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pangjunmin — A hug can...
Published: 2010-09-30 04:08:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 880; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 3
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Description A hug can say anything
A hug can say something
A hug can say hi
A hug can say bye
A hug can make you smile
A hug can make you cry
A hug can erase your fears
A hug can bring you to tears
A hug can bring two, together
A hug can say farewell, forever
A hug can be the one thing you need
A hug can set your heart free
A hug can never say nothing
A hug will always say something
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Comments: 17

LadyTudor [2013-06-30 03:36:16 +0000 UTC]

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fugems64 [2011-02-26 07:05:32 +0000 UTC]

Dude, I hate you, you took an idea I had and made it yours more then a year before I could peice it together, but real nice work. I like you

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pangjunmin In reply to fugems64 [2011-02-28 19:46:40 +0000 UTC]

lol, this was because my sister's friend just had her boyfriend break up with her, so
it was one of those moments of inspiration after a really long dryspell

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fugems64 In reply to pangjunmin [2011-02-28 23:28:46 +0000 UTC]

ya I know what your talking about

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PigeonSimba [2010-09-30 22:04:45 +0000 UTC]

I think it matches very well and I love the rhythm. Makes me jealous I didn't write it.

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pangjunmin In reply to PigeonSimba [2010-10-01 02:01:12 +0000 UTC]

Thank you
it's thanks to the people around me too each time i hugged someone, or was hugged
do you want a hug?

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PigeonSimba In reply to pangjunmin [2010-10-04 00:08:29 +0000 UTC]

xD Sure.

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melpomene-tragicmuse [2010-09-30 17:48:57 +0000 UTC]

you've captured all the essences of a hug quite well...

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pangjunmin In reply to melpomene-tragicmuse [2010-10-01 01:58:55 +0000 UTC]

thank you ^-^

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Wor-D-Rizzle [2010-09-30 15:24:29 +0000 UTC]

agreeing with you whole heartedly maybe what you say makes so much sense coz i'm also a very hug-ish person nothing makes me feel better than a hug.
good job

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pangjunmin In reply to Wor-D-Rizzle [2010-09-30 17:01:25 +0000 UTC]

Aww thank you ^-^

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Wor-D-Rizzle In reply to pangjunmin [2010-10-01 02:58:34 +0000 UTC]

any time >

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xKilaylaXstarx [2010-09-30 04:27:50 +0000 UTC]

I think it's absolutely lovely, and completely true. I love hugs ^_^

The only thing that I think could change, and this is a preference because it's kind of a pet peeve of mine to never have the same word or phrase so close together in a stanza or paragraph or line, is the line: "A hug can say good bye, forever". The line is fine on its own, but since you already said "A hug can say bye", I think you could change "good bye" to maybe "so long" or "farewell". Personally, I think farewell is better, but both sound good and would fit well :3

It's the same effect as writing "A hug can make you cry" and then a couple lines later you write "A hug can bring you to tears". They essentially mean the same thing but the fact that they are worded differently makes the poem sound more pleasant and also perhaps provoke different emotions.

Also, I liked the fact that every line up until the last start "A hug can..." and then the last line replaces "can" with "will". The single word change makes it seem more absolute and dramatic, and I like it.

Overall, really well done and I hope my advice helps or gives you something to think about

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pangjunmin In reply to xKilaylaXstarx [2010-09-30 05:45:30 +0000 UTC]

Lol, yeah, that's one thing i didn't want to do,but i already wrote forever and was wondering about what else to put :/ since hi automatically goes with bye, but then i just wanted to add stuff
thanks though for the feedback ^-^ what do you suggest? should i just erase it? or you have an idea to replace it with? ooh, a rhyme erase/replace

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xKilaylaXstarx In reply to pangjunmin [2010-09-30 05:49:35 +0000 UTC]

I think it can stay as long as you replace "good bye" with maybe "farewell". They mean pretty much the same thing, but like I said may provoke different emotions for different people. It's already really good

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pangjunmin In reply to xKilaylaXstarx [2010-09-30 06:15:50 +0000 UTC]

good call on the farewell thanks ^-^
it's nice to know, cause you can look back and think, i've hugged ppl so many times, for tons of different reasons
but thank you thank you thankyou for the feedback, you're the best help i've ever gotten

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xKilaylaXstarx In reply to pangjunmin [2010-09-30 06:25:48 +0000 UTC]

No problem ^^
It is!
Wow X3 You're most welcome! I love helping others, especially with their writing

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