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Cadence: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to a special PSA edition of Getting Away With It. Here's your host OFFICER Phantom!

Phantom: Thank you ladies and gentlemen. You, Like our guest have the right to remain silent. Tonight I'm joined by the primary focus of the BAMBIBOUND channel, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome BAMBI!

Bambi: Mmmh.

Phantom: The pleasure's all mine m'dear. Longtime fans may be wondering why I've traded in my bandelier and belt for an officer's uniform. Well that's because today we're going to talk about SAFTEY. Young Bambi here has been the victim of multiple kidnappings. Often in her own bedroom. ALWAYS from the same guy.

Bambi: Mmmm Mmm Hmmm.

Phantom: You're very brave to speak to my audience on this subject. I mean this guy gets in so many times you'd think he has a key to your bedroom!

Bambi: mmmh

Phantom: Naturally, concerned citizen that I am, I took it upon myself to reach out to Bambi here and invited her on the show. To my surprise her door wasn't even locked (in any meaningful way). Rather than read her the old riot act, I decided to bring her to the show and help other damsels learn how to best avoid capture. Or at least make it more of a challenge for guys like me.

Bambi: MmmmH?

Phantom: Darn right. Imagine, you're modeling your new cosplay, when BAM. Chloroform to the airways. A crying shame really.

Bambi: Mmm.

Phantom: That is true. Some kidnappers don't prefer the use of chloroform. Allergies or the joy of feeling a good struggle. Which brings me to my next point, STUGGLE. It's no fun--- er I mean it can make things easier for your abductor if you don't struggle. Make him work for his hostage ladies.

Bambi: Mmmmh?

Phantom: Nonsense these are great tips for future damsels. What you think I put this get up on as a joke?

Bambi: Mmmh.

Phantom: Madam, I will have you know I take this job very seriously. Why I had to go through 10 boxes of cereal alone to get this BADGE.

Bambi: Hmmm.

Phantom: Captain Crunch if you must know.

Bambi: mmmh?

Phantom: Actually yeah I think I have a box or two left.

Bambi: Mmmm Mmm?

Phantom: Sure. But I get the toy surprise.

Bambi: Mmmh!

Phantom: My house my rules. * Sigh * Folks feel free to join us next week when I will have a more accommodating breakfast guest.

[Credit Roll]

Nowolfoxeswereharmedinthemakingofthisepisode.Forafreetranscriptoftonightsshowpleasehilighttheentitetyofthetext,select'COPY'andthenpasteitintoyourfavoritewordprocessingapplication.IuseMICROSOFTWORD.Why?BecauseIgetafreeofficesubscriptionasaperkofmyjob.LookuponmewithENVYPESANTS!

Story by Me

Bambi is a representation of (used with permission)

Description

Cadence: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to a special PSA edition of Getting Away With It. Here's your host OFFICER Phantom!

Phantom: Thank you ladies and gentlemen. You, Like our guest have the right to remain silent. Tonight I'm joined by the primary focus of the BAMBIBOUND channel, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome BAMBI!

Bambi: Mmmh.

Phantom: The pleasure's all mine m'dear. Longtime fans may be wondering why I've traded in my bandelier and belt for an officer's uniform. Well that's because today we're going to talk about SAFTEY. Young Bambi here has been the victim of multiple kidnappings. Often in her own bedroom. ALWAYS from the same guy.

Bambi: Mmmm Mmm Hmmm.

Phantom: You're very brave to speak to my audience on this subject. I mean this guy gets in so many times you'd think he has a key to your bedroom!

Bambi: mmmh

Phantom: Naturally, concerned citizen that I am, I took it upon myself to reach out to Bambi here and invited her on the show. To my surprise her door wasn't even locked (in any meaningful way). Rather than read her the old riot act, I decided to bring her to the show and help other damsels learn how to best avoid capture. Or at least make it more of a challenge for guys like me.

Bambi: MmmmH?

Phantom: Darn right. Imagine, you're modeling your new cosplay, when BAM. Chloroform to the airways. A crying shame really.

Bambi: Mmm.

Phantom: That is true. Some kidnappers don't prefer the use of chloroform. Allergies or the joy of feeling a good struggle. Which brings me to my next point, STUGGLE. It's no fun--- er I mean it can make things easier for your abductor if you don't struggle. Make him work for his hostage ladies.

Bambi: Mmmmh?

Phantom: Nonsense these are great tips for future damsels. What you think I put this get up on as a joke?

Bambi: Mmmh.

Phantom: Madam, I will have you know I take this job very seriously. Why I had to go through 10 boxes of cereal alone to get this BADGE.

Bambi: Hmmm.

Phantom: Captain Crunch if you must know.

Bambi: mmmh?

Phantom: Actually yeah I think I have a box or two left.

Bambi: Mmmm Mmm?

Phantom: Sure. But I get the toy surprise.

Bambi: Mmmh!

Phantom: My house my rules. * Sigh * Folks feel free to join us next week when I will have a more accommodating breakfast guest.

[Credit Roll]

Nowolfoxeswereharmedinthemakingofthisepisode.Forafreetranscriptoftonightsshowpleasehilighttheentitetyofthetext,select'COPY'andthenpasteitintoyourfavoritewordprocessingapplication.IuseMICROSOFTWORD.Why?BecauseIgetafreeofficesubscriptionasaperkofmyjob.LookuponmewithENVYPESANTS!

Story by Me

Bambi is a representation of (used with permission)