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RobotsWithCookies — With the Bears Chap. 1 EDITED
Published: 2011-06-18 16:17:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 563; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 5
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Description I stared out across my country, Rienvia. The sun was nearly above the horizon and as I looked down I saw my people beginning their day's work. It will all be different for them by this time tomorrow...

I sighed, walking back into my study, closing the doors to the balcony behind me. I walked over to my desk and rifled through the papers sitting on top. The report from General Gurvin informing me of his progress with the Taechoon Tribe was still unopened.
I sat down on the red cushioned chair and picked up my knife, also adorned with red. I slit the envelope and pulled the general's report out. They were successful. Entirely successful. There were no casualties. The tribe was taken completely by surprise. The few survivors left have abandoned their lands, which now belonged to Rienvia. I should be happy, but my eyes drifted to the sheet of paper that had been under the General's report.   
        
I stood up quickly and turned to the window, my shaking hand rising to my forehead. I still can't believe… I shook my head and opened the doors and stepped out onto the balcony once again.

My gaze turned to the Forest of Solitude. Things would never be as they once were with the animals. Ever since the bear attacked my son, there was no peace between old friends. I can't say the bear had no reason, but my son is my son. He comes first. Always.
There was now a war brewing between us. A war started by my son. He had loved those woods. We used to walk through the trees. I remember when we saw the bears. They were beautiful. They talked. They loved, just like us. I realized then that the animals had their own kingdom inside of mine. It was so beautiful…

The most beautiful of them all, though, was the silver stag. I first saw him at a pool by a waterfall. He stared at me with those deep indigo eyes and for a second, I thought he would bolt, like the deer I'm used to would. Then he spoke.
He spoke of a prophecy, a prophecy about light, dark, and the bears. He told me about the Walkers. About those who would stop at nothing to have their power. So many things were revealed that day, and none of it ever passed from my lips. I never told anyone, especially my son.

How complicated things became. Who knew my only son would cause all of this? One moment I'm cradling his crying form as blood gushes from his eye and the bear runs off to his forest. The next I'm conducting secret meetings with the silver stag as my son, now a grown man, turns my city against the Forest of Solitude. The people began glaring at the trees, spitting curses at the animals. The forest I loved became the Dead Wood.

Hunters entered the trees and came back carrying dead animals by their limp necks. One group of hunters went after the grad prize. The bear himself. Not one of them came back that night. The next morning, the head of the man leading the hunting party was found in the middle of the street. The animals answered the call of war.

Even after that, I continued talking with my friend, the stag. He told me things that needed to be done, people that needed to stay in Rienvia, others who had to leave. I followed his suggestions, for I didn't want this war to get any worse.

I'm afraid I cannot anymore. My power as King is now void. The door to my room opened. I turned and saw two stone-faced guards standing in the opening. I straightened up, keeping my breath steady, my hands firm. "It is time, King Makaan." I turned to them.
Instead of respect, I was greeted with disgust. I made my way back into the room, my hand resting briefly on the paper which I couldn't bare to address before. The soldiers came to me and took me by each arm, then escorted me from the room.

As they steered me down the hallway, all that was in my head was the image of my son's signature at the bottom of a warrant for my execution.

Chapter 1
Gabriel
"I wanna be the mage!" I sighed and looked at my friends, Rachel. We have been friends for almost a year now! When me and my mom moved here, she had helped us unpack! Well… we actually just took stuff outta boxes and put them on the floor.

"But you gotta be the princess! Who else am I supposed to save?" I said frowning at her. I straightened the blanket around my shoulders to make a more impressive cape.

She pouted, crossing her arms. "But Gabriel! I'm always the princess! Why can't we both save the princess?!" she whined.

"Who's gonna be the princess then? We can't save anybody if  no one's gonna be her!"

"This is the princess!" Rachel held up the new doll she had gotten for her birthday. My eyes widened. Oh shoot!

"Uhhh… okay! But I gotta go, I uh… hear my mom calling!" I said jumping up. I ignored Rachel's confused expression as I climbed down the ladder of our tree house.

"Gabriel!" she called after me.

"Sorry, Rach! I'll see you later!" I ran in the direction of my house, hoping Rachel didn't notice. I forgot her birthday! She finally made it to the double digits! Like me! I couldn't believe it! I was gonna get her a princess crown too!

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the footsteps chasing after me. "AHHHHH!" I yelled crashing to the ground. I groaned, feeling Rachel's weight on top of me.

"You forgot my birthday, didn't you?" she said sitting on my back.

"N-no! I just forgot to grab your present when we left!" I replied quickly.

"Gabriel!" she yelled, tickling my sides. I jumped, trying to squirm out from under her laughing, as she continued the tickle torture!

"Gabriel!" We both looked up, forgetting about the torture. The trees were quiet, a light breeze rustling the leaves. "Gabriel!"

I got up quickly. "Uh oh… I think I'm in trouble…" She giggled, brushing the leaves off her overalls. "It's not funny!" I said, playfully pushing her shoulder. She laughed, chasing after me as I ran home.

My mother stood on the front porch of our white house. She stood with a hand to her face, tears falling down her cheeks. I slowed down, my smile fading. I haven't seen her cry like this since dad left… Rachel stopped and looked at me, then at her house.

"Mom! Dad!" she yelled, running over. Cars with flashing lights were parked in front of her house. Cop cars! Men were taking notes, studying the broken door at the front of her house. My mom grabbed Rachel's arm, keeping her close. We stared as two men came out, carrying a stretcher between them. Rachel muttered, "What's that?" My mom began to answer when a man with a star on his chest walked up to us. The sheriff!

"Ma'am…" he said, tipping his hat to her. Rachel stared up at him, clinging onto my mom's dress.

"What happened to my house?" she blurted. I took her hand, making sure she didn't cry.

The man knelt down in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders like how grown-ups do when they want to tell you something. "Young missy," he began. "This may come to a bit of a shock to you, and you may not understand, but your parents, well, they have left us." I frowned wondering what he wanted with Rachel.

"Where'd they go?" Rachel asked. The badge man sighed.

"A man, a bad man, came into your house and shot both of your parents. He left no fingerprints, no other form of evidence for that matter. Mrs. Forest here saw him leave. She says he didn't seem normal. I'm sorry young missy. Your parents are dead."

I stared at him. "Dead…?" Rachel murmured. She tightened her grip on my hand. The man straightened up, looking at my mom.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Forest, but I have to take Rachel to her aunt and uncle's."

"Rachel's not gonna leave!" I tried pulling Rachel away, back to the tree house, but my mom grabbed my arm.

"Gabriel, stop it! Thank you, officer," my mom murmured. The man took Rachel's hand, nodded at my mom and led her away. She looked back at me, scared, and waved.
I ran.


I sat in the tree house, watching the cop cars drive away. I laid my head on my arms trying not to cry. I didn't say goodbye! What if… what if we don't see each other again? What if she thinks I don't care about her? I quickly wiped my face when I heard someone climbing up the ladder. "How you doing, Gabe?" my brother Mike said. I shrugged slightly, looking out the window.

"Am I ever gonna see her again…?" I asked. He sat next to me and sighed.

"I bet you will! I mean, you can still call right?" I smiled widely as I realized that.

"You're right! And we can visit each other!" I yelled jumping up. He smiled and nodded.

"See?" I nodded a bit, looking over at Rachel's house. Things are gonna be okay… I just knew it.

5 years later

The tire's broken again. I got off my cheap bike and checked the tire. Great. It's not just flat, there's a huge rock in it! Now I get to walk home. I sighed, adjusted my backpack and started to walk my bike.

The town was still the same. Busy people always minding their own business, not noticing anything but themselves. I'm probly no different. I sighed at my thoughts. I passed by house after house, wondering what other people are like, how they live, who they've lost. It's strange realizing how different people are. My mom says I shouldn't worry about it, but how else will I learn about other people?

I stopped in front of my old neighbor's house. She left to live with her aunt and uncle. Rachel. We never really saw each other after that. We don't really talk anymore. We called each other every day after she moved but then I started getting new friends, she started getting new friends. Then her number got changed. Her house was never moved into. Everyone says the killer might come back. It's now one of those old ghost stories. I like it better empty.

I tied the bike up on my front porch railing. After locking it up, I ran up the stairs and put my hand on the doorknob. Something was wrong. I looked around. No one was on the sidewalks… there were no cars on the streets… Where is everyone? I opened the front door. "Mom? Michael?" my voice rang out. Silence. I frowned. I walked towards the living room, the doorway looking like an opening of a cave. Wait. What?

Come save her.

Who?! What's going on?! Trees took the place of the house walls. The house I lived in all my life. My father's house…

The Bear Child awaits you.

Bear… Child? I stared into the blackness of the cave. A sudden flash of a man holding a crying baby appeared in my eyes. "What's going on?!" I yelled at him. He didn't answer. "Hello?!" I stared getting scared. The man put the baby down in front of a cave. He stared down at it.

She can't wait forever, you know.

I spun around, trying to see who was talking. I turned back to the man, "Did you say that?!" A huge shadow loomed over the man. He turned and ran right at me! I yelled, "Wait, I didn't –" He runs right through me! I stared after him, my eyes wide, my heart pounding. I looked back at the cave and my mouth dropped open.

A huge bear, and I mean huge, stood in front of the cave, staring down at me. I stared up at it, frozen in terror. It reared up, roaring. His shaggy brown hair seemed to blot out the sun. The dustbin size paws flew down towards me and my screams were the last thing I heard.

Two children, light and dark,
Will unite with the Bear Child,
To destroy and yet protect,
That which they care for the most.

Kovaan
The fools bowed as my father, King of Rienvia, passed by. I knew none of them meant it. They just suck up to him so he won't get it in his head to kill them. I bowed my head, not meeting his eyes as he came towards me. His pale skin almost matched his pure white hair that fell down his back. His left eye was cold blue. His right made of fire. I felt coldness  seep through me as he passed. I shivered. He had found out.

I swallowed, a sigh escaping my lips. I turned to Voreth, my friend and captain. He gave me a reassuring nod and patted my back.  I turned back and followed my father. We walked through the dark halls of my father's fortress. Soon, all the guards and traitors dispersed, leaving me alone with him. We entered his main chamber.

The room was dark. A single candle rested on his desk, illuminating only the center of his room. He walked over to the desk and sighed, placing his pale fingers on a pile of papers resting on it.

I quickly closed the door behind me then turned to him. "Father-"I started.

"Don't speak. You disobeyed my orders and-"

"I didn't…"

"Then why is she still alive?" I stared at him as his fire eye met mine. That same chill spread down my spine. The blaze flared and I clenched my teeth as familiar pain shot through my bones. I gasped and steadied myself with a nearby chair. It felt like knives were stabbing into every inch of my skin and fire became my body temperature. The floor came closer to my face. The chair tipped over and my vision blurred as I hit the floor.

His feet came into view and he knelt down in front of me. His pale fingers wrapped around my sweaty neck, pulling me up. He said, "You will go into the Dead Wood and find her. You will bring her to me. Kill all of the bears if you have to. Just do it." I stared up at him. His grip loosened and I fell once again.

When I recovered, I forced my body to stand up and walk. I slowly opened the door and flinched when the light from the hallway hit my eyes. The twelve soldiers that were assigned to me were waiting in formation. They saluted. No one said a word as I made my way past them. "We move out at first light," my voice rang out. I closed my eyes when I felt dizzy from the pain. Dammit, they shouldn't be seeing me like this!

"Kovaan? Maybe we should wait… a few days. Until you recover that is," someone said. I ripped my sword out and scarlet blood splashed against the wall.

I blinked. I looked at the ground. Voreth lay there, blood staining his white armor, a huge gash on his chest. I slowly turned, staring at the rest of my troops. They took a step back, fear in their eyes. I backed up, trying to control my breathing, and walked towards my rooms.

I stumbled in and pulled off my heavy cloak and armor. I walked a few paces, then fell to my knees and vomited. My breathing grew even more ragged as I thought of Voreth on the ground, blood on my sword. I did that? I rubbed my forehead to banish the image. I… killed him. Why? Why did I get so angry? I groaned and swayed, then sat and rested my head on the back of my chair.

A light knock reached my ears quieter than it should've been. I said, "Come in." My voice came out scratched and coarse. The door opened and a young girl of about fifteen years came in.

"You look terrible," she said, walking over to me. She knelt down at my feet. "I heard what happened with Voreth. Jokavh is going to take care of him, don't worry, he'll be alright." Her soft features frowned with concern. "Kovaan? Can you hear me?" She touched my arm. I nodded faintly, my nerves calming down, relieved that I didn't actually kill him. "Your father's getting worse isn't he? What did he ask you to do?" I caught her eyes, brown, which is rare in this country. I must keep my feelings… controlled. For some reason, I never got mad at her. She always calmed me down.

"I have to kill the bears. All of them." I finally managed.

"And the Bear Child?"

"The same. He hasn't changed his mind about her." She sighed, and looked into my eyes, seeing what I try to hide.

"You have too much pain, Kovaan. You must rest."

"The only rest I will have is when that girl is dead," I said leaning my head back again.

She leaned over me and smiled saying, "You care that much about her?" I looked at her and she straightened up, still smiling. "Goodnight, Kovaan. Actually go to sleep this time." I stared after her as she walked out of my chambers.

"Goodnight, Xaena."


The next morning, I joined my troops, preparing for our expedition. They kept glancing at me as I passed, nervous that I may lash out again. I sighed, about to try and explain what I didn't have an excuse for, when Jokavh came in. He motioned for me to come and another sigh left my lips. I followed the Royal Doctor down the hall.

I knew where we were going. Jokavh always comes at the wrong moments. I sighed again, knowing it aggravated him. "Kovaan, I'd appreciate it if you appreciated what I do for you and your father, just once in your lifetime," he said.

"I appreciate what you've done for me and my men but not for my father," I replied with a sarcastic smile. It was his turn to sigh.

We got to the infirmary. It was a well kept, well lit room, with several beads lining the walls. He had a desk by the door, with a cabinet full of medicine above it. He pointed at a chair by his desk and I slumped down. I was neatly covered with notes and bottles, all filled with some liquid or another. He glanced at me and then said, "Xaena said you are worse than usual. She told me what she saw. You threw up?" I stared at everything but him. He stood next to me, checking my eyes with a small light. "I have to make sure we don't lose you before your father. You know what'll happen. Another reign of the 'Fire-eye' King." I looked at the ground when he was done. "Oh, and by the way," he continued. "Voreth survived the night. Guess who saved him?"

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Let's see, you?"

"Yep. He's over there if you want to see him." He motioned to a corner of the room where a bed was surrounded by curtains.

"I'd rather not."

"You're feeling guilty or something?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He just frowned as he checked my pulse. In the silence
that fallowed, I realized how cold it was. "Why is your room so-"

"You have a fever," he said cutting me off. He turned to the shelves and started puling out bottles of his disgusting elixirs.

"That's not for me, is it?" I asked trying to distract myself from the curtained bed.

"Or course not. I'm just getting these because I like drinking "disgusting elixirs"," he said finding the right one. He looked at me. Oops. I forgot about his psychic ability. He always cheats.

He handed me the vial and told me to drink it all at once. "It'll go down faster," he explained. He sat down next to me enjoying my reaction to his medicine.

"You're a bad doctor. You enjoy other people's pain," I said choking slightly.

"Uh, yeah. That's why I became a doctor." He smiled, then became serious. "But listen. I think every time your father does –whatever he does- he's gaining more control over you." I stared at him.

"What?!" I jumped out of my chair. "You mean to tell me, that he was the one that made me attack Voreth?!"

He stood up, making me sit back down. "Voreth told me your eyes looked exactly like his. The, uh, fire one," he explained.

My thoughts flew through my head. He's trying to control me?! He can't! My breathing became ragged again when I realized what he could make me do. "It'll be alright, Kovaan. I'll make sure it doesn't come to that." I stared down. I was grateful for Jokavh and Xaena. They kept me sane in this hellhole.

"Oh yeah, thinking of Xaena, your father told me that a human has come here, a real human, and so he wants you to take her with you." I stared at him. So the one person my father is afraid of is finally here! Good!

Naitafon
The human child still did not stir. I looked at my mate and growled, "We should not keep him." Naita looked at me as if I had no fur.

"Naitafon, do not repeat that ever again. He is not from around here… so he may be able to help Aoka." I looked at my cub. I had found her after she was abandoned by the unloving humans so many moons ago. Her honey colored hair hid her green and brown eyes, so I did not know what she was thinking. I walked over and nudged her with my paw. She looked at me and smiled, handing me an unoccupied bee's nest. I sighed, sending her hair flying out of her face. Fear shone in her eyes. I took the nest with my teeth and set it down.

"I told you not to run off in search of these. Now, what is it you fear?" My cub looked down. She pointed slowly at the human boy and shook her head. Unable to speak, she must rely on gestures and hope that we will understand her.

All of a sudden, the human boy let out a yelp of pain and sat up holding his head. Aoka jumped behind me, her hand touching my fur. The human stared at Naita and myself with wide eyes. I stepped forward and growled my customary greeting, but the boy scurried back into the wall of the cave. I frowned and looked at Naita. "I believe that he is afraid of you," Naita quietly growled. I sighed looking back at the human.

He pinned himself against the cave wall, his eyes wide with terror. Humans. "Do not be afraid," I said slowly. "I mean you no harm." The human's eyes blinked. His mouth opened as if he were about to sat something. "Yes? What is it?" I found his appearance strange.

The messy scrap of fur on his head was black and short. He wore a strange gray shirt with a hood and an unfamiliar blue fabric on his legs. Not very intimidating at all.
He finally found his voice. "Y-you t-talk?! H-how?! Where am I?! How is this possible?!" he rose with his voice, making sure to stand as far away from us bears as possible. I felt Aoka's fist clench my fur. I moved so she would face her fears and so the human would not act so afraid.

The human's eyes moved from me to Aoka, recognition forming in his eyes. "You… you're human! I thought I was teleported to some crazy-animal-talking-world with no humans! But you're here! I'm not alone! You can explain right? Did you teach these bears to talk?" I growled at his arrogance. He may supposedly be from another world but he is still arrogant. Humans won't ever change.

"There are many humans here, the Rienvians, and like you, they think they know everything," I said.

"Uh… oh…" he murmured, shrinking into himself as I stepped closer.

Naita stepped forward and said, "Do not be harsh, Naitafon." She looked at the human. "I am Naita and since my partner and I joined, he is now Naitafon. Do not be afraid. Naitafon has no love for humans, but he is still a kind and gentle bear. This human child cannot speak," she continued, motioning to Aoka. "We found her in front of our cave when an unloving human abandoned her. Her name is Aoka, which means Bear Child."

"Bear Child?! That's what I heard! Someone said the Bear Child's waiting! That's her?!" The human stared. "This can't be real… can it?" he asked. His shoulders slumped when we didn't answer. Aoka poked my side and made hand gestures. I told the human, "She asks what your name is." He blinked. "Oh, uh… Gabriel. Gabriel Forest," he said still afraid of me. Aoka's eyes brightened and she smiled. She pointed at the trees outside. The human Gabriel looked out the cave and muttered, "Uh, yeah. Forest. Yeah. That's my last name." Aoka frowned and tilted her head. Gabriel looked sideways.

At that moment, Frein, our messenger squirrel, ran in and squeaked, "Some Rienvians are nearing the forest! About fifty odd ones!" My eyes widened.

"Who leads them?!" I asked.

"Kovaan! I think he's after Aoka again!" Despite the danger, Frein's excitement made his speech somewhat hard to understand. "He also has… a girl with him. I think it's the girl!"

I groaned. Gabriel came up slowly and murmured, "What girl?" Frein's astonishment would have made me laugh but for the current situation, I explained to him who Gabriel was and where he came from.

"But… that means…," Frein groaned. I nodded.

"Frein. Go to all the elite forces we have waiting. Keep them hidden until the humans come closer. Tell them not to attack until I say so," I ordered. "Come with me," I said gruffly to Gabriel.

He looked terrified by my request. I walked to the back of our cave. All that was in the cave were moss and twigs, serving as our beds. At the end though, was a chest, rust claiming the metal.

I told him to open the chest when he joined me. I had nearly forgotten it, until now. He struggled to open it, then the rusty hinges slowly creaked open. I motioned for him to take its contents out. He reached his hand in and pulled out the Sword. "That was the sword of the Old King of Rienvia, Makaan. Unlike his son, he respected us forest dwellers," I explained, wishing Naita had to explain it to him, not me.

"What happened to him?" the boy asked staring at the sword and forgetting his fear. I let out a sigh.

"His son, the current king, accused him of treachery. The law stated that even the king is not protected against the law. He was sent to the gallows. I told some of the fastest hares and deer to recover the body for a proper burial.

"He was barely alive when they brought him here. The fiend didn't even do the execution properly!" I sighed, staring off. "His last words were about a prophecy, where your coming was foretold. I believe you came to save us." Gabriel stared at me with his mouth hanging open. He looked from the sword and then to me.

"I-I… you expect me to use this?! I don't know how!! I'm part of the prophecy?! I was ripped out of my world for a damn fairy tale prophecy?!" he stared at me, waiting for a better explanation. I simply nodded.
Related content
Comments: 24

Roxy-Inkheart [2011-06-22 18:19:05 +0000 UTC]

So far I like it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to Roxy-Inkheart [2011-06-23 14:02:23 +0000 UTC]

Thanks a bunch!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

trifle-confusion [2011-06-21 14:04:59 +0000 UTC]

this is amazing!! I've heard so much about this story already and now I finally get to read the first chapter
I wanna read more!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to trifle-confusion [2011-06-21 14:30:59 +0000 UTC]

Thanks a bunch!
I'm glad you like it!
Thank you so much for reading!
I'll probly only upload one more chapter

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

trifle-confusion In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-22 12:19:15 +0000 UTC]

only one more!?
well when you're ready to sell it, you should tell us where we can buy it
...
you are gonna sell it rite? rite?!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to trifle-confusion [2011-06-22 14:30:10 +0000 UTC]

Yeah.. I don't want to give too much away online.
But yeah, I will definately try to publish it, and I would be insane not to tell all of you.
You all have given me a lot of motivation to write!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Horrorshow1313 [2011-06-20 15:03:30 +0000 UTC]

awsome!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to Horrorshow1313 [2011-06-20 15:13:48 +0000 UTC]

Awww, thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-19 05:29:32 +0000 UTC]

I can't wait for more! I think I told you a lot before? If not, then now I'll talk about the stuff I like and not harping on the mistakes.

The King is awesome! Which one? Well, both of them!

I think they sound like kids!
I googled up some pointers, so I hope they help?
[link]
(from that link, someone said: "Bill Watterson always managed to write children with alarming accuracy without making them stupid or nonsensical. I think the way he once put it (and I paraphrase) was that he inserted every immature thought that he’d ever had. I always thought that that was excellent advice for figuring out kids."
[link]
(Scroll down the the journal entries)

[link]
I see kids a lot at the vets, and I can give you some help with them?
This one boy I saw was very worried about his cat. He asked if he would be allowed to pet the cat since the cat was hurt/sick and needed medicine, and he asked his mother if the cat would be annoyed with him, or something similar! It was cute, and kinda sad.
Young girls around Rachel's age like to be the "center" of things, for the most part. You know those mary sue stories where the main character does something, and everyone is in awe? That's kinda what they "want". They kinda want to be recognized and to contribute. When I observed at the vets, the little kids (mostly girls) would talk a lot and give out little "useless" tidbits of information about their pet. I remember doing that too, and it was so we could contribute a bit of information and be on level with the "grown ups".

Remember working with the kids in the Jenna Foundation? I think they were around that age. When my boy cousins were that age, they liked making toilet jokes. If someone farted, or said "fart", "pee", "poop" or anything, then it was hilarious. If a dog pooped, it was hilarious. My cousin went up to his teacher one year and said "your little devil is here!"

Sorry for the rambling! I wish I could babysit kids more. Oh! And kids call people friends easily. If you played with them once or twice, then they say you're their friend and stuff!


But, yeah. Sorry for rambling!


....

I didn't notice this, I'm so sorry.
"
"He was barely alive when they brought him here. The fiend didn't even do the execution properly!""
The fiend didn't even do the execution properly!"
The fiend didn't even do
didn't
Naitafon shortened his words!! Sorry!

For some reason, I started hearing Naitafon's voice as Sean Connery's as Draco.

It's so weird seeing these characters like this after seeing what happens to them by the end!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-20 14:56:46 +0000 UTC]

It's all good to harp on the mistakes. It helps.

I think I wanna find a meme or something and put both king's in it or something. Maybe they have a King Meme

Sorry, some of them were just mad cute and funny! thanks for that it helped!

That's so true about the girls.... I was trying to fix rachel a bit (when she wanted to be a mage/more important of something). Thank a bunch!

that's so true!! I remeber flipping out evertime that happened!!

OhhhhhhH!!!!! For a second I was tryiong to figure out the typo!! It's all good, I totally missed that too! I shall fix!

Hey.... that sould work....

HEY!! Stop laughing it's not funny!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WolfPawDragonClaw In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-20 15:12:05 +0000 UTC]

"That's so true about the girls.... I was trying to fix rachel a bit (when she wanted to be a mage/more important of something). Thank a bunch! "
Maybe change it so that she wants to be a princess (what girl doesn't?) but who has a lot of magic powers, and Gabriel says no, because that would make the princess the hero, and not him?

Okay!



Why? It is funny!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-20 15:14:52 +0000 UTC]

Yes!!! Thank you!!



Okay!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WolfPawDragonClaw In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-20 16:38:35 +0000 UTC]

Might add to Xaena's desire to be just as good as the boys?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RobotsWithCookies In reply to WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-21 15:02:48 +0000 UTC]

Very true, thanks a bunch!

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WolfPawDragonClaw In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-21 15:24:41 +0000 UTC]

Like...if she keeps being "repressed" as a kid AND when she gets older, it might make her leap at the chance to be useful to SOMEONE (even if it is some crazy old man...).


Maybe?

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RobotsWithCookies In reply to WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-21 16:23:27 +0000 UTC]

Crazy old man...

Yeah that will work!

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WolfPawDragonClaw In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-21 16:30:01 +0000 UTC]



Yay!

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RobotsWithCookies In reply to WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-21 17:00:07 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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WolfPawDragonClaw In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-21 18:37:17 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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RobotsWithCookies In reply to WolfPawDragonClaw [2011-06-21 18:40:08 +0000 UTC]

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Flamingfoxes1 [2011-06-18 20:08:41 +0000 UTC]

really good! i like how you write r u gonna post more?

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RobotsWithCookies In reply to Flamingfoxes1 [2011-06-20 14:46:37 +0000 UTC]

Thanks a bunch! Ummm... probly just gonna re-post the 2nd chapter.

But I was thinking of writing a story type of thing for DA, kinda like how you're doing the zombies story.

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Flamingfoxes1 In reply to RobotsWithCookies [2011-06-20 15:07:25 +0000 UTC]

you totally should! id read it

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RobotsWithCookies In reply to Flamingfoxes1 [2011-06-20 15:09:23 +0000 UTC]

Awesome!

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