Morbid-sAINT [2005-02-10 08:56:57 +0000 UTC]

I agree with the above poster. The world is a much better place with you in it and you need to be in it for a long time. Keep up the good work.

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Lourdess [2005-02-03 00:56:51 +0000 UTC]

A very good piece.

But not YOUR fate.....someone with the talent to capture such truth is destine to be around a long time.

Keep up the good work. Being an artist is feeling the experience and expressing it, of being a human being and it can be painful and joyous. It is the journey of our soul to discover, nurture and express the love from deep within our human existence.

Peace & friendship to you girl

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demonlight [2005-01-17 14:55:03 +0000 UTC]

I like the format of the poem - it almost seems to funnel as though it is leading to an unavoidable conclusion. I would be very careful about the tense accuracy. In the first stanza it is present tense, in the second it is future, and in the third and fourth, it was past tense. That's fine considering that some of the perspectives are retroactive, but I would consider whether you want this to be a 'this could happen' speculative peice (in which case, future tense will do for the first two) or 'in a parallel world' in which case you should use present. Just something to be aware of.

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Bumblebees-toasters [2005-01-07 18:53:50 +0000 UTC]

feral - wow i really liked the ending too; tis very dramatic *claps*

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Emotional-Writings [2005-01-07 18:26:19 +0000 UTC]

Hmm..the ending was definatly great, I really liked how it tied everything together. Very good job.

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