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inkypoo1 [2018-06-16 23:40:35 +0000 UTC]

Following on from my critique of your first page, it seems there's lots of room for improvement here! I found it very difficult to follow the character's movement during the first sequence on the page (Panels 4-8), although I gather he's leaping around the environment athletically. I'm not sure if he's supposed to be sticking to a vertical wall in panels 6-7, like Spiderman? The closeup on the hand in panel 7 is good though: with the previous and following panel images it's really clear that he leapt off the wall there into a really huge jump. Although the character is clearly moving in panel 8, the image itself is kind of static. Perhaps the addition of further visual details in the drawing would aid the sense of movement here, like a blurring background or movement lines (such as in panel 9, where it's super-clear that he doing a multiple somersault across rooftops)?

Image composition in panel 10 is really cool, closeup on the target character with the protagonist looming in a deadly manner further into the background. The placement of the highlight in the target character's eye/eyepiece makes it look as though he's looking over his shoulder and at the protagonist however, as if he's heard he's being sneaked up on and is about to react to it - don't know if that how it's supposed to be?

The command room looks like a cool and interesting environment, and the sense of perspective is nicely aided with the addition of the roof lighting in the building - great stuff I want to know what that bendy thing in the background is though XD I wonder if it's an alien character talking with the others beside it, or a piece of lab equipment...

The last three panels took a bit of figuring out at first. I think in the first panel the target character's gun has fallen off the edge of the building, viewed from below, and in the second panel the target character is plummeting off the rooftop, following the gun. It looks a bit like a severed arm at this stage however - I'd turn the character around so that we can see the face, and recognise it more easily as the character being previously stalked. In the final panel the protagonist has cleared the rooftop of enemies

A highly ambitious page, but room for improvement where communicating sequential events to the reader is concerned!

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SynthRox [2018-03-21 23:51:45 +0000 UTC]

That's some intense sketching you got goin on there o-o

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