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peterdawes — 6. Break Away by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-06-26 18:40:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 310; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 1
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Description the suitor
that creeps up
behind you,
and asks you
to please
break away.

the safety
of numbers
is thwarted,
you follow
the notion
to stray.

you follow
in eager
arousal;
you follow
the gentleman's
call.

but when his
teeth puncture
your soft flesh,
in time
you feel nothing
at all.
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Comments: 24

katarthis [2008-09-24 03:39:03 +0000 UTC]

How do you do it?

Play with what makes you.

k

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Kathryn-777 [2008-08-04 02:44:04 +0000 UTC]

Elegant with the touch of compulsion. Love it!

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peterdawes In reply to Kathryn-777 [2008-08-04 17:32:14 +0000 UTC]

thank you kindly.

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Viomoro [2008-06-29 02:18:56 +0000 UTC]

very interesting, the secrets of this life aren't the ones we want to find because it will drain our lives away.

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peterdawes In reply to Viomoro [2008-07-10 13:42:00 +0000 UTC]

Quite so, at times.

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orphicfiddler [2008-06-27 18:00:25 +0000 UTC]

The rhyme scheme is...strangely delightful. Some eerie sort of nursery rhyme recited on a damp, dark street corner to a lost child lured by vague beauty, right before the lurker strikes...

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peterdawes In reply to orphicfiddler [2008-07-10 14:16:58 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very kindly. What a chilling mental image. I quite enjoyed that, actually.

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HoldingBackTears [2008-06-27 03:22:26 +0000 UTC]

woo! i love it!
It reminds me of a beat that one of my dear freinds used to recite poetry to.
Well done, dear Peter.

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peterdawes In reply to HoldingBackTears [2008-07-10 14:33:20 +0000 UTC]

My apologies for taking so long to respond to this comment, dear Kelly. Thank you for your compliment.

By the way. . . your panda is waving at me. I am deriving a substantial amount of amusement from this.

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HoldingBackTears In reply to peterdawes [2008-07-10 22:12:59 +0000 UTC]

AH, Peter. If you only knew how hard I am laughing at the moment. I am so glad that you find humor in my furry little friendh

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peterdawes In reply to HoldingBackTears [2008-07-11 07:11:43 +0000 UTC]

He is a charming little thing. Looks to be the sort of creature my daughter would have loved when she was younger.

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HoldingBackTears In reply to peterdawes [2008-07-11 15:24:15 +0000 UTC]

I do find him quite lovable. But I AM easily amused. :]

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denlm [2008-06-27 01:47:44 +0000 UTC]

Oh this is spooky indeed. There is the innocent sing-song of a nursery rhyme set against the wickedest of acts. It gave me a chill.

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LeonieSainteVire [2008-06-26 23:48:02 +0000 UTC]

::soft twinkle...licks her lips:::mmm...such a tease!

Wonderful offering!

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DarcKnyt [2008-06-26 18:46:37 +0000 UTC]

It's interesting to see you rhyme, Peter. I'm not used to it from you, but it doesn't read like either a limmerick or a Hallmark card, so no harm done by that turn. Well done again.

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peterdawes In reply to DarcKnyt [2008-06-26 18:49:12 +0000 UTC]

Not a normal exercise. Have only done it one other time and was less-than-thrilled with the result.
For the reasons you stated.

Am glad it did not come out sounding trite.

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DarcKnyt In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-26 18:51:25 +0000 UTC]

Not at all. Bravo, my friend. You're very prolific today -- gotten a bite of your own, have you? From your muse?

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peterdawes In reply to DarcKnyt [2008-06-26 18:55:59 +0000 UTC]

Ha ha. . . this will be the last for the moment, lest I inundate the lot of you. But I've had several "bites" in the literary sense. The poetic muse speaks today and in volumes too loud to ignore. I can't say I'm disappointed.

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DarcKnyt In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-26 19:01:50 +0000 UTC]

And neither are your watchers, oh wrinkleless poet.

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peterdawes In reply to DarcKnyt [2008-06-27 02:41:08 +0000 UTC]

Wrinkleless. . . and slightly too pale. One comes as a consequence of the other.

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DarcKnyt In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-27 04:06:17 +0000 UTC]

That's hysterical!

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Zer0Hawke [2008-06-26 18:43:28 +0000 UTC]

hehe, so you got there eventually? And, yes, the devil seems to be out and influencing your writing. Can't say I'm not pleased..

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peterdawes In reply to Zer0Hawke [2008-06-26 18:49:58 +0000 UTC]

The vixen winks from behind the eyes of the angel.

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Zer0Hawke In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-27 13:01:17 +0000 UTC]

Shh, you'll give the whole game away

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