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peterdawes — 5. Seeking Solace
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Published: 2008-06-25 14:23:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 523; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 6
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Description
within the pictureplaced with delicate precision
on the stand next to my bed.
within the cigarettes
i smoke - one after the other -
night after unending night.
within the flirtatious encounters
i have with other women
while wedding band and the
japanese symbol for fidelity
burn the skin they touch.
(damn that mark they drew upon my arm.)
within the scotch; the drunkenness.
within the laments and rage.
within the poetry that flows
from the pen, staining my fingers
the color of black ink.
the dark color of my soul.
within it all, i delve for solace.
but nothing seems to satisfy.
vain substitutions.
they do not compare
to the touch of your fingers
through the disheveled field of light brown
upon my head.
to the passionate embraces;
the feel of your lips speaking hidden words
through the kisses we've shared.
they burn upon my mouth yet today.
they convict my wandering eyes
my melancholy disposition
and poison my memories
with a happiness that belongs within archival footage
of days spent with you.
seeking solace from the emptiness.
yet one thing resonates
with each vice i pursue
with wine, women, and angst-riddled song.
none of these items
i beg to bring me comfort
can bring the comfort
that comes from holding you.
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Comments: 56
true love, indeed. but where can it be found? one always hopes they have it, but then spends so much time second guessing it.
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The trick is to stop second-guessing, however hard it may be, and just enjoy it.
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As so many others have said, you're formatting is perfect for this. It plays with the eye as your words play with the mind.
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I have fun tampering with the word arrangement when possible. I am glad it enhances the piece instead of distracting from it.
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Argh, how do you do it? ^_^ This is brilliant - I've been struggling with this particularly theme all morning *sigh*
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This one was one of the easier ones for me, but the next one has me a bit befuddled. Break Away from what, exactly?
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The first thing you think of, I guess.. I took the easy option.
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Easy, perhaps, but it was clever.
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beautifully executed! one of my favorites.
i do agree with Lindsay... smoking is bad Ju-Ju. XP
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Kellsie-Reanne is threatening me with stern admonishment regarding the smoking as well.
It is rather difficult to get out of one's clothing, I must say.
Thank you for reading it, dear Kelly.
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aww, thanks. he's such a bad vampire at times.
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I like this. It feels painful. In the sense that it conveys pain of the soul to me.
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Yes, it's partly a confession and partly a plea. All of which culminates into that inner turmoil.
I am not that which I should be and do not have that which I desire. This is the literary result of that state of being.
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And where would our literary world be without that inner turmoil? It is often the driving force of greatness.
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It does drive greatness. And, in my case, incessant whining within the confines of poetic verse.
But you all are so kind as to indulge me.
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LOL, well, you may call it whining, but rest assured, it doesn't come across that way. And it's no effort on my part to "indulge" such expression. It's my pleasure to do so.
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reading the comments above, yeah, I agree, formatting on this site is basically gone to the wind. Here's my suggestion: If you wanna go formalist, type it out and take a screen shot, post image of the poem itself as the "preview image," so you can keep the same category, and post the comment in where it says "add text."
Etc.
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Hmm. . . shall have to remember that. Thank you.
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nice wordplay
and I strongly feel the sentiment
xo!
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Thank you. I enjoy doing this when possible. Maybe one day I shall actually be good at it.
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I really do think that we have walked the same streets at times.
And I love the juxtaposition of words.
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Thank you, dear Leonie. We are kindred spirits, indeed, walking down the same dark paths at times. But you are a much brighter lamp upon the street than I.
Thank you for the favorite, my dear.
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You are most welcome....and it is my red hair...couleur du diable...that catches the light.
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I like poems that play with words... but I like more the words that play with poems.
I lack the desire to write poetry. It would all just be fluffy anyway.
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You never know, it could be quite cathartic. It often is for me.
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Mm, no it would be too happy.
More along the lines of:
Fluffy, fluffy -- googoo happy baby-talk.
Fluffy, fluff, dear god don't you want to puke.
My teeth are rotting out this poem is so sweet;
It's cheese, did you want wine with it?
Fluffy, fluffy -- help me my brain is gone.
Fluffy, fluffy, someone put me out of my misery.
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Ha ha! Somehow, I think you'd do a better job than that.
I take is as though I am speaking to another person, only speaking in abbreviated thoughts.
There really is
no science
to poetry.
Its forms vary
and at times gain
more structure.
But one is dialoguing
with something
either way.
Telling a story
if you will.
Unless you want to be banal and abstract. Then good luck; I've not had any success attempting to be pretentious with my poems.
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I had an English teacher who was very, very AR about poetry and how it had to have some rhyme, reason, beat, form, etc.
He ruined my chances for abstract poetry. I sometimes will include a line or two if it sounds good, or if I'm writing song lyrics, but other than that my poetry is pretty structured.
Sad.
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Tempted to end my moratorium on harming mortals with that teacher. *sigh*
Not that I'm averse to form and structure. I do not do as other haiku poets. They are much looser with their rules, but I adhere to 5-7-5. However, there's equal room for the abstract.
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Heh... I've had one bad English teacher after the next as a youth... it's amazing I still have such a love for writing. I was sure it should have been axed years ago...
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dude, smoking is bad, no matter how long you can live. try chewing gum.
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Chewing gum with my teeth? That would be rather amusing.
Immortality precludes death by cancer. It is a bitch to dry clean from my clothing, though, I do confess.
Welcome home, dear Lindsay. You've been missed.
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yup, it would. try it, see what happens.
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*raises an eyebrow* And after I cut my tongue attempting to remove the impaled piece of gum from my tooth, may I grumble at you?
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Well, what fun is that?
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who said anything about fun?
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I like this, Peter. I don't know that it would work at all without the arrangement of words, though.
By the way -- how'd you do that with the silly (read:"pathetic") editor from dA? It won't let you insert tabs (a no-no on the web anyway), so ... ?
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Ah, there we go. The display is capricious about what it translates. Some of the lines submitted exactly as I arranged them and others needed to be finagled into arrangement.
Bloody editor is a bit pathetic, isn't it?
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I still can't figure out how you scooted them. When I try the SHIFT key, nothing happens except the focus of the cursor moving to another control on the form.
Oh well ... yours looks terrific, Peter.
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I got a bit confused. My apologies. I meant the space bar.
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I follow now. 
I just thought the spaces were less than predictable -- but I see you've mentioned you had to play with it some to get it to work. Finagling about never looked so good.
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Thank you kindly, sir.
Yes, it worked with about 75% accuracy. The rest. . . I don't understand how the hell it interpreted the placement, but it was only off by a space or two.
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It's a proportional-space font, so if you had any characters BESIDES a space on the line it will change where they go. Other than that, the only possible explanation is that dA's editor stinks.
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We'll default to the latter explanation.
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