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There he is.
He lies beside me while I read my book, silent, legs tucked underneath his body, carefully licking one paw. I wish he’d only stay that way.
I remember when he was tiny - he would walk behind me on my way to school and crouch under my desk during lessons. At lunch time I would draw pictures of him. We liked to be alone mostly.

As we grew I started to follow him instead, he had so many ideas but every one was about weakening me so that he could have fun. I think he started to resent me. He was the prisoner and I was the guard and in all honesty I could have done better.
I remember lying on my back, a thinning patch of grass beneath me and warm, heavy drops of rain falling on my face - the world is spinning and he is running around in the mud howling - a tremendously shrill howl that would echo in my mind for days to follow. I’m bleeding and too dizzy to move but that’s okay, it’s all in the name of fun.
“This is what will make you interesting one day.”

Why did I keep following him? As I grew, so did he and I spent more time watching him through blurry eyes and chasing after him on weakened legs.
Passing out drunk at 2am quickly turns into popping valium at 8am because you’ve been up all night railing whatever was on that board.
I grew up, moved on to the big leagues - I mostly rode there on his back. I didn’t want to keep going but every day I would wake up and pull my duvet higher over my head while he howled and howled until I got up and fed him and my wolf refused to eat what wolves eat, rabbits and things - he ate speed wraps, hearts I left in my bed and occasionally the odd kebab.

It’s difficult having a pet wolf. He mostly gets his own way, I can hardly argue with those enormous sharp teeth and when he howls that shrill, screaming howl it feels as though my brain wants to jump out of my skull and into his jaws. I am weakened.
He stops licking his paw and looks up at me, I put my book to one side and look back - “Please don’t start.” I say. He whimpers quietly and starts to lick the other paw and I close my eyes and pray in silence that tonight I might get some peace.