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NetherART — 'The Beginning'
Published: 2006-10-18 21:56:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 99; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description I
CHAPTER
(Part I of “The Beginning)




The moon shone brightly over the surface of the ocean surrounding the great land of Azaroden. They moons glow reflected beautifully over the water with the force of one thousand suns. The bright light shone upon the sharp features of a boy a fourteen. This boy, the one destined to rule….



                                                  * * *


Thoren, Prince and heir to the throne of King Théoden II, his father, sat gazing upon the marvel that was the moon. Nearby lay the huge cliff over-looking the sea, was King Théoden’s stronghold. Thoren often came down the treacherous path from the cliff to sit and contemplate his thoughts about his life.
This particular night Thoren spent his time thinking about his father who happened to be sick with a very rare disease. What will happen? Who will become King if Father dies? It couldn’t be me! I am not of age!
Then came a shout, “ Thoren! Thoren!
Thoren looked towards the sudden disturbance. A lantern bobbed up and down as a messenger galloped breathlessly towards him on his black stallion.
                “Thoren! Where have you been? I have been all over yonder looking for you!” the breathless messenger scolded.
                 “Thoren replied, “ You know that I am down here every night! So speak Messenger!’
                 “Your father is dying! You must go to him! He has been calling your name for hours in a delusional state!”
                  “Hop on quickly!” said the messenger.
                  Thoren quickly scrambled up onto the back of the stallion. They galloped toward the looming castle ahead of them, Thoren thought: My horrors have come true! What is to be done? The treacherous journey up the path seemed to pass in a blurry haze. Thoren then ran breathlessly towards his father’s chambers.
                  “ Thoren, Thoren,” croaked the King -All of his men-at-arms surrounding him, including the Duke, Odin, Thoren’s uncle.
                  “ I am here Father, “ whispered Thoren.
                  “ Thoren, there you are! I am dying, you must let your uncle, Odin take my place until you become of age.” rasped Théoden.
“But…” started Thoren.
                  “ You know why, son, do well…” and with that, the greatest king of two ages died, hand and hand with his son.
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Comments: 5

Jude020507 [2008-01-28 16:34:39 +0000 UTC]

Other than that, really nice. I like the use of accent marks

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NetherART In reply to Jude020507 [2008-01-28 16:46:15 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

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Jude020507 [2008-01-28 16:31:05 +0000 UTC]

Hey, dude. Nice imagery. I was wondering, though, why would the messenger be breathless if he were riding a horse?

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NetherART In reply to Jude020507 [2008-01-28 16:42:44 +0000 UTC]

because of erm...uh....lol...requires muscle to do it at a gallop? try out my new beggining to this (cloak of darkness)

im not sure which to use yet though...

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sean-lee [2006-11-14 08:22:05 +0000 UTC]

Hidden by Owner

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NetherART In reply to sean-lee [2006-11-16 00:27:32 +0000 UTC]

ya kno...i dnt meen for it to have the same names....it just happend...besides ther are pleanty of books w/ that name...soo? its not good then?
i was trying to create my own style...

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