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#longpost #ventpost #cuteanimegirl #depressedgirl #depression #ihatemyself #life #meme #personal #suicide #vent #reactionimage #reactionmeme #depressionanxiety
Published: 2017-11-16 03:09:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 1548; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 1
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Long rant by a privileged white girl who is sad ahead. Don't like don't read.like the title implies, today was not really good. I cried really hard and it was embarrassing. College is really nerve wrecking, and I just want to quit. But I have to find another way to support myself or my parents will kick me out. I just hate school. You meet a lot of cool people, granted. But the whole thing is just bullshit and I don't want to deal with it anymore. My best friend was suffering. I won't say why, because of privacy reasons, but it was really scary. It felt like walking on egg shells, I could say one wrong thing to her and she could have a heart attack for all I know. I wanted to be strong for her. She's been there for me and when I was suffering for five years. She's like the big supportive sister I never got, and seeing her in pain and feeling completely useless was very scary. She's alright now though. And to pour more salt in the wound, she had to deal with me being whiny while she had legitament issues on her hands. To make a long story short, I got a zero on a school project I worked very hard on. I wanted to shrug it off and be like "whateves" I'll do better. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to just kill myself. I ended up going to my best friend crying my goddamn eyes out and my face covered in snot. She had to comfort me in a way I never could with her. I felt really alone, I felt like a burden on everyone, I feel like I let people down. I'm not depressed because I got a bad grade. I feel depressed because I'm not recognized. I feel depressed because I make these idiotic decisions, and when I am faced with consequences, my mind wishes to crawl in a hole to escape the anxieties of living. If you have been following me for a long time, and you see me saying things like "I want to kill myself," whether I'm being legit depressed or I'm being dank and edgy; it should be perfectly clear to you that I'm not gonna go through with. Because I'm a coward and I don't want to participate in the gamble that it the "afterlife" When I feel like I'm useless, or I'm not being recognized I feel like I'm better off dead. A way that I could both be recognized and useful, is to become a reaction image of a cute anime girl for neck-beard edgelords to use on reddit or 4-chan. What I'm saying is I want to be an internet meme. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. I think it's fair to say we all want a purpose in life, we all want to be recognized. It's a very relatable desire to humanity. I see these reaction pictures of cute anime girls, some from animes I watched, some are art by obscure artist. But they are not only cute but they serve a purpose and they make others happy. I wish to be all three of these things. Not to be dead, but to be recognized. I think the reason I bring up suicide wen I'm overly dramatic is because I get off the fact that people might think about me being dead. Then they'd have no choice but to recognize me. But since I've used the suicide card all too often, the shock is kinda gone. (Disclaimer: I'm not a role model, please to not threaten your life if you feel depressed, thank you) So yeah that's the reason I made this reaction image. Just like all my other reaction images, you can use them if you want, you don't have to ask permission. But at the end of the day this is just vent art plain and simple. God, I'm so down, not even thiefshipping, nor my senpais are making me happy. That's how you know I'm REALLY depressed. I'm not a machine, I make mistakes, sometimes the world will just fuck you, and you can't do anything about that. These are things I just need to accept. If only I had a fairy wish prince to appear before me and let me pinch his arse (This is how I cheer myself up. If I can't be a meme I'll drown myself in memes) Oh well. I'm really tired. So I think I'll cry myself to sleep while listening to vaporwave. BYYEEEE
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Comments: 14
Chuckphi [2021-05-09 22:30:28 +0000 UTC]
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Rinfantasy [2017-11-16 21:11:17 +0000 UTC]
Sorry, I don't know what to say because I don't want to make an irresponsible remark and give more harm than good... //HUG//
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
s0s0chan In reply to Rinfantasy [2017-11-17 23:35:34 +0000 UTC]
it's quite fine! ^^ I'm very hard to offend so don't worry~ Thank you for the kind comments though~
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wkeeble12 In reply to s0s0chan [2017-11-16 03:31:33 +0000 UTC]
sorry i meant why would she say that......i got carried away....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
s0s0chan In reply to wkeeble12 [2017-11-16 03:40:32 +0000 UTC]
no it's fine. ^^ That's basically me, my persona. I just had a bad day today, and this is just how I vent ;;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
wkeeble12 In reply to s0s0chan [2017-11-16 05:34:09 +0000 UTC]
well people have a bad day....soon your day will get better, like maybe tomorrow or just around the corner......
it always does including it does for me....i had a lot bad times......but they got better.....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
s0s0chan In reply to wkeeble12 [2017-11-17 23:36:13 +0000 UTC]
I'll keep that in mind! Thank you for the uplifting advice~
👍: 0 ⏩: 0