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TaintedTruffle — Haiku

Published: 2011-02-13 06:34:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 710; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 11
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Description After two months of complaining about the snow and winter it finally melts and I have to go search for a patch that still exist to drop blood on for this picture O.o
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Comments: 35

WillWorks [2011-04-12 23:01:15 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


It is an interesting idea with the heart made of blood. It is a very good consent for a photograph. It seems like one of those what are the odds in the photographs. It is not something you see everyday for the drops to make something symbolic. What can help the image is if you cropped out most of the negative space. This is the biggest mistake in the photo. Image does work nicly with the poem and that does help.

Although this is one of those wired coincidence photos you can not rely on that alone. With the Internet there are lot of other photos just showing conceptual ideas. If you want yours to stand out you need to present yours more aesthetics. One thing that does help is you are making a poem out of an image.

One of the mistakes you made in technique is to have no dark blacks or bright whites. It is shade of grays. You want to have the full spectrum of value in your work. Black can be dominant or white can be more dominant but there needs to be both. If you are looking into photograph it would not hurt to use some editing software.

Two thing that can improve the impact is your balance in light and dark and your use of negative space. You need to crop most of the image. The important port of the photo is the red hearts. How you crop it well it up to you in experimentation. If you do crop or edit an image please save the original first and save different files or else you lost the original and you may not like the final product. When you edit the light value and the cropping it still a photo rather than a photo manipulation so you can still say it is a photo. Good luck.

I hope that helps you on photography.

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Kellatrix [2011-02-13 07:52:19 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


I'm not sure whether you wanted a critique on the photo or poem, so I'll cover both, separately and together. I'd like to end on a positive note, so I'll start with possible improvements.

Firstly, I'm not sure what you used for the blood on the snow; it looks rather like Kool-Aid, and much too bright to be real blood. Recipes for convincing fake blood can be found all over the Internet, and mostly include things that are easy to find. The brightness of the blood may have something to do with image editing as well, in which case, I'd advise against it.

In the poem itself, I'd look at spelling and grammar. The only thing I can see is the lack of an apostrophe in 'winters'. The word 'sting' also is cut off, making it hard to read. I would also suggest the use of a thesaurus; there are a lot of very interesting vocabulary words you might have used that still would have fit.

Now good things! I really like the poem itself. It creates wonderful imagery, inspiring curiosity concerning the nature of the kiss that the poem speaks of, and the blood being spilled. It makes me think of a violent, very sexual love. The photo accompanying the poem, the concept of the blood splattered on the snow, injects the poem with new meaning. The last line in particular is my favorite, given that snow can seem smothering, with how quiet it is, and how it coats the ground and everything on it. The haiku is very striking as a whole.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Kellatrix [2011-02-13 08:16:39 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the critique! As for the blood it's real blood! For some reason it just stood out like that no mater what setting i put the camera on.

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Sacred-Series [2011-05-01 09:30:20 +0000 UTC]

thanks for faves ^_^

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Sacred-Series [2011-05-01 09:32:19 +0000 UTC]

your welcome thanks for putting up with my stupidity

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Llightdriver [2011-04-13 07:29:48 +0000 UTC]

Excellent! I would do the tipograpky samaler and more fussionated with the background. Congratulations!

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Llightdriver [2011-04-15 10:43:02 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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Harleydane [2011-04-11 20:02:55 +0000 UTC]

I think the blood is a bit too red, real blood is darker and thicker. Really cool concept though

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Harleydane [2011-04-11 21:00:08 +0000 UTC]

Its actually real blood lol it just photographed that way

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j3ssko [2011-04-11 03:58:54 +0000 UTC]

Vibrant red, very cryptic. I like it.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to j3ssko [2011-04-11 04:23:48 +0000 UTC]

:>

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Sotalean [2011-03-30 13:55:40 +0000 UTC]

I like the concept. I sort of wish the photo was bit more clear though.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Sotalean [2011-04-01 01:58:46 +0000 UTC]

yea, thanks

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brokenpuppet86 [2011-02-13 21:06:38 +0000 UTC]

very nice, blood and snow is always a good combination

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TaintedTruffle In reply to brokenpuppet86 [2011-02-14 10:02:45 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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mare-of-night [2011-02-13 19:24:46 +0000 UTC]

I like the sense of story, and I think having icy snow as the background goes well with it.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to mare-of-night [2011-02-14 05:30:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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TheMoonMonkey [2011-02-13 15:20:56 +0000 UTC]

This is pretty good, it could use more lighting other than that pretty good

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TaintedTruffle In reply to TheMoonMonkey [2011-02-13 17:57:50 +0000 UTC]

thank you >o< it was the middle of the night and I'm impatient

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Keiton [2011-02-13 15:11:11 +0000 UTC]

It would look ways better if you would have drawn it. And added text then ^____^
Like this, there are just too many little details distracting from the poetic part.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Keiton [2011-02-13 17:56:00 +0000 UTC]

lol drawn would have taken two seconds and been a lot less cold lol

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solidscorpion69 [2011-02-13 14:15:31 +0000 UTC]

I really like how the image accompanies the the haiku c:

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TaintedTruffle In reply to solidscorpion69 [2011-02-13 17:42:58 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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solidscorpion69 In reply to TaintedTruffle [2011-02-13 18:13:26 +0000 UTC]

No problem! c:

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wolfweress [2011-02-13 13:03:53 +0000 UTC]

very nice and theatrical, I like the impression of the heart to add more to the mode. As well as the mode of the photo and how the light makes me think of an old silent film.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to wolfweress [2011-02-13 17:42:30 +0000 UTC]

lol wow i just noticed that. I literally just cut my finger over it, that's how it fell. Thanks for the comment!

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shazic7 [2011-02-13 07:50:18 +0000 UTC]

Honestly, I did not understand it at all.
If you could elaborate, I would like to hear.

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DutchConnaisseur In reply to shazic7 [2011-02-13 18:20:24 +0000 UTC]

It is about two illecit lovers and the first time she loses her virginity.
Red blood (from losing her virginty) on white sheets (symbolised by the snow). Hiding the evidence when they pull up the blanket.

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shazic7 In reply to DutchConnaisseur [2011-02-13 18:59:16 +0000 UTC]

Hmm. You're right, thanks for the insight.
Looking twice, this is a much better Haiku than I realized at 1:00am. Thanks.

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Bekey In reply to shazic7 [2011-02-13 10:58:00 +0000 UTC]

I love you so deeply, deeper than your own female genitalia

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HazelAlmonds [2011-02-13 07:26:02 +0000 UTC]

very lovely, very sweet~ X3 I love the emotional impact of the whole piece!

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TaintedTruffle In reply to HazelAlmonds [2011-02-13 08:17:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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Lupina24 [2011-02-13 06:46:07 +0000 UTC]

ohhh, the haiku is lovely and the red really pops out from the snowy texture. very well done. I likes.

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TaintedTruffle In reply to Lupina24 [2011-02-13 07:03:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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Lupina24 In reply to TaintedTruffle [2011-02-13 17:13:07 +0000 UTC]

no problem, tis good work.

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