HOME | DD
RustyMutt — hullo
Published: 2019-10-02 07:27:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 36; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }
Hey guys long time no see I dont even know if anyone still uses this site lol. But ye Im slowly coming back. I'm sorry for disappearing for I think a couple years. I really wasn't in a good mental state and I'm still not even sure how it happened.
I think I just tied too much of my self worth to my own art and it really wasn't good for my mental health. I'm still working on that but it's hard because art was all I ever wanted to do when I "grew up" y'know? Past couple years (or however long it has been since I disappeared I've lost track) was basically spent hating doing art. Which was absolutely terrifying because as I've just mentioned I had associated my own self worth with my art. I dont think I had realized it until last couple months or so. Idk i guess it's just the thought that if my art is trash in my own standards or if I'm not producing art then i am somehow worthless.
I'm trying hard to reverse that thinking and trying to retrain my brain into seeing art as a fun activity and not something that i have to pursue as my "future" if that makes sense. I remember a few months ago I went through my old sketchbooks and I felt like they had a lot more heart to them instead of just scribbles for the sake of producing in my more recent sketches. I really want to find that part of me again.
I'm still a bit of a work in progress at the moment lol but i think this is the best I've felt about myself in a while. I'm sure I'll have some more downs but with it hopefully I'll have a better mindset to deal with it.
Sorry this ended up being a bit of a ramble and spilling of my guts but yeah. I feel extremely guilty for just disappearing without a word as to why but I miss you all very deeply and I hope these past few years have been treating you all well. I will try to overcome my guilt and start talking to you guys again because I love you all very much.
Related content
Comments: 5
I've been really happy to see you posting more on IG and twitter. :'D Keep on trucking and it'll grow! A lot of people come and go for various reasons and if I remember right, you had yours.
I sort of vanished for a while as well and having to re-introduce myself to social media and gain footing again. Especially with all the drama been here on dA the last few years a LOT of people are in your shoes. So please don't depreciate yourself about any of it! You are here now and just do what feels best. Take your time!
But yeah, you aren't your art. Nobody is, so please go easy on yourself.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
aaa thanks ahk (sorry for the extremely late reply lol i've been so busy with my day job)
and yeah it looks like a lot of people aren't active on dA anymore and i wonder where they've all gone. i definitely miss our old group and stuff :c
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Aha no worries. A lot of people left dA when they started the transition to Eclipse. The main issue was they weren't allowing custom boxes anymore, however they just hadn't added the feature yet. As far as I know the feature is present now, if not a little awkward, but there none the less. I bounce between Eclipse and the older dA UI. Some things are still easier the old way, but I'm doing my best to adjust too.
I miss the old group a lot, but a lot of people went their own ways. After the drama with Kep and Jade happened, then Dave going off to college and getting busy himself, Magickie also getting busy and I think was moving, Konvee also went off to college, I was in college senior year, Nuke/Tatchit was in college... I think everyone just got too busy and shit happened. I wish we could get everyone back together, but I'm not sure it would happen honestly. Sad.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
👀💛 (Hi I don’t use this site really at all [atm?] but CRAYAON ILU and brrlieve in you and am proud of you for pushin through and commiting to relearning how to love yourself and your content, and your willing openness in sharin some cliffnotes on what sound like some super srs sad shib struggles. : D3€ //hugs if you want them)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
