HOME | DD

RobotsWithCookies — WRITING DEATH SCENES HELPS WITH STRESS
Published: 2012-07-17 16:11:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 95; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS, THEN DON'T READ THIS!!
It's a part for Beasts&Vermin that happens later
And press the 'P' button, it looks cleaner



Gormesh waited patiently at the edge of the Underground. He was close enough to keep the entrance to Soguin in sight, but far enough away so that Zikon's guards wouldn't notice him loitering about. His huge frame relaxed against the graffitied wall, his outward appearance seeming bored. But the dread in his eyes as he stared intently at the entrance spoke of a fear that he had buried long ago.
His large shoulders, covered in thick brown fur, stiffened as the mechanics bolting the closed door began to whir, slowly opening the entrance. His hand unintentionally clenched as the guards looked momentarily startled, then nodded their heads at the one entering the underground. For a moment, Gormesh hoped that all his fears were an old man's paranoia, that all his time in the underground was well spent.
It felt like an anvil crushing his skull as he saw the white robes, the white wings, the deep troubled eyes of his dear friend, leave the hated city Soguin. His eyes closed momentarily, his thoughts crashing into each other. What on earth could Surren be doing up there? How is he even let up? How could he betray his trust, after all these years?
He opened his eyes, his expression blank. He watched Surren look uneasily around, hitch up his robes so he wouldn't trip, and began making his way deeper into the Underground. He didn't notice the large kraars presence. Maybe he was getting sloppy. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. Gormesh followed Surren slightly behind, steeling himself for this confrontation. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go up to his friend and demand why he betrayed him. He didn't really want to know. He felt all his years on his shoulders, he felt all his determination, will, desire, trickle down the drain. But he had to.
"Surren." Surren stopped suddenly, spinning around his eyes wide, his face contorted in fear. His expression did not change as he saw Gormesh come out of hiding, his face cold. Neither of them spoke as they watched the other.
"G-Gormesh…" Surren murmured. He swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. "I was just-"
"Leaving Soguin?" Gormesh muttered, stepping closer. For all his dark expression, his stiff arms, his clenched fists, Gormesh was screaming inside, not wanting to believe. "Why?" he asked.
Surren slowly calmed himself, bringing his mask of calm over his face. "There was… an emissary… they asked me to answer," he said. It wasn't entirely false.
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Gormesh roared. Surren flinched back, the bear's apprehension turning to rage.  "AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, FOR ONCE TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH!" He let out a breath, his anger seeping out as quickly, as it came, as he stared at the terrified face of his companion. "Surren… you said you were fine down here… you didn't want to go back."
Surren bowed his head, clenching his eyes shut. Gormesh watched him, his face showing every hurt, every betrayal, but also a small hope that Surren will clear this all up, that he was really just answering an emissary. Why then, would he go to this secrecy? "Surren… answer me."
Surren looked up into Gormesh's face, his face void of any emotion. "I am so sorry, my dear friend." He stepped closer to the bear. "You were right, I can't change the future."
Gormesh stepped back as the swan suddenly lunged at him. He made no noise as a sharp pain spread through his gut. He did nothing as he felt his strength slowly slip away. His legs buckled and he fell to his knees, Surren holding him as if they were embracing. He still had his hand on the knife in Gormesh's stomach. "I tried… I tried so hard to leave you out of this…" Surren whispered, laying his head on the bear's shoulder. "I tried… I tried to change things… but I can't. No one can." He looked into his dying friend's eyes. Gormesh stared, his head heavy, his limbs unresponsive. His vision blurred, a tear running down his face, as Surren's long pale fingers touched each side of his face, bringing his head closer. He gently kissed the top of his head, tears swarming down his face as well.
"Goodbye, my friend…"

Mikash stood over the body of Gormesh, leader of the strongest fighting group in the Tournaments, last one standing between the Underboss and total control of the Underground. He knelt by the dead kraar, the devzin's entire being a mask of calm, and noted the dried blood around the wound. He checked the body's mouth, and noticed the foam still lingering, obvious sign of poisoning.
His men circled the crime scene looking for any signs of the murderer. Mikash knew they weren't trying very hard. He looked back at what was once Gormesh, and knew he would soon be forgotten. He tried to straighten up, but realized he couldn't move. He wanted to look away, but realized he had to look. This kraar, no, this man, was more honorable than those devzins. Than himself, Mikash thought. One of the men moved past him, and he noticed a small glint in the changing light.
He touched the wound and felt something hard. He reached in, the men stopping what they were doing to watch him with barely masked horror. Even these senior soldiers of Soguin could barely stomach the gruesome. He gripped the small sliver of metal and pulled it out. At once he recognized it.
The men began moving back to Soguin, their moods considerably lifted now that they knew Gormesh only just got in a fight that ended bad. They didn't have to go through the tedious process of finding who the murderer was because they al knew Gormesh had it coming. People died in the Underground all the time, this was no different.
Mikash followed behind, deep in thought. The small knife in his hand taunted him. What are you doing, Surren?
Related content
Comments: 4

ForestRabbit [2012-07-18 19:46:10 +0000 UTC]

I really like this!
Was he poisoned before the confrontation, and it didn't have time to start effecting him? Did his friend maybe kill him so he wouldn't have to experience the pain of the poison? That could be an interesting twist... who poisoned him, and why did Surren know?
I think if you focused on one of them, it would work more than focusing on a little of each? I'm not sure though, sorry!

Poor dead people. I think you might want to rewrite this after you put it in. Like... it seems like when you wrote this, you had in mind that we don't know anything about the characters/world. Which isn't bad, of course! But by the time we get to this part in the story, we might know more about it. So we won't have to be told that he betrayed him, we'll have already seen it earlier, you know? But that's not a big problem at all, I promise!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to ForestRabbit [2012-07-19 14:38:34 +0000 UTC]

The knife Surren used was poisoned cause he's awesome like that.
Yeah when I actually get here, I'll be fixing up everything and all that.
Thanks a bunch!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ForestRabbit In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2012-07-20 14:56:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh no!
Okies!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to ForestRabbit [2012-07-20 16:19:42 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0