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Description
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴇ
ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴs ᴀʀᴇ sʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡ
ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɪɴ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ғᴀʟʟ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙʟᴏᴡ
ɪ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴄʟᴏsᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴɢᴇʟs

┉┉┉┉┉

  So I've been rather lonely and sad, and apparently I cope with that by...doing stuff like this. Canonically, Kato and Isaac's "relationship" is toxic at best; I address the nature of their first meeting here , and things don't get any healthier: The pair of them toe a line just a few steps removed from Armin Meiwes and Bernd Brandes. Isaac is essentially pathologically sadistic and Kato's all too happy to indulge that--to the point that Isaac brings a stop to their sexual encounters, fearing his own homicidal ideation and wavering impulse control in the face of someone who begs to die. Kato, of course, takes it as abandonment--and the two part ways, never to speak again.

But like I said, I cope with sadness strangely, so I found myself imagining an AU where things work out. Where these two traumatized, sick individuals manage to stop feeding into one another's illnesses and start, clumsily, healing...and learning to be less destructive of both themselves and others. Where maybe Isaac brings things to a head with the words;
  "I can't hurt you anymore. I know you want me to. But you're fucking ruining me, Kato. Do you know what it's like to go through life wanting to hurt, craving that? And to suddenly end up powerless, wanting only gentleness to pour from my hands? Do you know what the fuck it's like to look at someone and be so weak that you can't stomach the mere concept of causing them pain?"

And maybe Kato is able to read those words as vulnerability; able to recognize that there's something, maybe, to him having weakened the appeal of violence for Isaac, of all people. And allows himself to be vulnerable, too:

  "Then try. I can't promise I'll like it. But try it, then. 'Gentleness.'"

Description
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴇ
ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴs ᴀʀᴇ sʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡ
ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɪɴ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ғᴀʟʟ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙʟᴏᴡ
ɪ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴄʟᴏsᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴɢᴇʟs

┉┉┉┉┉

  So I've been rather lonely and sad, and apparently I cope with that by...doing stuff like this. Canonically, Kato and Isaac's "relationship" is toxic at best; I address the nature of their first meeting here , and things don't get any healthier: The pair of them toe a line just a few steps removed from Armin Meiwes and Bernd Brandes. Isaac is essentially pathologically sadistic and Kato's all too happy to indulge that--to the point that Isaac brings a stop to their sexual encounters, fearing his own homicidal ideation and wavering impulse control in the face of someone who begs to die. Kato, of course, takes it as abandonment--and the two part ways, never to speak again.

But like I said, I cope with sadness strangely, so I found myself imagining an AU where things work out. Where these two traumatized, sick individuals manage to stop feeding into one another's illnesses and start, clumsily, healing...and learning to be less destructive of both themselves and others. Where maybe Isaac brings things to a head with the words;
  "I can't hurt you anymore. I know you want me to. But you're fucking ruining me, Kato. Do you know what it's like to go through life wanting to hurt, craving that? And to suddenly end up powerless, wanting only gentleness to pour from my hands? Do you know what the fuck it's like to look at someone and be so weak that you can't stomach the mere concept of causing them pain?"

And maybe Kato is able to read those words as vulnerability; able to recognize that there's something, maybe, to him having weakened the appeal of violence for Isaac, of all people. And allows himself to be vulnerable, too:

  "Then try. I can't promise I'll like it. But try it, then. 'Gentleness.'"