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Vyctorian — Pati.exe already exists [Twinning - Robotization]
#scifi #tf #heart_eyes #bluehair #dizzy #energy #glow #hearteyes #heels #orange #redhead #robot #robotgirl #robotization #tannedgirl #transformation #twinning #urban #urbanfantasy #dizzygirl #tannedskin #twinssisters
Published: 2018-05-28 03:38:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 18820; Favourites: 121; Downloads: 0
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Description
Patron's get early access to art, and I'd love for you to join us there : www.patreon.com/Vyctorian
I also take one time donations in the form of ko-fi: ko-fi.com/vyctorian
And I also have commissions open:
This piece took more over 21 days to complete.
This is my entry to 's twinning contest fav.me/dc7o1ff in the [Art without mental changes] category.
I decided to go a bit meta with this one, and reference my last contest entry ( The Game Over contest) in the second part. The criticism from that contest drove me to put more effort into this one, and this meta joke was in my head the entire time.
I tried to make their speaking styles distinctive in the dialogue so it was clear this was strictly the a visual change, not a mental one. There is a shift in the way I represent the speech but that is due to her voice box changing.
I tried my best to make Pati's [the Orange one] speaking style not simply a copy of Penny's from RWBY, though for some reason whenever I try to write robot girl she comes to mind. I think I did well here though.
When there was only one of her I didn't realize the design comparison. but now that she has a twin it's kinda hard to too see her as an orange robot version of my twin OC's in Shakura's Sunset. They prolly would have been a better candidate for this contest in hindsight, but who knows maybe I'll do something with them in the future ~
For the background I went for a simple mother board inspired design, and broke it up in the center with my signature. I would have liked to do more with the background but I felt like getting this up was more important.
I opted not to make this a TG as that was optional and this was an idea I had more passion for and there for knew would result in harder work from me.
This is also my first time publicly releasing designs of either character.
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Comments: 17
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
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Thank you soo much, it's one of my favorites now ~
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You're making me blush, hee hee~
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The first panel is mirror on the 2nd, and the third is mirror on the fourth, the fifth is wholly original for both.
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Definitely an improvement over last time. The meta twist on it helps make it stand out from the other twinning sequences in the contest. I also appreciate the simple but interesting background, something people tend to struggle with. As charoset pointed out the biggest issue is anatomy. For example in the first two parts Pati's head is way too small. In the final parts the heads are more standard but then the bottom halves suffer and look kind of like hooves. The smoothness of the transition could also be improved.
Again, leagues better than last time but still room for improvement.
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So first off the positives. I love the concept you gave this and how meta you went with someone being willingly twinned to win the competition. You lost the most points for the art though. Now you're at a point where you're really close to being good, the anatomy is just consistently off enough where I'm getting an extreme, uncanny valley feeling, but that's a part of most artist progressions and as long as you keep improving, I can't wait to see how your style evolves. I think your poses are already at a nice stage if slightly stiff. One thing you do really need to work on though is dialogue. In broad strokes, it's fun and I could feel some of the character coming out for each person, but there were multiple formatting issues and frequent grammar, spelling and word choice issues.
For example, in the robot's first bubble you write, "it is wonderfully to make your aquience"
"Wonderfully" should be "wonderful" as the latter is an adjective while the former is an adverb which only makes sense when describing a verb e.g. "running wonderfully" vs "a wonderful run." Also I believe "aquience should have been "acquaintance" unless you were trying to make a pun off of "acquiesce" in which case you misspelled it. If you want me to go through each bubble, just ask, but be careful and please put your ending punctuation right after the end of the sentence instead of one line below.
Despite the flaws, there's something here and I'm sure you'll only improve as you keep on drawing. Thanks for entering.
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to give credit to your strength here, there is a lot of personality in the poses. you can tell a lot about the relationship of the characters from them alone, but speaking of relationships, the dialogue is well written too. however, its just a little bit of an eyesore to read. I would suggest either making the texts colors either orange and blue, or red and green to keep either or, just so there is a more eye friendly color combination. It also helps to fill the bubbles a bit better, so if that means centering text instead of right margin, or even playing with new fonts or sizes to bring more emphasis to certain words or phrases, you'll make my day
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