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Stating the little things is a hard and easy chore. I find that the more I state my issues in these writings, the less satisfied I become. My future's door has finally gotten a knob, but it's locked. I have not the key of kindness or friendship or trust, so why continue? Everytime I lose my pills, I get angry. Or sad. But whenever I try and talk to my friends, they always have a knack for saying the wrong thing. Why I can't do this... That's a repetitive statement and I'm not sure why. I can't survive the night without crying, I don't know, but it's sad. In my eyes. And it really hurts. But pain isn't what this is, apparently. Surely it's just me, going crazy, as usual. I can listen to the air and hear the voices of those around me, focus on certain things, and listen. I don't respond to most things. I find it pointless, anyway. If I find the need to respond, it must be important. I continue to threaten suicide, but I just can't... It's like trying to stay off of the computer. I know I'm not talking to anyone, but just a quick check and I might be. I never am, of course, but it doesn't hurt to check. I suppose. But I never looked at it from this perspective, and now, I think I might be insane. Because there's a single thing to hurt me and I hate you. But then there's when I'm off my pills. And I'm already depressed. And suicidal. And then there's that single comment that sets me off. And then I want to slit your throat and eat your heart to gain your power and courage and then I'll be able to commit suicide. But, of course, to anyone other than myself, I sound crazy. I'm just depressed. I want to state what you shouldn't tell me.

What not to tell someone who's suicidal or depressed.

" Think about all of the people who are worse off than you are. "
My, my, you've made your point, listing all of these things... But what in hell do these have to do with MY situation? Also, why does this make the world any more fit to live in? In all honesty, you are stating more facts on why I should kill myself.

" Trust me, I know exactly how you feel."
No. I doubt very, very strongly you do, unless you are also depressed or suicidal. Being sad for like, 5 days is not depression. It's a melancholy time of your life, and it's probably been there in all of yours. Being sad is different from being depressed, so if you think I'm feeling sorry for myself, take a long look at yourself if you say that you know how I feel.

" It's your fault."
What the hell did I do? It's not like I want to be like this. In fact, it's much less than fair, staring at everyone being happy and I'm sitting here, trying not to slit my throat. What the hell did I do? Force a mental illness into my brain? Yes, this seems right. I don't understand how this is my fault, and not yours. And you wonder why I'm pissed.

" No one said life was fair. "
No one ever said life was worth living, either. What the hell do you want from me? No, life isn't fair, but it doesn't mean that I should have to suffer while you're completely fine. I wish, that just for one day, I could see through your eyes. But nobody should have to look through mine, because if you did, you'd hate yourself, life, and everyone around you. Next time I fucking take something from you, and you complain that it's not fair, I'm going to slap you. Once. And then backhand.

" Try not to be so depressed."
Try not to be such a jerk. It's not like that. It really, really doesn't work like that. So please, try not to think of yourself as a genius. You have no idea how I feel. When you get angry, you don't want to be angry. You just are. It's like if you look at a tree. You couldn't just make it come from thin air. That's not how things work. They're just there. Don't try and be philosophical on me, bitch.

" Sorry, I see you need some space."
This varies. For some people, this may not be one. For me, it is. What the hell makes you think I do? Maybe I need a hug. In fact, I really need some comfort. Not you abandoning me like an animal you don't like. You don't do that. It's tacky. You don't do this to your other friends, which makes it even worse for me. To abandon me in the times where I need something from you, compassion is a good example, just means you don't care. And if I do space myself from you, it means you've already crossed the rest of these lines. So don't assume that.

Breaking bad news when I'm already pissed.
What. The. Hell. If I'm depressed, and have threatened suicide before, what in your mind tells you this is a good idea? In fact, this seems like you're pushing me now. Just an implied, " Do it, kill yourself! " So, what the fuck? Is this like, some way of saying that you're tired of my shit? Just tell me and I'll leave you alone, because chances are, if you were shallow enough towards me to do that, I'll be in no hesitation to back off. And this applies especially to love. Because I, in particular, have loved with my full heart many people. And clearly I am not good enough, and I don't blame them, but at least wait until I'm not pissed. Because I'd rather not scream because the only person that loved me stopped caring, even if it was probably pity love. I mean, I don't blame you, but don't just give me a giant middle finger to the face to the point where I start crying and plotting points on my body I'd need to cut to kill myself, because this, I have done. And I feel like I'm not good enough for anything. Because I'm trash, and at least you organize trash in a bin, and then drag it down the street. Don't just throw it outside to decompose.

I feel like I've gotten some things off of my chest. I'll probably post this. I don't intend on receiving comments, so please don't post anything distasteful. I just hope that you be careful around people you know who are depressed, because, all too often, people say the wrong thing.