HOME | DD

peterdawes β€” 2. Love by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-05-17 12:49:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 723; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 8
Redirect to original
Description fissures forming on my sanity
my god, i've come undone.
suddenly everything simple
has become complex
and everything complicated
has been reduced down to the
barest of essentials.

existing upon sustenance not consumed;
beckoning my cravings into
overindulgence.
the object of my need
taking on corporeal form.
not found within the form of
air, food, or water
found within someone's soul instead.

you are all i require to survive.

when did this happen?
enslaved to something so fragile;
little mortal woman
with fiery eyes and soothing hands.
shackles upon my wrists
bound by chemistry and emotion.
they say it must be love
but is this truly the experience?

does love drive a man
to the point of drifting away
from everything he knows;
every impulse which comes as natural?
does love possess a being
to the point of foolishness
with such blindness
that they openly masquerade
as the fool for all to see?

still, i know it
just as much as i know
my name,
my identity,
my very existence.

you are all i require to survive.

lock me away in my madness;
save me from myself
before i do something rash.
for i know not myself
any longer
as i once thought i had.
the lunatic who possesses
these bones is in control
and he lives
only to serve you.

he speaks the words
as though a drowning man
forcing out his final breath.
it is you he sees
as the current takes him under
and the sight of your siren beauty
compels the laugh of insanity
from his pallid lips.
if i am that man
then i know what he screams
into the watery depths
that take him under.

it is you, dearest
that consumes his soul.

you are all i require to survive.
Related content
Comments: 52

katarthis [2008-09-21 21:05:58 +0000 UTC]

And I agree.

k

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Losttothepast [2008-06-14 23:56:23 +0000 UTC]

Woo, I love this Peter. I'll definitely be watching this group of hundred. I wish I could write like you. One day I will, but until then you'll serve as one of the models I learn from.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Losttothepast [2008-06-15 02:35:53 +0000 UTC]

Now, I am truly flattered. I am but a child with fingerpaints, creating chaos from the ensuing mess. But I am glad you all enjoy it.
Thank you, my dear.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

HoldingBackTears [2008-05-27 21:37:06 +0000 UTC]

I too have felt these feelings and seen the depths of their inescapable control. Alas, mine hadn't a happy ending.
Nonetheless, this was excelently written. I applaud you, dear friend.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to HoldingBackTears [2008-05-29 10:41:38 +0000 UTC]

I am still waiting to see if my happy ending is as elusive.
I anticipate yours shall come in due time.

Your applause humbles me, as always. Thank you, dear. I truly appreciate it.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

HoldingBackTears In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-29 22:21:33 +0000 UTC]

I do hope that your anticipation is correct.

No need to thank me, Peter - I only speak the truth.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

LeonieSainteVire [2008-05-27 15:19:28 +0000 UTC]

It is not a sonnet in the technical sense...but that is irrelevant.

You connected with us in our hearts and minds...no matter the form.

As always...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to LeonieSainteVire [2008-05-29 10:45:00 +0000 UTC]

And as always, I am humbled. Thank you, my dear.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

LeonieSainteVire In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-29 13:36:34 +0000 UTC]

It is my pleasure...I assure you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

dark-dragon-wings [2008-05-21 10:54:55 +0000 UTC]

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to dark-dragon-wings [2008-05-29 10:46:28 +0000 UTC]

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

albonia [2008-05-19 13:52:57 +0000 UTC]

Forget the rhyming, I found this to be crystal clear, which I don't usually find in sonnet's and poetry. Too much interpretation usually. Or maybe I just identify with this on a personal level.

Hmmm.....thinking....

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to albonia [2008-05-29 10:48:48 +0000 UTC]

I truly endeavor for clarity in poetry. Perhaps I am not clever enough to mask my intentions? Or perhaps I am not one to sugar coat what I mean. Either way, I am glad you found something to identify with.

Thinking is both dangerous and necessary. Turns the gears of one's mind, but oh, the consequences of such an action.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

denlm [2008-05-18 13:21:06 +0000 UTC]

I know you were experimenting with a sonnet here, but this seems more like a preamble to the first poem. I prefer the previous piece; it gives me so much more. This was a topic sentence; the other was a thesis!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to denlm [2008-05-29 11:12:18 +0000 UTC]

Yes, it is much like a preamble.
The other poem was what I set out to do. However, I couldn't find the rest of the words I needed to say. So, I condensed the sentiment.

I do believe I am more partial to the other one as well.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Amriah [2008-05-17 20:45:54 +0000 UTC]

I enjoyed this! Your view on love is very pessimistic, but true for today's world. Anyways, great poem.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Amriah [2008-05-17 20:53:11 +0000 UTC]

*chuckles* Pay no mind to the pessimist. I am currently estranged from my beloved. Very hard to see the daisies and the roses at the moment. However, I am glad the poem was still enjoyable.
Thank you for the favorite.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Amriah In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 20:55:02 +0000 UTC]

No problem, and I'm usually pretty pessimistic myself just not in this area

Aw, I hope that is not a permanent thing.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Amriah [2008-05-17 21:05:14 +0000 UTC]

As do I.
And, by all means, stay optimistic in this area, as much as it depends on you. I'm merely old and jaded.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

RedEyedRogue [2008-05-17 20:12:21 +0000 UTC]

I don't this is a sonnet...
at least not in the Shakespearian sense of the word.
It's suppoused to have the scheme -
ABABCDCDEFEFGG
And then have ten syllables in each sentence?

...I could be wrong...

Great poem thing though.^^
Definitely a good flavor for a poem and well written. Some poets don't like constructive criticism...
I don't know though.
This poem reminded me of the God of Madness in a game I play - his name is Sheogorath. He'd likely agree with the ideals you have here.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to RedEyedRogue [2008-05-17 20:44:41 +0000 UTC]

I am certainly open to constructive criticism. Do not hesitate.
No, definitely not a Shakespearian sonnet. I hesitated in using the sonnet model at all until I found this work: [link]

There are a variety of forms within the umbrella of sonnet. I am not certain how much the non-rhyming ones qualify, though. Whatever the matter, Pablo Neruda's sonnets are non-rhyming in English. (Perhaps they rhymed in his native language.) I'll cloak myself within his coattails.

Thank you kindly for your thoughts and the favorite.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

RedEyedRogue In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 21:27:52 +0000 UTC]

...Iambic pentameter! I knew that was the word for it!
Non-rhyming sonnets are fairly common actually, although I had never seen any sonnets without the iambic pentameter scheme of writing.
And don't mention the favorite - I favorite all things I enjoy, and I enjoy your work thoroughly.

By the way, I just noticed something - even the way you write your comments is poetic, as your words flow and are very beautiful to read. Strange, but I think you truly deserve the title of "The poet" - in all meanings of the word. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to RedEyedRogue [2008-05-17 22:07:33 +0000 UTC]

Why thank you. I am flattered. "The Poet" is an inside joke between friends. I was afraid it sounded a bit pretentious of me to assume the title, but nobody has complained yet.

Are there any examples you could cite? I desperately wish to learn this form. There simply seems to be a dearth of examples with which to work from. In the meantime, I've switched this one to "Open".

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

RedEyedRogue In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-18 00:25:21 +0000 UTC]

Not pretentious sounding at all. Worry not!
Most examples I have of sonnets are from books - not the internet. Shakespeare is the best read for the original type of sonnet. Romeo and Juliet's first page is a a sonnet...:thinking:
Unfortunately I cannot remember anything specific right now, but I'll keep my eyes open for anything.
I wish you well, sonnets are a most beautiful type of poetry, and fit your style of writing wonderfully.^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to RedEyedRogue [2008-05-29 10:54:46 +0000 UTC]

Oh good. I am glad this does not make me pretentious.
I shall have to do more research on sonnets. One of these days, I shall get a handle on the form. (Hopefully.) Thank you very kindly for your assistance.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MorganeLeFey [2008-05-17 18:40:34 +0000 UTC]

Great poem, Peter. I absolutely loved the last stanza.
It's amazing how many good poems you manage to write on the same topic. When I think I've read all that's to read about your love for Her, you mange to surprise me with yet another excellent poem. You have my admiration.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to MorganeLeFey [2008-05-17 20:55:39 +0000 UTC]

Why thank you. Coming from a gifted poet such as yourself, I consider that a high compliment.
Thank you for the favorite.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

MorganeLeFey In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 21:00:51 +0000 UTC]

Now you're making me blush.
You're welcome.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to MorganeLeFey [2008-05-17 21:09:59 +0000 UTC]

Nothing a vampire appreciates more than a little blush to the cheeks.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

MorganeLeFey In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 22:05:51 +0000 UTC]

Getting peckish, Peter?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to MorganeLeFey [2008-05-17 22:13:46 +0000 UTC]

Perhaps just a little.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

DarcKnyt [2008-05-17 17:52:13 +0000 UTC]

Excellent point, Peter. What is love but targeted abandon of sanity for the sake of single other?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to DarcKnyt [2008-05-17 21:06:46 +0000 UTC]

Madness. Pure, unadulterated madness.
It does not make us rational beings, only better ones.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

DarcKnyt In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 21:10:38 +0000 UTC]

AH, Peter -- sometimes not even that. John Hinkley, anyone? Robert John Bardo, perhaps? The list is long and not terribly storied, but terribly sordid.

Not always is the madness separable from its insanity, I'm afraid.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to DarcKnyt [2008-05-17 21:14:55 +0000 UTC]

Good point.
Well, for the less sociopathic of us, then?

I suppose that counts me out.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

DarcKnyt In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 21:18:05 +0000 UTC]

Don't feel bad, Peter ... me too.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Zer0Hawke [2008-05-17 14:45:28 +0000 UTC]

It is masochism and insanity but we could not survive without it.

"The lunatic, the lover and the poet are of imagination all compact"
β€œLovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaping fantasies, that apprehend more than cool reason ever comprehends.”
- William Shakespeare. Because we all know poets are right.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-05-17 21:08:41 +0000 UTC]

I'd not be alive today without it.
It still drives me insane, though.

Thank you for the favorite, my dear.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 21:21:23 +0000 UTC]

It does not drive you insane, my dear - to love, you need to be insane in the first place.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-05-17 22:08:00 +0000 UTC]

Ha ha, quite so. Truer words have not been spoken.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 22:11:55 +0000 UTC]

Only one so mad would put themselves through so much torture, I'm sure. But we'd be empty without it. Look at me, I've gone over all poetic hehe seems my creative muse may be dragging itself back to the forefront of my mind.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-05-17 22:48:46 +0000 UTC]

Follow your muse if she is taunting you. She seems to lead you into some very interesting places.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-05-17 23:27:27 +0000 UTC]

Into the darkest depths of my mind where live creatures whom should not be awakened.. it is where Sam and his demon friends frolick hehe

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-05-29 11:00:22 +0000 UTC]

One would argue I am such a creature. But don't we make life more fun?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-01 21:54:33 +0000 UTC]

*sigh* Unfortunately, I have to admit that you do... but you all could and do get me into such trouble.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-06-12 22:36:25 +0000 UTC]

And such is what the devils live for, to lure saintly women into the throes of mischief.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-13 10:41:18 +0000 UTC]

I could hardly call myself saintly

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-06-13 12:17:54 +0000 UTC]

Ah, but you have the charm and grace of one. But one should know better than to fall victim to the wiles of such a girl, right?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-14 19:05:29 +0000 UTC]

Whatever could you mean by that? *wide-eyed innoncence*

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-06-15 02:53:14 +0000 UTC]

Oh no. The attempt at innocence. She truly is a vixen beneath being the "Cute One".

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1


| Next =>