HOME | DD
wizemanbob — In the Beginning
#falseedo #love #worldwanderer
Published: 2009-05-31 17:14:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 150; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
In the beginning was darkness.That's how it's always told.
A story so damn simple.
A story so damn old.
In the beginning was nothing,
And I was all alone.
No one here beside me.
Nowhere to call home.
In the beginning was darkness,
A feeling ever bleak.
I was condemned to solitude
Because I was too weak.
In the beginning I was alone,
And needed someone to love.
I wished that I could find one
That I could just take hold of.
But in the beginning I was not strong enough
To hope for something more
Or think I could make a way
To find something worth living for.
In my beginning was darkness
A void of what could be
And then there was a light
That came and summoned me.
In my beginning, you were there
But you were all alone.
So I came to comfort you
And give your heart a home.
In my beginning I saw your light,
A glimmer oh so meek.
I needed to protect you
Because you felt so weak.
In my beginning I was beside you
And gave you all my love.
I wished you would just look up
And look at me, my dove.
But in my beginning I was not strong enough
To give you something more,
To get you everything you need,
To lift you from the floor.
In my beginning I heard you call
Your cries brought me to you.
And what I saw, I did love
And needed through and through.
In the beginning, we were two
Lost souls without a plan.
So I held you and whispered things
I'd hope you'd understand.
In the beginning two still were but two
And loneliness was all we shared.
No happiness, no unity, no strength,
No secrets we had bared.
In the beginning I came to you
And you looked up at me.
I grabbed your heart, locked so deep away
And in it placed the key.
In the beginning, you were you
And I was barely me.
But now, together, there's something more,
For you are you and I am I, but you and I is we.
Comments: 8
I especially like the repetition of "in the beginning" in each verse. It ties the whole piece together. The brief change over to "in my beginning" is extremely effective.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks. The "my" was an attempt to bring a second person into the conversation, as it were. He's a fairly egocentric person anyway, so it seemed appropriate.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
An interesting poem. The flow is oh so captivating and powerful. You pick me up, carry me along--into these beginnings--and don't put me back down. Who is this about? In your comment to ~roobyRIOT you say it's about two characters in a story called Worldwander. What is the story about?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I've got a lot of WW on here, actually. It's kinda sci-fi/fantasy/chaos, I guess. I'm a little too close to the source material to be objective.
One of the main characters is--for lack of a better term--a blood disease. I can't really explain it better without a rant.
If you want to read it, it starts here .
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I will have to read your work and get back to you on what I think about it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I really like this.
It's such a simple structure, but it's so effective.
And the repetition of "in the beginning" makes it more emotive, I think.
Well done
A very poignant and personal piece of literature.
xoxo
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks, it's actually a bit silly to me, because it's written about two characters from my Worldwanderer story. One's shown up already and become a regular part of the story, while the other's made a brief appearance and sort of died. It's complicated.
Thanks again for reading and enjoying the piece.
xoxo
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's still really good
In a way, it sorta reminds me of this girl I knew.
It doesn't just have to apply to the story, y'know?
xoxo
👍: 0 ⏩: 0