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It's hard to imagine that someone like Irwin would be happy in a conventional heaven, so I will assume that somewhere, there is a vast mudpit in the sky full of grumpy crocodiles that need their toenails trimmed.
      -Ursula Vernon, 9/4/06

“Look, mate, there's gotta be some mistake.  Losing your life to a stingray is pretty bloody rare, I'm telling ya.” the sandy haired man said to the seraph at Heaven's gates.

“Nevertheless, you managed it,” Garkitiel told him sternly.  “Our only surprise is that it didn't occur sooner.  At any rate, you should be thankful that you managed to reach your Destiny, instead of your Fate.  I imagine Prince Kobal was looking forward to speaking to you personally.”

“Oh bugger, I'm glad i missed that then.  I heard a couple of those big stroppy fellas with the black wings chattin' about him while I was waiting in line.”  The man ran a hand through his hair.  “So what do I now?”

“Well, now we must determine which of Heaven's realms you'd be most suited dwell in,” Gark told him.  “Now, given your abhorrence towards injuring animals, I'm sure Flowers would be certainly be an attractive...”

“He is ours,” a body with a dozen mouths said, manifesting over the man's head.

“Oh, crikey!  What are you?” the man exclaimed.

“Lord Jordi!”  Garkl swallowed and regained his composure.  “Milord, I'm sure you have... many reasons... to talk to this man.  However, I must remind you that he did manage to achieve his Destiny...”

“And he will serve in Our realm,” Jordi stated flatly.

“But, Milord, he's human.”

The man yanked briefly on the seraph's tail.  “Oi!  Who's this fellow?”

Gark focused a pair of eyes back on his charge.  “Lord Jordi, Archangel of Animals.”

“Oh, that's apples then!  I'll go with him.”

“Then come,” Jordi said.

“But, milord!  The last human you let into the Vale was St. Francis of Assisi!  Why do you want this man?”

Jordi growled.  “It is not my choice.  They keep asking for him, down by the Watering Hole.”

Description
It's hard to imagine that someone like Irwin would be happy in a conventional heaven, so I will assume that somewhere, there is a vast mudpit in the sky full of grumpy crocodiles that need their toenails trimmed.
      -Ursula Vernon, 9/4/06

“Look, mate, there's gotta be some mistake.  Losing your life to a stingray is pretty bloody rare, I'm telling ya.” the sandy haired man said to the seraph at Heaven's gates.

“Nevertheless, you managed it,” Garkitiel told him sternly.  “Our only surprise is that it didn't occur sooner.  At any rate, you should be thankful that you managed to reach your Destiny, instead of your Fate.  I imagine Prince Kobal was looking forward to speaking to you personally.”

“Oh bugger, I'm glad i missed that then.  I heard a couple of those big stroppy fellas with the black wings chattin' about him while I was waiting in line.”  The man ran a hand through his hair.  “So what do I now?”

“Well, now we must determine which of Heaven's realms you'd be most suited dwell in,” Gark told him.  “Now, given your abhorrence towards injuring animals, I'm sure Flowers would be certainly be an attractive...”

“He is ours,” a body with a dozen mouths said, manifesting over the man's head.

“Oh, crikey!  What are you?” the man exclaimed.

“Lord Jordi!”  Garkl swallowed and regained his composure.  “Milord, I'm sure you have... many reasons... to talk to this man.  However, I must remind you that he did manage to achieve his Destiny...”

“And he will serve in Our realm,” Jordi stated flatly.

“But, Milord, he's human.”

The man yanked briefly on the seraph's tail.  “Oi!  Who's this fellow?”

Gark focused a pair of eyes back on his charge.  “Lord Jordi, Archangel of Animals.”

“Oh, that's apples then!  I'll go with him.”

“Then come,” Jordi said.

“But, milord!  The last human you let into the Vale was St. Francis of Assisi!  Why do you want this man?”

Jordi growled.  “It is not my choice.  They keep asking for him, down by the Watering Hole.”