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TurtleShell — First Love
Published: 2003-09-06 04:26:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 75; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 16
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Description
What happened to you?what happened to me?
what happened to us?
I just dont see.
I wish i knew,
where we went wrong,
if i think about it,
it will take too long.
You hate me,
and i hate you,
did you really think,
it would be just us two?
what you did to me,
is now in the past,
but i still hurt,
this pain will last.
to you i will not,
speak a word,
i do really think,
your quite absurd.
you were my,
very first love,
but now i dont care,
you lied about love.
i know that you,
lied to me,
ill never forget that,
i hope you see.
Comments: 5
Whoa, heart felt.
The poem is good, but i dont quite feel that the form suits it perfectly. I dont really feel the emotion of the piece except through what words are written. How they are written, i think you could do better, and that would better portray these feelings.
Also, im not sure that this particular photo fits the piece, i started with this vision of a happy-couple type of poem, so the photo seems just out of place and doesnt prepare the reader for the following poem.
Still, it isnt a bad poem, not bad
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Jason has already suffered. but i hpe it carries on. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
*cries* thats so sad 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah i feel better now. trust me he will wish he never crossed me! =X 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1