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spacesuitcatalyst — hexabromocyclodecane by
Published: 2007-07-07 20:17:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 461; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 6
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Description guns pour down
    just               like
   overloaded prognosis

as the clouds disappear and I am left with bluesky.

     (    look           at            my hair now,
                    it's a      dirty        little    wig.
  and      my          plexiglass  mask     has a crack down the side   )

( I said : "I'll build you a better chair, where you can sit and burn down buildings")
(and you said: "fine, whatever, I'll sit here and eat paint."     )

and I burn you down like bonfires
as you sit and eat chamberglass.

and I know you've been friends with doves
for              quite some time now

but what eludes me is how you deny it.       
  

     and the            fact is
                you learn to be indifferent.


    so stop screaming "HARK!" at the first sign of a bonfire

(     you said "look here, dear, the sun is setting"
                         I said
            "I'll cover you with wax and wait for your soul to fall out."
                                              but the fact is, that won't do, you're flameproof.
                       covered in Hexabromocyclododecane      )

so    stop     learning to write letters
           the    ink   only smears
(   and ends up
                  streaked across the bathroom wall   )


                           it's          starting
                                   to               appear
                        as    if      the         sun       is runningoutofgas
               becuase                                you   shake     when         it rises,
                                 and faint      when it sets.
     and that burning little ball of gas,   doesn't look so bright any more.  
                         
                            ---  (   covered      in
                                             Hexabromocyclododecane  )

(    AND IN A FIT OF FRENZY, YOU SAID
                    "look here, dear, the sun is rising"
                               andIsaid:
                "I realize that the time is right, but right now I'm nowhere and the stars will always be there"  )

and so     I          
               coveredyouinwax
and             burnt           you        down         like        rainforests,

                       hoping      for        a          soul         to           fall out




but   all      that         I        
                                got
                                      was
                                            Hexabromocyclododecane



SOMETIMES, I WONDER   -
                           why my window is transparent instead of opaque.


           becuase        IT OVERLOOKS THE POOL IN MY NEIGHBOR'S YARD.
                            and i've always been aquaphobic, ever since the 14th of June


   and  I      drink    cyanide with my red wine
                                                 (most of the time)

                  but   tonight that's failing


        and  all    I have
                           to     sooth    my brain
          is a tiny bottle of hexabromocyclodecane.
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Comments: 6

quizzrevue [2008-09-14 22:52:06 +0000 UTC]

That broke my brain.
Too much awesome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Lalamags [2008-01-15 00:28:01 +0000 UTC]

I must admit that I don't understand it very well, but I thought it was great and fun to read. ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KawaiiJillian [2007-07-09 14:14:34 +0000 UTC]

bravo.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

tetrarchangel [2007-07-07 21:23:27 +0000 UTC]

This is a work of inspiration and originality.
The very tagline, the eponymous hexabromocyclododecane provides a curiosity, and a metaphor.
I don't believe the unusual spacing is necessary, though it does resemble the chaotic domestic surrealism of Summer With Monika, but the fusion of words like 'bluesky' is an effective technique, and the narrative nature of the poem is excellent - a veiled dialogue and a back story - it's a prose poem caught in great articulacy.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

spacesuitcatalyst In reply to tetrarchangel [2007-07-08 03:45:20 +0000 UTC]

Thanks . Might I add as well that your very comment is a work of art in itself. It sounds like something I'd read in a book review, especially the last line.

I'd hate to give it away (I had meant to leave it up to the reader to discover), but Hexabromocyclododecane is actually a real chemical, commonly used to fireproof material. Nonetheless, I did attempt (and judging by your opinion, succeeded) to use it as a strong, central metaphor.

The unusual spacing is meant to skitter-skatter around the page like the thoughts of the narrator, to give a sense of confusion, thought, rhythm, and yes, in way, surrealism. And while I admit that I may have overdone it at times, I feel that much of it is necessary. Remove the spacing and, to me, the poem ends up a lot less interesting.

I'm not familiar with "Summer With Monica", and the Wikipedia entry isn't helping. Care to explain?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tetrarchangel In reply to spacesuitcatalyst [2007-07-12 16:31:01 +0000 UTC]

Thank you and a pleasure.

I believe in words as their own form in poetry, and anything on top, rhyme, lines, enjambement, etc., but that is an artistic standpoint. Summer with Monika is an extended poem by Roger McGough (filmed by Ingmar Bergman), and turns his surrealist children's writing into surrealist bleak adult relationship falling apart.

I looked up HBCD on wikipedia pretty much straight away - apparently its very useful. How did you come across it? I used organic chemistry briefly in a poem: [link]
But not relating the chemistry to the poem. It's something I'm going to think about.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0