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omnipotent-lion β Dead Man's Prayer
Published: 2007-12-04 01:24:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 200; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description
When in red fire the soul cries and shrieks shrill,Coming as the devil in the depths of hell,
I send up mine eyes to heaven, will pain cease?
Good Lord, I pray humble, wilst thou grant me peace?
My sweet and pure Lilah, child of thy name,
Year past was called to thine gates, away from flame.
Gone now, my child, will I eβer find release?
Good Lord, I pray humble, wilst thou grant me peace?
Mine sin I did drown in flagons cold and deep,
And prayed unto you, good Lord, her soul to keep,
Am I to be the plaything of your caprice?
Nay, Lord, now, I say, at long last grant me peace.
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Comments: 4
So, the first two lines of a stanza are ten syllables, and the last two are eleven? I may have to try this one!
Nice work, it's great to see you branch out with writing styles. ^_^ But, in the second stanza, you said "wilst though" instead of "wilst thou". Otherwise, I like this, especially how you related it to your story.
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Haha, oh, and I didn't notice the mistake with "wilst"....I'll go fix that.
Thanks, glad you like it.
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Hm....they should both be eleven...*goes to check* There's no set meter, per say, they just have to be the same length throughout. And in the most traditional form, some variation of the phrase "Lord have mercy" needs to be repeated at the end of each quatrain.
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Oh, I see... Very cool! ^_^
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