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I don't even know what I'm doing with that category. Is the category okay? It is now.

I've had something hanging over my head since June that I haven't talked to anyone about because I could never figure out the right time but when I was bathing all my bottled up emotions came out at once and I really need to get these all off my chest because it's important and I can't really not tell you guys. You know I'm graduating high school this year and I'm entering a whole new world. It's one I'm excited about, but I'm leaving. I might not be able to get on dA anymore so I wouldn't be able to talk to any of you anymore. That's what hurts. I don't want to say goodbye. I know it's selfish and I know it's childish but I just don't want to say goodbye. It's not the rps I'll miss, it's the contact with someone I know will be my friend no matter what I do and it reminds me so much of band which I'll also be leaving and I hate goodbyes so much because their so damned final. I know we could keep in contact, but what happens if we just become memories to each other and we don't even talk later on? It'll be like we never existed in each others lives and I don't want that. I love you guys too much to say goodbye like that. I love you guys, I really do. Twi, Eve, and Tintin, you guys have just been such a major part of my life recently and it's just so important because if I've had a really shitty time at school or something or my health goes some- which is often- I have friends I can turn to and just talk to about anything or nothing at all. I really really love that and I love hearing about every petty little thing that goes on or every major success or anything really that happens in your life because it makes me feel so much closer to you three. Damn it, I'm not ready to not talk to you anymore. I know I'll probably be ready later on to not talk as much and maybe something will make it easy, but I'm not ready now. We all have so much going on and we don't always talk and I think a lot about things we've talked about in the past in rp and ooc and it's just all wonderful no matter what because we're friends just because. We're a family and I don't wanna go. But I'll have to. And I'm scared and I'm crying and I really really really love you guys but college is seriously going to take over my life and then I'll focus on my own life with meteorology and maybe a husband or a wife or a cat or a dog or whatever because I don't know what the future holds for me.

Dammit this is too long now and I need to stop now before I really start crying.

I don't want college to take over and keep me from being in the company of you three, be it virtual or otherwise. You guys are a family away from my family... away from my band family... And I know I have time left with you guys, but still. It's my senior year and it's already going by so fast.