything I've gone through, but I look back to my body, nodding slowly as I see nurses bringing me back to life, but I'm not there anymore. I'm just a reflection, an echo, a ghost. I shudder as I imagine myself stuck like my other selves have been and wait patiently and watch. The nurses are asking me questions and I seem to be doing well except a few that should have been completely easy. I, or rather the me now inhabiting my body alone, seems to have finally done what I couldn't do until death. She waits and watches with me as I see myself struggling to piece back together my memories, having large gaps in place. I've finally let go, I realize, not just in fighting the monstrous ghosts of me, but in actuality. The woman with hooded robes smiles and starts gesturing my other ghostly selves off into a doorway opened up in the sky, a bright light preventing anything inside from being seen.
     "Where are we going?" I ask, unable to hide my worry and curiosity. The woman just smiles, gesturing onward and I obey, walking into the light.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Some say that I'm a daredevil, always taunting death. As a professional stuntman both for stadium shows and movies I entertain the masses, though I'll never have the fame that Evel Knievel or his like had in their heyday. There's just not as much interest in seeing dangerous stunts in person when they're plastered on the silver screen, where audiences know that everything is fake. The people I work with though, they say I've got a death wish. I wish it were as simple as that, just take a spill, misalign one of the wheels before a jump off a ramp, make the car flip over and over after a landing. No, it's not that easy. I'm not taunting Death, she's taunting me.

Every time I come out of a stunt unscathed, when my adrenaline is still coursing through my veins, I catch a glimpse of her. No, not Death, Lisa. She was my high school sweetheart and the only women I think I've ever truly loved. Certainly, the others since then have been a comfort, warmth on cold nights, but none have had her smile, her laugh, her worry every time we raced down the switchback road from my house to hers, her screams of fear and joy all in one. The wheels always gripped the road, we always made it safe, so no, I didn't lose her to a crash, despite the career I've taken years later. No, it was a different kind of accident. One that came with a plus on a pregnancy kit.

We'd been together for nine months after finally giving in to the growing gravity between us, the chemistry creating an entirely new life on its way. We had an ultrasound done and found out it would be a she, Emily. We were naming her after Lisa's paternal grandmother who had passed away two years back. Despite the woman's dementia and prejudice, she still made some of the best meatloaf and apple pies that I'd had or even have had since. Lisa lost her to cancer, and I lost Lisa and Emily to the same. Different place, different time, but the result was still the same. Complications with the treatments killed our child before she had even had her first breath, and Lisa faded away soon after, fighting to come back to me but finally succumbing.

I had become a stuntman for a few films before she died and ever since I've been chasing after Her. All three of them, Emily, Lisa and Death. Lisa watched over me as I took the latest jump, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her smiling, almost kissing me as I landed, this time with my seatbelt improperly fastened. As my head hit the dash hard her smile faded and my own started, feeling a growing daze settling over me. I slipped away.

I woke up in a hospital, looking around, wearing a gown and clenched my jaw, trying to keep from screaming at the injustice of it all. I wanted to be taken, to finally leave and see them again. Yet here I was, denied again. I tried to reach for the saline drip to pull it out when a voice came from out of nowhere,
"Stop it you damn fool." I looked around and saw no one at first, but as the hairs on the back of my neck rose so too did my adrenaline, confirming the impossibility of what I had heard. There, standing in hospital gowns in front of me was another ghost. Six in fact, all of them nearly identical except the attire they were stuck in. What's more, they were all angry at me, and they were all me.

"I'm hallucinating." I said, rubbing my eyes.
"'Fraid not. We're here. And yes, all of us are you."
"But, how... Why?" I tried to wrap my mind around what I was seeing, each ghost seeming even more agitated than the freshest, the years spread between them obvious.
"See... All those times that you've had narrow brushes with death and been denied? Yeah, we're what happens. We die, and you live on. Frankly, its pissing all of us off. Especially since we can't even see Lisa anymore when we're no longer pushing our meatsuit around." I just stare at my ghosts for a bit in shocked silence until the oldest, barely more than a child, snarls and snaps his teeth, claws racking along the hospital room's tiles but doing no damage to them. "Oh, yeah, also him. Really fucking great of you to saddle us with him. All the damn times you die for even a moment filled with anger, he gobbles up that ghost and becomes even hungrier despite it. Freaks the crap out of the new ones especially."
     "That's me too? Fuck, I thought that was a demon or something..." I say, staring at my most rage-filled ghost. It flicks me off and starts sharpening its claws against the ground despite no marks appearing on it.
     "You should be so lucky. In fact-Hey! Somebody grab him!" My eyes go wide as my rage-filled ghost suddenly leaps out toward me, tearing a ghost in the way in half before slashing out at me. I pull back instinctively, still getting cut and surprisingly bleeding. All my other ghosts start trying to stop it as it reaches forward and starts squeezing my neck. I keep trying to pound it, striking only air before finally it is pulled away. As I start snarling back at it I see it starting to grow larger and gulp, almost crawling away from its increasing mass, having nowhere to go. "You've got to calm down! This bastard is feeding off of your anger at it, at yourself!" I try to relax, to center myself, finding it impossible with it snapping and clawing to get near me. Finally with no other recourse, I do the only thing I can do, pushing out all my memories of Lisa, of our life and growing up together. Our first date, our first kiss, our first night of making love, our first apartment together. The anticipation of parenthood. Even the time in the hospital. I let it all go, as the monster of my rage howls and sinks its claws in, pulling me out of my body.

     I keep pushing, yelling at it, sobbing and crying as I punch and kick it, tearing at its flesh and ripping it to the core, pulling my corrupted selves out the monster. Finally the monstrous form explodes into mist, leaving behind only six ghosts and the others who had tried to restrain it. Each of the rescued is confused and desperate, but not angered. I sigh, looking back to my body, seeing it slowly growing colder and a voice behind me clears its throat. I turn to see a woman wearing hooded robes who is shaking her head.
     "I'm sorry you died, but it is not yet your time to leave." I blinked, baffled and about to object, given everything I've gone through, but I look back to my body, nodding slowly as I see nurses bringing me back to life, but I'm not there anymore. I'm just a reflection, an echo, a ghost. I shudder as I imagine myself stuck like my other selves have been and wait patiently and watch. The nurses are asking me questions and I seem to be doing well except a few that should have been completely easy. I, or rather the me now inhabiting my body alone, seems to have finally done what I couldn't do until death. She waits and watches with me as I see myself struggling to piece back together my memories, having large gaps in place. I've finally let go, I realize, not just in fighting the monstrous ghosts of me, but in actuality. The woman with hooded robes smiles and starts gesturing my other ghostly selves off into a doorway opened up in the sky, a bright light preventing anything inside from being seen.
     "Where are we going?" I ask, unable to hide my worry and curiosity. The woman just smiles, gesturing onward and I obey, walking into the light.