HOME | DD
#character #havik #heroine #hip #original #ship #superheroine #did #renderpretender
Published: 2019-08-23 04:00:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 2122; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }
A tragic murder; Milla Visser. It isn't a good origin story without one of these tragedies. A mother, a father, a brother, or a sister slain is a motivation most can understand. Right? Even better though if it's a lover, wife, or husband that gets killed in the origin story. People love heartbreak, we can't help it.
To give birth to a hero, someone must die, at least that's what the Greeks thought. It's practically a requirement, some ancient ritual fueled by blood sacrifice, and performed under the cover of an unconcerned moon.
Who was Milla to me? My motivation. My reason for existing. The reason I put this rubber costume on, this mask, and the reason I fight.
For what?
Super City?
This cesspool of corruption? A city built for the sick amusement of the few at the expense of the many? A playground where the bullies have more money than God and they aren't ashamed to spend that money on their sadistic kinks and fetishes.
A place where someone as beautiful and caring as Milla Visser is murdered, strangled within earshot of a police cruiser; killed as half a dozen people scurried by only feet away. They pretended not to hear the struggle, the fight, and kept walking even as Milla's last breath was lost somewhere between her lungs and her lips. Unceremoniously she was thrown in a dumpster and discarded, like yesterday's trash.
And for what?
To give birth to me? To put me in the cross hairs of twisted women like White Lotus, Black Mass, and Wicked Web? Or maybe half the Super City police force, always on someone's payroll, will come gunning for me and want more from my body than just my pretty little head.
Milla was hope, an idea, a wish in this world denied by a cruel god moments before being granted. Maybe she was a beautiful rainbow, kept just out of reach from those who needed treasure the most.
Milla. Who was she to me?
To me?
Me.
Me.
I'm Milla Visser. Now.
What's better for an origin story than a tragic murder?
A good plot twist. Usually the really good plot twists come at the end, but you get this one early. My gift to you.
Milla used to be a name on a list. Someone who was supposed to do something great, something good, something special. We stop that from happening whenever we can. If the money is good, of course. Otherwise, we don't care. We, as a group, have been doing this for a very long time and my sisters and I are good at what we do.
Something happened though as Milla faded from this world, taken too soon. When she dropped the small suitcase and her newly fashioned costume fell to the ground in that alley; it hit me. Guilt. Remorse. Surprise.
Mostly? Betrayal.
The symbol. It was the symbol, if I'm being honest. The red hawk, the symbol of our order. I'd just killed a sister, one of our own, and I could only imagine why. The official story was she was leaving us, a traitor, and someone discovered her secret. Someone who ordered me to kill her, and like a good follower I did as I was told, no questions asked. We wear masks, we keep ourselves secret, even from each other.
Milla was discovered breaking the rules. Now she's dead. I used to feel nothing and now I feel...
Anger
Remorse
Pain
Hatred
Sadness
What is the opposite of an origin story? A eulogy?
Can this story be both a eulogy and an origin story at the same time?
It doesn't matter, I suppose.
Even we're not allowed to kill heroines, but I guess she never got the chance to be one, did she?
I'm Milla Visser now and whatever she was going to do with this costume is what I'm going to do with it.
For her.
For me.
You know what people like more than a good origin story or a plot twist?
A redemption story.
This is mine.
Related content
Comments: 44
devduck01 [2019-08-31 22:10:34 +0000 UTC]
Very good origin story...nice amount of pathos and a great twist.
I look forward to seeing where the story goes...maybe down an unexplored route or two
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to devduck01 [2019-09-01 03:46:39 +0000 UTC]
We'll see, we'll see.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Cracoviia [2019-08-31 21:03:11 +0000 UTC]
That's really well done. I had no idea what direction you were thinking of going with for Havik but I would never have guessed that. .
I like the monologue as a device for exploring character but I didn't see where it was going to go until then end. Both well-written and well-structured and paced, a good length and tell a powerful, hard-hitting, nasty...and very unique, distinctive 'origin' story.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HoorayForSloth [2019-08-28 19:43:44 +0000 UTC]
Well well. That's certainly more interesting than the usual 'oops I got hit by some radioactive dart' story. Top class writing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to HoorayForSloth [2019-08-28 21:35:01 +0000 UTC]
Thanks dude, glad you like it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thomvinson [2019-08-26 19:46:31 +0000 UTC]
I love it! Great character concept, I like the assumed Identity/role.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Dangerguy01 [2019-08-25 01:35:14 +0000 UTC]
That is a VERY cool idea for an origin story. As compelling as "vengeance" motives are (as you allude to), redemption stories are equally so.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to Dangerguy01 [2019-08-25 16:42:36 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, I'm glad you like it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RenderPretender In reply to FDComics [2019-08-24 00:37:16 +0000 UTC]
Did you expect a happy ending? With me? LOL
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
FDComics In reply to RenderPretender [2019-08-24 07:19:47 +0000 UTC]
Is "happy ending" a euphemism? ... like when people ask for a massage with a "happy ending"
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to FDComics [2019-08-24 12:11:01 +0000 UTC]
Do I seem like the massage parlor type to you? LOL.
Hell, I'm barely the strip club type. The only reason we used to go is because my wife likes girls. Maybe even more than I do. LOL
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
vladen13 In reply to RenderPretender [2019-08-23 19:13:23 +0000 UTC]
Welcome Always good to find that fresh concept
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RenderPretender In reply to MirrorKhaos [2019-08-23 18:44:14 +0000 UTC]
Thanks dude, glad you liked it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
member9 [2019-08-23 10:51:09 +0000 UTC]
And here I thought you were giving out her 3D recipe
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to member9 [2019-08-23 12:39:18 +0000 UTC]
I never do that. What fun are clones? None. George Lucas proved that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
bob-warden [2019-08-23 09:06:57 +0000 UTC]
That's a pretty dark backstory. I don't think a heroine's backstory has to be dark or really dramatic, but this one certainly is and the twist puts a different perspective to it. It starts with a strong motivation, a serious one that would make it a little tough to see her in naughty situations. But then comes the twist, she was forced to create this situation and then she became a heroine, but it was remorse, guilt and anger that guided her. And now every time she gets captured, a part of her might feel she deserves it. And the villainess will have a lot of psychological ammunition to use against her.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to bob-warden [2019-08-23 12:41:11 +0000 UTC]
Well, a villainess (or anyone else) won't just know what she's done. Though, you're right about the thinking she deserves it part.
She's going to handle peril a little differently, psychologically, than most. While no heroine 'deserves' it, this one certainly will think she does.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
bob-warden In reply to RenderPretender [2019-09-01 18:45:09 +0000 UTC]
I don't know, it does look like some of your villains seem to know just about anything that happens in Super City. So they might know about the heroine's dark past and use it against her.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to bob-warden [2019-09-01 22:28:39 +0000 UTC]
Well, we'll just have to see who this little group of "sisters" she used to work for is and who their leader is.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
bob-warden In reply to RenderPretender [2019-09-17 19:14:36 +0000 UTC]
Can't think any of your current villains, since that's not really their style.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
KarenGaianni [2019-08-23 04:12:31 +0000 UTC]
Wow, that is dark! Even for the standards of heroines origins! Is dark, very dark, but amazing! I like it!
Or in other words.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZScVnT…
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to KarenGaianni [2019-08-23 04:38:05 +0000 UTC]
LOL. I'm glad you found it horrible and fascinating?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
KarenGaianni In reply to RenderPretender [2019-08-23 04:40:04 +0000 UTC]
Is a meme that use an Argentinan Youtuber, when there's a scene that is shocking but at the same time awesome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RenderPretender In reply to KarenGaianni [2019-08-23 04:40:29 +0000 UTC]
I like it! Muy Bueno!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0