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Published: 2010-04-28 09:27:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 154; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 3
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Description
she never realized.not until she found herself by the edges of a road; stood and screamed at the dirt under fingernails and wide, unseeing eyes. not until she glimpsed torn cloth revealing cold skin and stumbled backwards, scraping her hands on the pavement
[but she's over there. how can her hands be over here when they're over there and clutching at themselves and how - why - ]
and feeling her breath come in gasps.
life doesn't wait for her to recover - it walks on, a slow, unstoppable creature. she watches the frying-pan feet crush the ground beneath them; sees the concrete giving like too-diluted cookie dough.
she makes no move to scramble out of the way - or to drag herself out of the brush and into the wilderness that encroaches on the roadside. instead, she sits in life's shadow and watches.
and waits.
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Comments: 8
londonrey [2010-06-08 01:30:58 +0000 UTC]
First off, I absolutely ADORE the title of this, brilliant. Right away I had a feeling about the girl, just from those two words. Like, she doesn't feel good about herself. My favorite part is the fifth stanza. It is very original and clever. I like the mystery you put in your writing. (:
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UnImpossible In reply to londonrey [2010-06-08 03:42:34 +0000 UTC]
Thanks (:
I love to make my writing less concise and instead let readers draw their own meaning from it. That way, it's easiest for them to relate.
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londonrey In reply to UnImpossible [2010-06-08 03:43:57 +0000 UTC]
Do you mean more concise? XD. I understand what you're saying. I try to do that as well, usually. (:
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UnImpossible In reply to londonrey [2010-06-08 03:50:35 +0000 UTC]
What? What did I write?
Oh. That's what I wrote.
I meant that I try to make it less clear about what I mean, so that it's possible to have several different meanings - oh, you get what I mean xD
Sorry for my rambling. I'm in Chinese class right now - it always does funny stuff to mah brain. o.O
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londonrey In reply to UnImpossible [2010-06-08 03:57:57 +0000 UTC]
Concise means brief or to the point. That's why I was confused. I get it though. (:
Chinese?! Why Chinese?
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UnImpossible In reply to londonrey [2010-06-08 04:00:14 +0000 UTC]
Because I'm Asian and I live in China... and yeah.
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londonrey In reply to UnImpossible [2010-06-08 04:01:28 +0000 UTC]
Ha, wow. That's awesome!! (Sorry if I totally sounded like an ignorant racist before. I promise I'm not.)
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