HOME | DD

Worst-Username β€” 39 Bottles of Beer....

Published: 2011-07-10 21:41:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 1009; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description Regular text = The actual fanfic by Tara Gilesbie.
Bold text = My comments.

Please play this in the background, it will make the experience much more enjoyable: [link]

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

That’s what you said last time.

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.

7 a.m. wakin' up in the mornin'. Gotta be fresh, gotta go down stairs. Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal....

Seriously, this is exactly like the song "Friday"


Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

THE HORROR!!!!!

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it.

No.

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick.

NO.

He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

NO.

He had a manly stubble on his chin.

Harry does not have stubble.

He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

Are you sure about that?

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

FUCK. NO. Dear god, where's Nostalgia Critic when you need him?!

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.




"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

What? Why....?

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

That is the best chapter transition I’ve ever read.

39 bottles of beer on the wall, 39 bottles of beer! Read a fic, chug it quick, 38 bottles of beer on the wall!
Related content
Comments: 74

Gabalot [2011-11-27 05:10:02 +0000 UTC]

When she said 'I roared'...
I pictured her turning into a dinosaur and screaming at him.

"YEEEEEAHHHH"

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 2

Tsundere-Queen In reply to Gabalot [2012-03-22 15:59:06 +0000 UTC]

Oh god this comment made me laugh so hard xD xD xD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Worst-Username In reply to Gabalot [2011-11-28 01:04:12 +0000 UTC]

....that is an amazing image.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

SnowsGhost [2011-11-27 04:12:22 +0000 UTC]

? Why, just why?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to SnowsGhost [2011-11-27 21:35:55 +0000 UTC]

Because portals and butter, that's why.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Ella0905 [2011-11-27 01:04:26 +0000 UTC]

This is crap writing. Why do you torture yourself like this?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to Ella0905 [2011-11-27 03:28:56 +0000 UTC]

It brings entertainment into our boring lives. Besides, why the hell not?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Ella0905 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-11-28 02:50:13 +0000 UTC]

Makes sense. Or thinking I mean, not the writing you comment on.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

cat-tom-boy [2011-08-07 22:05:25 +0000 UTC]

I'm pretty sure the Nostalgia critic would drink himself dead in order to avoid this piece of crap,plus it isn't Nostalgia he would say and he'd leave Chester to read it.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to cat-tom-boy [2011-08-07 22:18:46 +0000 UTC]

yeah, probably

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

cat-tom-boy In reply to Worst-Username [2011-08-07 22:34:42 +0000 UTC]

And we'd hear.
"OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE! So there is this mary-sue..."

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to cat-tom-boy [2011-08-07 23:29:12 +0000 UTC]

lol yep

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

cat-tom-boy In reply to Worst-Username [2011-08-07 23:30:52 +0000 UTC]

That would be a nice episode of Bum reviews that is for sure.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to cat-tom-boy [2011-08-07 23:37:04 +0000 UTC]

indeed

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

IamBloodyA [2011-07-11 07:40:47 +0000 UTC]

Noooooooo...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

dkiefersu [2011-07-11 02:18:55 +0000 UTC]

hahahahahhaha, wow once I was with my girlfriend, and then the waitress spilled my drink all over my lap. Awkward much?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to dkiefersu [2011-07-11 02:21:26 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, that's really awkward XD that's happened to everybody though

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

dkiefersu In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-24 16:00:46 +0000 UTC]

yeah thankfully.

I have another awkward story... but it's M rated

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to dkiefersu [2011-07-24 16:12:04 +0000 UTC]

No fun. M rated stories amuse me

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

dkiefersu In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-24 20:15:25 +0000 UTC]

i should say 'x' rated

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to dkiefersu [2011-07-24 20:19:14 +0000 UTC]

does that mean no story time?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

dkiefersu In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-25 01:35:54 +0000 UTC]

hmm... well, it has to do with my ex, and her milfy mom. do you wanna hear it?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to dkiefersu [2011-07-25 01:36:17 +0000 UTC]

Sure!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

dkiefersu In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-25 01:47:59 +0000 UTC]

hahaha, this one's a classic.

when I used to go door to door, one woman was really against the Royal Wedding. And we had the "Royal wedding discount day" then she said "i'm anti royal wedding, you just made this awkward"
then I said "i wouldn't call this awkward, once during sex, I called my ex by her mother's name. That's awkward!"

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to dkiefersu [2011-07-25 01:49:08 +0000 UTC]

What was the lady's reaction?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

dkiefersu In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-25 02:00:08 +0000 UTC]

she was kinda speechless. Then I left, because it was a waste of time.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to dkiefersu [2011-07-25 02:08:59 +0000 UTC]

XD well that's funny...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

dkiefersu In reply to Worst-Username [2011-08-13 11:48:06 +0000 UTC]

quite

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Chemical-Telepathy [2011-07-11 01:48:31 +0000 UTC]

...I'm just happy that you mentioned Nostalgia Critic. XD
WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST MAKE VOLDEMORT GOTH, TOO?! Once you change Harry Potter, the entire world changes as well. lol

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to Chemical-Telepathy [2011-07-11 02:22:05 +0000 UTC]

Voldemort's apparently a prep, so is Snape. Which doesn't make sense, because those are the most goth characters in the series.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Chemical-Telepathy In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 02:44:50 +0000 UTC]

Oh my god.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to Chemical-Telepathy [2011-07-11 02:55:45 +0000 UTC]

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

hahakool1234 [2011-07-11 00:29:32 +0000 UTC]

Oh lol.

Your responses.

This story.

Tara should die.

When will we put our plan into action? >:I

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to hahakool1234 [2011-07-11 00:37:07 +0000 UTC]

when we find out EXACTLY where Tara is, retrieve weapons, get money to go where she is. Then we can execute our plan.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

hahakool1234 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 00:39:05 +0000 UTC]

Sounds good.

I wonder where we can become police in less than five minutes.

Then we can legally kill people.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to hahakool1234 [2011-07-11 00:40:19 +0000 UTC]

or when we can get Johnny's power to never get caught, but that's not really possible

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

hahakool1234 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 03:13:28 +0000 UTC]

It's never possible.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to hahakool1234 [2011-07-11 03:23:40 +0000 UTC]

Well there's Casey Anthony...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

hahakool1234 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 03:28:05 +0000 UTC]

That can be possible.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to hahakool1234 [2011-07-11 03:30:40 +0000 UTC]

yep!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

steelersfan826 [2011-07-11 00:04:18 +0000 UTC]

Go forth with my blessing, little crusader. Keep cleaving through the gobbledygook of these degenerates of society.

Seriously, I thought it was some vampire bullshit and now Harry Potter? I've seen more artistic writing skills in an episode of Family Guy.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to steelersfan826 [2011-07-11 00:28:05 +0000 UTC]

Yes sir, Lord Sexman.

Hell, I've seen more artistic writing skills from Xaldin's 6 year old sisters!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

steelersfan826 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 01:29:20 +0000 UTC]

Who's Xaldin?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to steelersfan826 [2011-07-11 01:35:40 +0000 UTC]

Gabe/friend offline

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

steelersfan826 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 02:33:45 +0000 UTC]

Ah, where did you even find this abortion of a story? I'm curious as to how bad it is.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to steelersfan826 [2011-07-11 02:55:01 +0000 UTC]

Well first I heard about it through a Grell meme, I wanted to find this shit, I googled it. Saw a repost on fanfiction.net thought "why the hell not" and read it. I read it ALL. I can give you the link if you want

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

steelersfan826 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 05:31:44 +0000 UTC]

Sure.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to steelersfan826 [2011-07-11 11:31:24 +0000 UTC]

[link]

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

steelersfan826 In reply to Worst-Username [2011-07-11 23:58:00 +0000 UTC]

The more I keep reading this, the more convinced I am that somebody was pulling our leg here. Nobody could honestly be this stupid, regardless it's entertaining in a weird sort of way.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Worst-Username In reply to steelersfan826 [2011-07-12 00:41:07 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I'm pretty certain tara is a troll

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0


| Next =>