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SherlockedHazza β€” EnglandxReader ~ Harry Potter Pick-Up Lines...
Published: 2013-07-28 23:54:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 33811; Favourites: 765; Downloads: 16
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Description Arthur watched as you scribbled notes onto your yellow sheet of paper. He sighed dreamily as his eyes trailed down your long locks of (h/c) hair that hid your gorgeous face. Your right leg was crossed over your left one, completely unaware of the Brit who was admiring you from the back of the classroom.

Your teacher's words were just a bunch of blah blah blah's to his ears, because all of his attention right now was focused on you. Arthur has had the biggest crush on you since 4th grade, although you never seemed to have noticed. You guys weren't close friends but you weren't strangers to one another either. You'd occasionally greet him in the morning before class and he'd always greet you back, happy that his crush knows of his existence.

As the young blond quickly realized that he had been staring at your form instead of focusing on the class that was currently going on, he shook the daydreams away from his head and brought his attention back to his own blank sheet of paper. He sighed annoyingly and began to write down a few things, struggling to keep up with the rest of the students. Although he couldn't help but lift his eyes one last time in your direction. God, why'd you have to be so amazing?

"Hey, Artie! Pssss! Arthur!" Whispered Alfred from beside. He tried getting the Brit's attention by waving his hand in front of his face, although that didn't seem to work out.

"Dude! Pay attention to me, will you?" The loud American pouted and huffed angrily. He narrowed his eyes before looking to where Arthur was staring at. His baby blue orbs landed on you. He smirked deviously before poking his friend right in the cheek.

"You having fun staring at __________, buddy?" Arthur's cheeks quickly turned rosy pink and he shot the biggest death glare at Alfred, who felt quite proud of himself at the moment.

"Wanker, who said I was staring at her?"

"Nobody. But you obviously like her!" He laughed.

"QUIET!" Barked the nasty teacher from the front of the class. The two boys mouthed a sorry before looking down to their papers. It was silent between them for another 3 minutes.

"I can help you." Whispered Alfred, quietly.

"W-With what?" Stuttered Arthur.

"With _________, silly. I'm a pro when it comes to girls! Come on, let me help." The blond hesitated for a few moments before sighing in defeat.

"Alright. You can help me."

~

"Okay! So first of all, you have to start a conversation with her if you want to ask her out on a date. You can't just come up to her and blurt out Do you want to go out with me? because then she'll think you're weird and never speak to you again!"

The two boys were currently at Alfred's house, trying to figure out a plan on how to ask you out on a date. Arthur couldn't even remember why he had agreed on letting the obnoxious American helping him. But if it meant getting closer to you, he was ready to do absolutely anything.

After hearing Alfred's first step to his Master Plan, the Brit sighed and nodded impatiently.

"So, how do you want me to start a conversation with her?"

"Easy! Use a pick-up line!" Arthur froze as the words pick-up and line escaped his mouth.

"Absolutely not! I refuse to do such a thing! I don't need a-"

"Artie, before you start insulting me, think about all of the girls I've dated in the past year. I used pick-up lines on every single one of them. How can this possibly go wrong?" Alfred squeezed his eyes shut as a large smile spread across his face. Arthur grunted, mumbled a few words under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine. Tell me what you got." The American smirked and clapped his hands together.

"I used to date one of ________'s best friends 6 months ago and I remember her telling me that _________ was a HUGE Harry Potter fan. And I think I know how to make you win her heart. So, this is what we're going to do..."

~

Arthur kept on fiddling with his cue cards as he nervously looked around the student filled parking lot. Alfred had come up with a few Harry Potter related pick-up lines last night and had written them down on a few sheets of loose paper in case Arthur ever forgot them while saying them to you. Now he was waiting for you next to your car and his chest felt like if it was about to explode at any second. His breathing quickened and he pinched his lips together.

What if you started laughing in his face? Or worse! What if you slapped him right across the cheek? Would you hate him after this?

He was so focused on his panicked thoughts that he didn't even notice you arrive next to him.

"Hey, Arthur! What are you doing here?" You greeted him happily, a bright smile plastered across your face and eyes shining with life. He had to swallow hard in order to regain his courage to talk to you normally.

"H-Hey, ________... Uh, I just came here to tell you something important..." You raised an eyebrow and leaned on the hood of your car.

"Oh? What is it?" Arthur blushed and looked down shyly. He was maybe a gentleman, but talking to cute girls was a real challenge for him. He brought the cue cards up to his face and breathed in one last time before reading them out loud to you.

"Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready." Both of your eyes widened as the words left his mouth. Alfred never told him what he had written on these sheets of paper, so he was just as surprised as you were.

"W-What?" You stuttered, unsure of how to react to that. Arthur blushed an even deeper red and looked through the other pick-up lines.

"N-No! What I meant was... You don't even have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on!" He facepalmed and you just stared, bewildered. He tried another line.

"You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone!" Your jaw dropped along with the bag you were holding. Arthur's frustration was beginning to make surface.

THAT BLOODY GIT OF AN AMERICAN! HE PUT THE WRONG PICK-UP LINES! I'LL BEAT THAT WANKER TO A PULP THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM!

"I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?"

"Do you want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own."

"I wanna stick my half-blood prince inside your chamber of secrets, and release the prisoner of Azkaban to give you the deathly hallows!" Arthur crumpled the paper up and tossed it away violently. Now he was sure you were going to hate him. Everything he had just said to you was just utterly inappropriate. The Brit let his head hang loose as he waited for you to smack him at any moment. But you never did.

No. Instead you were sent to the ground, laughing like a madwoman. Arthur watched in confusion as you clutched your stomach and let tears flow freely from your eyes. When you got back up to your feet, you swung your bag over your shoulder and patted him on the shoulder.

"Those were the worst yet funniest pick-up lines I've ever heard. How did you know I love Harry Potter?" Arthur stared at you in amazement for a second before chuckling nervously.

"I guess... I just knew?" You smiled and pulled a piece of paper out from your pocket. You wrote a few numbers down before handing it to Arthur.

"You're actually pretty cute. Here's my number. We should hang out some time!" You chirped happily as you got into your car. Arthur smiled as he watched you drive away from the school. His green eyes looked down to the paper he was holding and scanned in.

(insert meaningless numbers here aka a random phone number)

You must be magical, because I think I've fallen under your spell.

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle at the last tine. He clutched it to his chest before walking back to his own car that was on the other side of the lot.

He was definitely going to call you tonight.

~

Alfred watched as the Brit skipped back to his car in a lovestruck manner. He lowered his binoculars before fist pumping the air in pure victory. He had just witnessed the whole scene and was glad all worked out well.

"And Alfred F. Jones strikes again!"
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Comments: 331

onceuponatime2015 [2016-03-22 03:14:17 +0000 UTC]

If I weren't Harry Potter fan then I would have read this without blushing.......


Unfortunately after reading the books 25 times and seeing the movies like 50 times.......




I understood more than I needed to....



GREAT STORY BTW!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

LittleMissEllieElric [2015-07-12 21:51:46 +0000 UTC]

Genius Al strikes again!
(Insanitalia and whoelse..?)

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

NeonBrightDevil9 [2015-07-05 03:59:56 +0000 UTC]

Im a fan a doctor who so if u did doctor who pick up lines id so favorite it :3

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

phoenixjewls [2015-06-06 18:32:02 +0000 UTC]

Alfred is such a jokester. Though I loved the pickup lines

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

hetaliafangirl01 [2015-05-29 02:15:50 +0000 UTC]

i only seen the 1st movie but it was still awesome~^^i would luv 2 c iggy use pick up lines on me, bu of course I'm kuudere so i'd prob just crack a smile and shake my head *sweat drop*

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

OrphanMeatDragon2 [2015-05-08 02:51:36 +0000 UTC]

If Arthur used a Percy Jackson pick up line, I'd be like:
"Marry me now…"

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 3

TheHetaliaDemigodess In reply to OrphanMeatDragon2 [2015-06-05 17:08:33 +0000 UTC]

YES PJO FOR THE WIN. My favourite PJ pick up line is "You set my heart on fire"~Leo Valdez

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

OrphanMeatDragon2 In reply to TheHetaliaDemigodess [2015-06-09 20:05:38 +0000 UTC]

My personal favorite is
"Every time in see you, my pen turns into a sword"
πŸ˜‰

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

LionsStoleMyCookies In reply to OrphanMeatDragon2 [2015-05-13 04:45:14 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha XD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

OrphanMeatDragon2 In reply to OrphanMeatDragon2 [2015-05-08 02:55:17 +0000 UTC]

My personal favorite for P.J. Lines is this:
"When I see you, my pen turns into a sword."
It's funny lolβœ’οΈ

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

hetaliapastagirl6 [2015-04-24 01:01:05 +0000 UTC]

me when Arthur was reading the Pick-up lines

Β  Β 

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sparklerthesableye [2015-04-08 03:08:42 +0000 UTC]

*sees title*
*favorites*

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Wolfsoul36 [2015-03-19 00:32:30 +0000 UTC]

You should do America x reader with 'Legend of Korra' cue cards.

Β I Will love you forever.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

EnglandXIII [2015-03-12 21:10:45 +0000 UTC]

I nearly died of laughter at the pick-up lines. They really were the funniest I've ever heard!Β 
Β  Β <-(my main reaction)Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

KittyKatGoesRAWR [2015-03-08 18:38:22 +0000 UTC]

Friend sent this to me, laughed my arse off. Favoriting haha.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Dragonseekeerhawke [2014-11-29 15:51:35 +0000 UTC]

Laughing like a maniac with my bro looking at me strangely hehehehe

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

gabiatchley315 In reply to Dragonseekeerhawke [2014-12-27 22:43:27 +0000 UTC]

Lol me too

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

animelover9890 [2014-11-13 00:15:32 +0000 UTC]

That was just HILARIOUS!!! I couldn't stop laughing after reading this but I managed lol XDΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

EnglandXIII In reply to animelover9890 [2015-03-12 21:13:41 +0000 UTC]

you managed to stop? I'm still laughing my arse off!

(I don't even know how I'm typing whilst laughing this hard)

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

animelover9890 In reply to EnglandXIII [2015-03-12 22:34:44 +0000 UTC]

I reread the story just now and I'm having trouble stopping my laughter! My siblings are looking at me weirdly probably thinking something is wrong with me XD XDΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

EnglandXIII In reply to animelover9890 [2015-03-17 17:28:56 +0000 UTC]

my mother thinks I'm insane from my laughter. I think she has a point, and not just about my laughing like loon.
Β  Β  Β  (I read the pick up lines again just now. I can't stop laughing.)

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

animelover9890 In reply to EnglandXIII [2015-03-18 13:09:49 +0000 UTC]

XD XD XD Now I know that if I want to have a good laugh I'll just read these pick up lines again XDΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

ScarletandLunaRcool [2014-11-09 09:26:00 +0000 UTC]

Extended ending:

Arthur hears Alfred and says, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU GIT" and freaks out as Alfred just laughs his ass off XD His douchey American ass

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

123456yazy [2014-10-19 06:05:09 +0000 UTC]

OH MY GOD HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

how did you know imsuch a Harry Potter freak?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

AleElricHarmonia [2014-10-18 08:48:43 +0000 UTC]

I actually don't like Harry Potter but this was awesome xD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MyDepictionOfFiction [2014-10-17 18:21:07 +0000 UTC]

I was laughing, as my sister put it , like "Elmo on Crack"

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

asianturnip [2014-09-22 06:41:29 +0000 UTC]

I was reading this while my friends were over and they thought I was high when they saw me laughing on the floor^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

khlover-san [2014-09-15 05:23:46 +0000 UTC]

Being a Harry potter fangirl I have never ever heard if these and when England used them it took all my power to not die laughing great job!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

cballard199 [2014-08-12 07:11:07 +0000 UTC]

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing to loud and waking my family!!!!!πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ bravo!!!!!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

HeroineOfAlbion [2014-08-02 15:42:33 +0000 UTC]

Should have used :

Going to bed? Can I Slytherin with you?

Nevertheless i laughed so hard i nearly died

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

1Bon2BON [2014-07-25 21:49:55 +0000 UTC]

Are you the maraulders map? because i solemly swear that i am up to no good...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Ray711 [2014-07-23 06:49:07 +0000 UTC]

If a guy were to use those on me, I'd be like:
Did you know I'm related to Luna? Cuz I sure can Lovegood
And just see what he would say!!!! Damn. Now I want a guy to say that too me... Meh. I KNOW I'm forever alone. And I'm fine with it! Cuz I have my Artie!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Anne-who [2014-07-16 07:26:23 +0000 UTC]

Dammit! It is just so brilliant! (And awesome) I'm just on love with Harry Potter. If a guy actually used those on me I'll probably die laughing before the date but whatever XD nice writing, please, keep doing it

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

ChrissylovesANIME4 [2014-07-12 00:51:25 +0000 UTC]

XD I thought it was so cute.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Bloodhoundgal101 [2014-04-26 07:07:10 +0000 UTC]

hOly Harry potter.Β 

Before he finishes ill be like.
" Hey pick up lines don't work on me just a gentleman like you"Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

NoireDelacroix [2014-04-07 03:27:28 +0000 UTC]

XD I love Harry Potter! If someone said that to me, I'd die laughing and rolling on the floor.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Stitches-The-Stabber [2014-04-02 06:02:20 +0000 UTC]

I was drinking something, Β and when Β I readΒ "I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?" I almost choked.Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

SoulEvans12 [2014-03-01 18:47:11 +0000 UTC]

"And Alfred F. Jones strikes again!"


LOL!! And I LOVED those pick-up lines! I'mΒ surprised you didn'tΒ use "Did you know I'm aΒ Slytherin. SO you should let me slytherin to you." Because i've heard that oneΒ plenty of times, even though it wasnt directly said to me, cause Im forever alone Β Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

asuri-san [2014-02-21 16:48:18 +0000 UTC]

Oh my.Β  Β This was so funny, I couldn't stop laughingΒ Β .

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Xsign-of-fireX [2014-02-21 02:45:56 +0000 UTC]

OH my god friggen Al you li'l dork. Oh my gosh. Artie, how did you even fall for that?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

lettheworldbreath [2014-01-14 02:03:51 +0000 UTC]

Ohmaigawd..... those pick-up lines! Did you make them up or get them from the internet or friend or a mad magazine?! That was AWESOME!!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

FLUFFY-KITTENS-YAY [2014-01-10 09:33:50 +0000 UTC]

That last pick-up line though!! I was holding in my laughter so much that it hurt!!! I love Harry Potter and Arthur!! I love it!! XD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

skittlesxnom [2014-01-04 04:05:03 +0000 UTC]

SENPAI NOTICED ME~~~~~~~~~

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Videogirl529 [2013-12-31 16:14:25 +0000 UTC]

Β Magical...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

NyanGirShadow [2013-12-07 05:11:35 +0000 UTC]

*tries to hold back a laugh*


. . .


*fails miserably*

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

namxlxss [2013-12-07 00:40:26 +0000 UTC]

OH GOSH! HOLY CRAPOLA!!!! Hahahaha!!! Alfred! XD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Twilightjoy [2013-12-05 23:13:14 +0000 UTC]

XD OMG, I'm dying from laughter!!! I got a pick-up line me and my friends made!!!

*ahem* Are you from Hogwarts? Cuz you can hog my warts~ *insert pervy face here*

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SherlockedHazza In reply to Twilightjoy [2013-12-05 23:58:47 +0000 UTC]

aahahahahahahaha

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Twilightjoy In reply to SherlockedHazza [2013-12-06 00:06:00 +0000 UTC]

Β Me and my friends were just being random and POOF~

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

haleyboplucy [2013-12-03 22:57:16 +0000 UTC]

As soon as you said magic i was like yay Harry Potter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its funny, some of my friends call me Haley Potter because between fans, harrys female name to some is Haley Potter and to others its Harriet Potter. I personally like Haley Potter better and not only because its my name. Plus my friends call me that bbecause my room isnt even a room, its really supposed to be a storage closet. I live in a closet. Coincidence i think not.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0


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