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Published: 2004-05-18 02:52:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 78; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description
the straight in narrow was directly in front of megoing every which way.
so I went straight.
and I went narrow.
and what I saw
was far too much to have seen,
without you.
so the sun was out,
and I was the wind.
and there was beautiful boiling gray in the sky
ah yes, it would rain.
the beautiful kind that’s warm, sweet, and crisp,
the beautiful kind that heals pain.
damn you windshield
you thin transparent barrier
between the wonders of the world
and all that it is myself.
i want the wind in my hair.
i want the sun in my eyes.
and when the grey sky opens,
to pour itself onto the world,
let the rain kiss my face.
let the rain kiss my face.
but the sun fell below,
and all that was left was darkness,
and what the headlights illuminated.
there was no more sun,
no more rain,
only the wind.
and i needed you windshield,
to protect me from that wind,
and the iridescent green
that those headlights reflected.
oh you are a crutch.
damn you windshield
you thin transparent barrier
between the wonders of the world
and all that it is myself.
i want the wind in my hair.
i want the sun in my eyes.
and when the grey sky opens,
to pour itself onto the world,
let the rain kiss my face.
let the rain kiss my face.
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Comments: 9
just-flesh [2004-10-21 17:35:31 +0000 UTC]
This is a good subject for a song, better than "judt dance" (i despise pointless songs).
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ailurophile [2004-08-16 23:15:06 +0000 UTC]
"yes, it would rain.
the beautiful kind that’s warm, sweet, and crisp,
the beautiful kind that heals pain."
I think I know what you're talking about here . . . another lovely, lovely poem. I can see them as lyrics very easily.
As for the audio capabilities . . . well, forgive me as I am a newbie, but I just had that same thought a few days ago! I was like, "there is art, there is writing, why is there no music?" Bandwith concerns, perhaps, but the server must be huge anyway. It should be feasible enough to host at least lo-fi .wma or something . . . maybe not full fldged mp3 if bandwidth's such a problem. Foolishly I thought I was the only one who felt this way, but it's good to see others are like-minded. Give us music, DA!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pair0docs In reply to Ailurophile [2004-09-20 21:33:55 +0000 UTC]
yah, i've now started to record, and i'd like someplace to generate feedback.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
overthemoon [2004-05-29 02:30:08 +0000 UTC]
Oo lovely! I like this one a lot....it's really beautiful as a poem. I bet it's even more lovely as a song. Just one thing: "ah yes, it would rain." I don't know how this line fits into the song but it sounds really out of place in the poem. Just a thought....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pair0docs In reply to overthemoon [2004-06-01 03:02:10 +0000 UTC]
i deleted the "ah" in that line in the version saved on my computer. thanky much for the comments. p.s. has anyone pushed for audio capabilities on DA? i.e. me posting recordings of my stuff in the DA forum?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
overthemoon In reply to pair0docs [2004-06-01 23:12:35 +0000 UTC]
Oh, I see. It's a very lovely poem! I'm not sure about the audio stuff you mentioned. You might ask an admin.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
betweensmiles [2004-05-19 01:20:22 +0000 UTC]
interesting views and perspectives
fused with a nice emotion
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pair0docs In reply to betweensmiles [2004-05-19 01:35:05 +0000 UTC]
i like that one too, thank you for your honesty.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1