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omnipunk — that night
Published: 2002-05-31 20:57:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 129; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 21
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'that night'by joshua a.
she slips on her clothes
and she pulls back her hair
that twinkle in her eyes
just knowing that she cares...
i pulled over my shirt
to find her gazing
i ask to her "what?"
and she leans over and wispers...
i love you
with all of my heart
my soul is yours
forever, let us never be apart...
and my heart it melts
my soul cries in passion
i look to the stars
and thank god this happened
i took you home
walked you to your door
with your hands on my hips
and your lips on my lips
fireworks!
explode in the midnight skies
its fate that i kicked your foot
in the hall that day
and who would have thought
that it would be,
you and i, would be us
its so great, it was meant to be
that night was the best night ever.
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Comments: 3
took you advice hedda, i agree. i think it sounds a little less intimidating now. i also made another minor change, im alot happier with it now.
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very beautiful. I wish everyone would experience something like this.
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Whatever does not kill me
is probably just reloading
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👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I like the subtle rhyming in this...
and these lines...
with your hands on my hips
and your lips on my lips
so vivid and touching in their simplicity... there is a lot of raw feeling in this...
my only suggestion might be to use a word other than "glaring"...when I first read it, it sounded like she was mad
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