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bite06me β€” it is
Published: 2004-03-06 02:47:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 114; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 16
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Description
no one will understand this all but me
its my fragmented thoughts into a poem,
well more like prose
but im entering it in poem
because im in control...


you found it
in my bag
some love
left over
just mine
you found it
told me
my parents
turned my life
into your book
open for you
to read- break in
Broken, me
my life- upside down
one friend
I've told
She's there- always

What happened, shh
haven't told
the others
A friend since 1st
another since 5th
knowing nothing
too bad
I'm shelted, in my shell
hiding
Dissimulating
I'm no ones doll
but everyone's

I'm lost, dark- confused.
The one who found,
who are you
Connections made
I love, but hate
take me
I'm down
Stripped
Don't look...
Go away.
Erase my life
the life i lived
before i die
unsatisfied
filled with memories
of dismal
a dismal fidelity.
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Comments: 25

charliemay [2004-03-11 21:40:12 +0000 UTC]

wow...sweeeeeeeeet poem.icredible flow,i really felt this one

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to charliemay [2004-03-12 00:38:05 +0000 UTC]

thank you!!!!
-hehe-

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

charliemay In reply to bite06me [2004-03-12 19:58:45 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

daphantom [2004-03-10 03:08:05 +0000 UTC]

the fragmentation of this actually suits well to me, it made it flow in my mind

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inpayne [2004-03-09 02:11:24 +0000 UTC]

great!!!! love it!!!

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akashka [2004-03-08 16:52:11 +0000 UTC]

awesome ... its cute

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redbloodserpents [2004-03-06 21:24:12 +0000 UTC]

thoughts
more prose
then poem
but im in control here.

non or perfect syntax
its fragmented
it is what it is.
its mine.

ok so i know its not part of the poem (by the way the poem was amazing) but this struck me as beautiful because its so true. you write wonderfully. keep at it. i hope it helps.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to redbloodserpents [2004-03-07 02:03:37 +0000 UTC]

thank you, im flattttered!! eee!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

redbloodserpents In reply to bite06me [2004-03-07 04:29:53 +0000 UTC]

welcomes!

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flutter-of-wings [2004-03-06 20:01:04 +0000 UTC]

wow, this is amazing you write so beautifully

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to flutter-of-wings [2004-03-07 01:51:51 +0000 UTC]

thank you!!! you are too kind, thank you! hehe

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

flutter-of-wings In reply to bite06me [2004-03-07 11:32:17 +0000 UTC]

anytime, you deserve it

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

xxstarxx [2004-03-06 09:41:17 +0000 UTC]

as said previously I liked the fragmentation which is something I usually don’t go for but you made it beautiful and the poem is outstanding and just leaves me speechless... great work

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to xxstarxx [2004-03-07 01:56:02 +0000 UTC]

Mmmm- thank you! I'm honoured to have you reading my submitions, muchless making you speechless! thanks

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ares1013 [2004-03-06 05:12:30 +0000 UTC]

Awesome. I actually enjoyed the fragmentation of it. Very nice.

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hollybunny [2004-03-06 03:45:50 +0000 UTC]

this is incredible and intense....thank you. excellent excellent excellent

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to hollybunny [2004-03-06 03:53:52 +0000 UTC]

o o o thank you for reading it!!!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

hollybunny In reply to bite06me [2004-03-06 03:54:45 +0000 UTC]

always....i look for your poems

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

ForeverLonelyFreak [2004-03-06 03:14:53 +0000 UTC]

I'm lost, dark- confused.
The one who found,
who are you
Connections made
I love, but hate
take me
wow this just stuck out to me i dk why it was powerful...grat job as usual

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to ForeverLonelyFreak [2004-03-06 03:15:48 +0000 UTC]

eee, thank you im extremely flattered!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

ForeverLonelyFreak In reply to bite06me [2004-03-06 03:20:29 +0000 UTC]

np sweetie

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

captainpugwash [2004-03-06 03:12:45 +0000 UTC]

I love
I'm no ones doll
but everyone's
I love the contradiction of it, beautiful sweetheart

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

bite06me In reply to captainpugwash [2004-03-06 03:14:50 +0000 UTC]



eeeee, thank you my dear, so kind of you

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

captainpugwash In reply to bite06me [2004-03-06 03:21:19 +0000 UTC]

*bows low in front of lady* It is my pleasure my darling

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

genuinecrisis [2004-03-06 03:01:01 +0000 UTC]

I like the last one stanza (poem...w/e) best. good job.
-tif

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