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Published: 2008-03-02 02:43:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 1394; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 11
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Description
:1:the child's eyes are
engaged in written word-
time escapes him
:2:
the temperature of snow
and the want of Spring,
remain steadfast
:3:
this year's first song-
carried on the voice
of an unseen bird
:4:
not quite rain
and not quite snow-
not quite warm nor cold
:5:
all our snowed-in days
will come and go,
like the wind
:6:
familiar and friendly smiles-
the key to warmth
:7:
where there were seagulls,
this very morning,
there is only whiteness
:8:
the chill in my arm-nerves
causes weakness
causes sickness
:9:
skipping on top the snow-fall,
the busy squirrel proves his grace
:10:
this land, once flat
now sprinkled
with miniature mountains
:11:
soft and passing-
air and education
:12:
As tall snow melts
the sky and I
grow taller
:13:
ignominy-
the saint is always taller
than himself
:14:
air begins to warm-
but do we follow?
:15:
a fish
in all its inactivity
may never rest
:16:
Earth and Man
are only whole
with Heaven's mark
:17:
there are no flowers
in a flooded landscape
:18:
the sun on sleepy eyelids-
the hope of you being here
:19:
a rainy dawn-
a flurry eve-
a sleepy yawn
:20:
still, dewy morning-
the wind, and a stroke of clarity...
gone.
:21:
a tripod doe
hobbles across the road
interrupting my commute
:22:
thrice a ball falls
in a hole named jackpot
and the machine shuts down
:23:
though a bite is tempting,
we've learned it best
to let bellies rest
:24:
feathered caws declare
the birth of spring
:25:
beginning again
an electronic adventure-
a free week
:26:
always, he leaves a library
with more than what will be read
:27:
little cartoon men
locked in fantastic combat-
a fun distraction
:28:
negligence-
contemplating
and not doing
:29:
even as the outdoors warm
the basement of this home
freezes these fingers
:30:
a reflective mind looks behind and sees
that which was wasted
:31:
by yĆŖ ashes of defeat
come yĆŖ roses of victory
Related content
Comments: 44
SOLARTS [2008-04-03 23:12:48 +0000 UTC]
:15:
a fish
in all its inactivity
may never rest
and
:17:
there are no flowers
in a flooded landscape
are wonderful, and are our favourites of yours in this set at the moment. congratulations on finishing in such style.
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Utanapishtim In reply to SOLARTS [2008-04-05 01:48:18 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, and congrats to you too : )
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Jade-Pandora [2008-03-30 04:14:35 +0000 UTC]
i enjoy your pieces, and the valiant surge to go forward but it's not always easy. i do hope you'll finish, no matter how late - there's no disgrace ......
not when one has potential!
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Utanapishtim In reply to Jade-Pandora [2008-03-30 14:44:38 +0000 UTC]
Oi vey, I'll finish it by the end of the month (I hope). C'est la vie, non? D:
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moyanII [2008-03-20 10:43:37 +0000 UTC]
day 3
good one. the introduction of spring with the song of an unseen bird keeps us in anticipation of better days to come.
day 12
thought-provoking. somehow an after-taste of vastness and emptiness in this haiku lingers.
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Utanapishtim In reply to moyanII [2008-03-20 22:41:21 +0000 UTC]
Thanks Glad you like them! I think those are the better ones I've done. I don't feel I'm doing so well this month, but I've also been pretty distracted. I can't get into the dao, haha
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moyanII In reply to Utanapishtim [2008-04-18 15:36:46 +0000 UTC]
congrats upon completion! i know i am late but i kept all the haikuthon's entries in my devwatch till i cleared them.
the library one is hilarious. i used to be one of such person. now i spare myself the chore of carrying unread books back to the library for returning.
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Utanapishtim In reply to moyanII [2008-04-19 02:20:18 +0000 UTC]
Haha, thank you! Glad for the comment, even late :]
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Kagitsune [2008-03-17 03:53:29 +0000 UTC]
I see the gradual improvements as the month progresses... alas, I am too tired and lazy and novice-ish to say why. xD
#7, 10, and nearly everything after....
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Utanapishtim In reply to Kagitsune [2008-03-17 17:27:09 +0000 UTC]
Really? I feel I'm degenerating D:
But thank you : )
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b1gfan [2008-03-11 04:33:19 +0000 UTC]
#9. inspired, truely. I'm loving the graceful squirrel.
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Utanapishtim In reply to b1gfan [2008-03-15 21:12:28 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. Fanciful little critters they are.
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GyoShin [2008-03-10 04:59:52 +0000 UTC]
oh yes the squirrels just don't give up even if the snow's taking over.
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Utanapishtim In reply to GyoShin [2008-03-11 00:41:24 +0000 UTC]
Crafty little devils D:
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sophisdecay [2008-03-08 15:35:41 +0000 UTC]
i like #7 alot... i always find seagulls relaxing.
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Utanapishtim In reply to sophisdecay [2008-03-10 02:59:46 +0000 UTC]
Thanks : ) Yeah, they make for good imagery.
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HaikuKitty [2008-03-06 19:23:50 +0000 UTC]
I came to tell you that I walked in the park today, and the unseen bird sung. I thought of this.
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Utanapishtim In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-06 21:56:09 +0000 UTC]
Awesome : ) Makes me glad that you thought of it!
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HaikuKitty In reply to Utanapishtim [2008-03-07 06:19:51 +0000 UTC]
I thought it was really cool... It stuck with me very well. :thumbup:
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HaikuKitty [2008-03-05 05:56:06 +0000 UTC]
4 - Yep - I am there right now. I can totally relate to this image.
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Utanapishtim In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-05 21:16:10 +0000 UTC]
Crazy ass weather D:
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livingtoxic [2008-03-04 00:19:30 +0000 UTC]
Love stanza 2, especially the want of Spring.
suggested edit:
snow's temperature
want of Spring
remains steadfast
š: 0 ā©: 1
Utanapishtim In reply to livingtoxic [2008-03-04 22:31:05 +0000 UTC]
Glad you liked it : )
Thanks for the suggestion too, (I do appreciate it) though I wanted to make the observation that both the present cold and the thoughts of warmth were "here" at the moment and unwavering.
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livingtoxic In reply to Utanapishtim [2008-03-05 00:46:51 +0000 UTC]
ignore my suggestion. reads like a run-on sentence.
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Utanapishtim In reply to livingtoxic [2008-03-05 17:28:04 +0000 UTC]
It's cool, I still appreciate it. ; )
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SOLARTS [2008-03-04 00:15:33 +0000 UTC]
we like the first one for a very different reason to others. it is argued by many philosophers that the written word cuts us off from the experience of the "real" by fixing it into static, unchanging signs (words). In this sense words differentiate things into categories (defined by difference: a tree is not a chair, which is not a fork, which is not a tiger, and so on and so forth).
This is what "reading" means to me: the word. this method of differentiation also cuts us off from the real experience of "duration" or "time." Time is not "really" seconds, or minutes, or hours (all markers of difference between now and then) but a smooth flow of existence. What does this mean? Let is explore.
Language also says "time is time" and "space is space" and maintains that they are different, that they are independent entities (like classical Newtonian physics). Language is a binary system, like classical physics, which revels in here/there, now/then, space/time distinctions (either/or).
Reality, however, is not 2d, nor is it binary. Take here/there. Traditionally we say, I am "here" and you are "there" (and I am "not there"). But in perceiving the "there" part of it (in light form, or sound form, a physical thing) travels to where we are. We are at the end of our senses over "there" first (where we look, smell, feel) and only "here" second (as a view of the "there"). Hence the binary representation of things is innacurate.
This binary nature of our current relationship to language (what Lacan calls the "symbolic," the "word," the "name of the father") cuts us off from experiencing "time" as it might "really be" (Greek: ontos on). Time, in language, is perceived as linear with causally linked events following one after the other (a narrative). Einstein has shown that time is not "really" linear (before/after: a binary) but actually much weirder. When static/still/state time is a binary, but when we are moving (everything moves!) time does not have such strict differentiations between the past and the present. What appears linear may sudden be non-linear, what was synchronous appears un-synchronous and so on.
In this way, when the child is engaged in language (the name of the father) they miss the "sublime" nature of "time" as a "becoming," as a "system" (rather than the "being" of a "state" of now/then, before/after, first/last). By immersing oneself in the belief of language as knowledge, the true reality of time, and the universe, escapes us.
That is what we read. We have written extensively on this in a small essay on the origins of the haiku poem, the "haikai no renga" (the relation of binaries to reality).
"Haikai no Renga" essay link: [link]
Anyway, great poem for us. And it made us have a series of interesting thoughts.
Thankyou,
solar
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HaikuKitty In reply to SOLARTS [2008-03-05 05:55:15 +0000 UTC]
Interesting commentary... *Runs to Haikai no renga again.....*
This is why I love these projects, I go around and read these wonderful comments on others work and grow.
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SOLARTS In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-05 10:02:41 +0000 UTC]
us too-
its so great for talking haiku, and meeting some new people.
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Utanapishtim In reply to SOLARTS [2008-03-04 22:25:13 +0000 UTC]
That's a great commentary. I'm very flattered that you'd write so much over something I did, and it's a very poignant comment at that. Thanks a lot, really! I'm definitely going to read Haikai no Renga
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SOLARTS In reply to Utanapishtim [2008-03-04 23:21:30 +0000 UTC]
glad you enoyed it.
a wonderful poem!
all the best,
the team at solar
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HaikuKitty [2008-03-03 14:40:44 +0000 UTC]
When I was a child, all of my problems disappeared in books. Love this image. Great poem.
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Utanapishtim In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-04 22:27:32 +0000 UTC]
I was similar, though my books were of dinosaurs, reptiles, insects and other animals, as well as mythologies and the occasional ghost stories- no novels for me, so now I have to play catch up.
Glad you like the poem and relate to it. : )
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Erinamis [2008-03-02 17:26:02 +0000 UTC]
This is so familiar to me...
And you are right: 30 more to go!
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Laurence55 [2008-03-02 04:39:15 +0000 UTC]
Actually, I like this. The idea that as the human consciousness expands (from learning), it rises even above the restraint of time. Well done.
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SOLARTS In reply to Laurence55 [2008-03-04 00:18:49 +0000 UTC]
I kind of went in the opposite direction (see above) but both are obviously valid...
it is funny how critique diverges along all lines (and winds up on the same road...
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Laurence55 In reply to SOLARTS [2008-03-04 03:25:48 +0000 UTC]
Excellent! After reading your critique, I find myself reconsidering how deeply I looked into the poem at first glance. Although (as you said) both ideas are valid, I am leaning more in the thoughts you have proposed here. Hmmm....I need to review "Haikai No Renga"
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SOLARTS In reply to Laurence55 [2008-03-04 03:30:47 +0000 UTC]
Cool - I love the month of haiku so much - I am thinking more than usual... my brain is getting into the various "speeds" of things.
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Laurence55 In reply to SOLARTS [2008-03-04 03:41:49 +0000 UTC]
Excellent dude...i was telling Jade the other day..."Dick is the time traveler of DA haiku"
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SOLARTS In reply to Laurence55 [2008-03-04 03:44:23 +0000 UTC]
totally!! you get me man. it makes me happy and smile. I tutor at a uni (in film) and we sometimes have a fancy dress at the end and I always go as Dr. Who (the David Tennent doctor cause I am so in love with him).
Best,
Dick, from Solar
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Utanapishtim In reply to Laurence55 [2008-03-03 03:49:20 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, glad you liked it! : )
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