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Published: 2008-08-04 18:55:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 479; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 4
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"i am the earth,and you are the air,
and all the rest
is really just bullshit"
"i was the sun
and you were an ocean
and i crawled, from
your bed, and i scrawled,
a letter on your eyelids,
until i lost my name,
until i lost everything.
now then, what do you
think of that?"
"our hearts, our heads, our
brains, our feet, our legs,
our hands, they are all
just machines, because
i used to watch the moon
fall into the skyline
under the flickering
streetlamps, lit, lighting
the asphalt below
where all the people
waved and screamed
and shouted and
whispered condolences
(i could never spell my own name
not even on the first day
not even in the last)"
the light,
streams in
through the cracks
in your skeleton
and the floorboards
and the wall
and the windows;spiderwebs;remnants of
better things
and the numbers
the math; the algebra
can't explain
the way you write your name
on my eyelids
in the dark
in crooked
and angular strokes
"you shouldn't do this to yourself,
it's all just temporary
anyway, and regardless of
the depth of your speech,
you will never be able to tell me these things
that you always wanted to
because you could never spell your own name,
you could never do a thing"
"i'll never be a winner,
i'll always be a sinner.
but either way,
it's the same,
the streetlights will always flicker,
and i will never sleep,
and i will always miss you,
always always miss you,
and you will never see me as
i trip over my own speech"
"you're comatose,
and still you stutter,
in poetry, in verse, in meter, in rhyme,
and you fell,
a whisper,
and moved backwards because
i was the earth
and you were the air
and we were together
and your name was the same
and the streetlights they flicker,
in poetry, in verse, in meter, in rhyme,
a morse code moratorium
(the lights in here are getting darker)
what happened
to those words
because i was the earth,
and you were the air,
and we were the atmosphere
and we floated away
now, then, what do you say to that?"
your face was in the mirror,
reflected, reversed
"I'll never know a thing"
and in that moment
that you saw the sky
you finally
finally
awoke.
"sometimes i wish
that all of the stars in the sky
would disappear for just a moment
so i could stare
upwards and just
float
away
now then, what do you say to that?"
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Comments: 10
inspiredcreativity [2008-10-18 10:58:54 +0000 UTC]
I really enjoyed this. I especially like everything from "you're comatose" to the end.
It looks like you really thought this out carefully and skillfully. I certainly could never write something so skillfully and deeply.
Time for me to dive deeper into your work...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
c-pi [2008-08-06 13:23:02 +0000 UTC]
For some reason, I prefer this to some others because of the quotation marks.
As if I can attribute what you are saying to the mouths of others that I know.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
IsabellaMichel [2008-08-05 05:29:25 +0000 UTC]
I say that it's really nice. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
The placement of the stanza's work really well with the flow in the poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Diabolo-Spinner [2008-08-05 00:41:20 +0000 UTC]
I personally think this should be final, its rather beautiful and comes off as clean and finished :] good to see more writing, I lovez it lots
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
spacesuitcatalyst In reply to Diabolo-Spinner [2008-08-09 11:31:57 +0000 UTC]
haha well it iss final
i just meant that, like pretty much everything i write
i plan for it to have a second part, later.
if all goes well.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Diabolo-Spinner In reply to spacesuitcatalyst [2008-08-09 23:43:08 +0000 UTC]
ohhhhh I see now
then in that case... YAY.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
tetrarchangel [2008-08-04 22:27:02 +0000 UTC]
The only problem is that there's not the words to answer it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
spacesuitcatalyst In reply to tetrarchangel [2008-08-05 02:21:02 +0000 UTC]
How do you meann?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tetrarchangel In reply to spacesuitcatalyst [2008-08-05 16:18:08 +0000 UTC]
There's so much sentiment and beauty that to say, 'excellent poem, well done' is abysmally insufficient.
The usual dosage of envy and appreciation, that's all.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0