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RunningOutOfExcuses — Drowned
Published: 2013-05-10 05:03:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 275; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description When I
inhaled sharply
in your presence
I found myself
immersed
in your warmth
and
intoxicated
by your aura.
Every breath I took
suffocated me
until eventually
I had drowned
in you.
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Comments: 3

barelymoving [2013-05-10 12:51:00 +0000 UTC]

I think you should add your caption to the poem and make it look like this
"Every breath I took suffocated me
Until eventually
I had drowned in you"
I think that would be a great ending to the poem

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RunningOutOfExcuses In reply to barelymoving [2013-05-10 14:20:53 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

barelymoving In reply to RunningOutOfExcuses [2013-05-10 14:43:40 +0000 UTC]

of course. the poem seems more complete now if you get what im saying.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0