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bslisted — Tiny Dancer in the Hall
Published: 2012-07-21 03:53:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 670; Favourites: 29; Downloads: 4
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Description She stands in hallways
Far from uneventful; unnoticed perhaps.
Rigid.
The world is her stage.
She hears her own ballet
and twirls.
Dances like an angel.
Entranced.

But the world has her jaded.
She dreams of songbirds.
If she could sing,
her toes would not be so squared.
Her fans stare on, hoping for
a moment-- sublime.

She stands, a study in realism.
Legs tremble...she will never
fit the part.
True hearts are true
but never a vision of perfection,
always somehow abrasive.

She pirouettes and
fabric flutters like time
or iridescent butterflies.
They are someone else's dreams.
Her dreams are here, in the spotlight...
Costumed and terrified.

She is unyielding,
arms stretched out like branches.
Her shadow flits and plays;
Arms sad and shy.
She is a weeping willow,
alone amongst her peers.
Sentinel amid the ridicule of
left behind playbills.
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Comments: 30

roselynedwards [2012-09-13 23:14:37 +0000 UTC]

I enjoyed reading this

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bslisted In reply to roselynedwards [2012-09-16 23:54:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the read and the comment

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roselynedwards In reply to bslisted [2012-09-19 13:20:45 +0000 UTC]

yep it's awesome

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BelaRoseWolf [2012-09-13 20:59:06 +0000 UTC]

This is a really beautiful poem! I love the imagery, and the theme is nice too. It's very well-written, and I enjoyed it. Great work!

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bslisted In reply to BelaRoseWolf [2012-09-16 23:53:43 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much

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BelaRoseWolf In reply to bslisted [2012-09-17 03:48:25 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome!

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kartiksharma [2012-08-04 01:58:02 +0000 UTC]

Amazingly done! ♥
Goood Work!

Have a look: [link]

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bslisted In reply to kartiksharma [2012-08-04 21:30:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, as always. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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NotenSMSK [2012-07-22 20:54:01 +0000 UTC]

This is a well expressed work; the uncertainty of a dancer and how you have given her soul an almost childish or small feel almost as you can hold it.

There is the slight problem of idea's that seem a bit jumbled; each stanza is not entirely a different idea. But that works fine for such poems good work!

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bslisted In reply to NotenSMSK [2012-08-04 21:27:00 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the read and for your comments Sorry for the late responses, I just got back from vacation.

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NotenSMSK In reply to bslisted [2012-08-04 21:31:34 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome it is totally fine!

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JokerrLaughs [2012-07-22 19:46:13 +0000 UTC]

so beautiful, with wonderful imagery
I really enjoyed reading this.

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bslisted In reply to JokerrLaughs [2012-08-04 21:26:36 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Sorry for the late responses, I just got back from vacation.

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ThePenVsTheSword [2012-07-22 00:12:37 +0000 UTC]

It would be interesting to see a picture of this sculpture. Although I think you captured the sense of it and what you see in the sculpture wonderfully with this piece. Good job!

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bslisted In reply to ThePenVsTheSword [2012-08-04 21:32:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the nice comment. I did post a picture of the sculpture after the writing. You can find it here . Sorry for the late response, I just got back from vacation.

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ThePenVsTheSword In reply to bslisted [2012-08-05 03:04:25 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. And it's okay. That sculpture is lovely.

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DelightfullyFreaky [2012-07-21 21:56:02 +0000 UTC]

The language used is very nice! I like it!

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bslisted In reply to DelightfullyFreaky [2012-08-04 21:26:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much. Sorry for the late responses, I just got back from vacation.

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DelightfullyFreaky In reply to bslisted [2012-08-05 02:03:18 +0000 UTC]

Don't worry about it! You're welcome!

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Chezzy-Am [2012-07-21 17:45:59 +0000 UTC]

Once its up, do send a link; I'd be happy to compare and contrast the deviation with its written paraphrasing

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bslisted In reply to Chezzy-Am [2012-07-21 20:18:40 +0000 UTC]

Link here I apologize but she has a bad shadow behind her. I hope it is clear enough though. Thanks for the read

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Chezzy-Am In reply to bslisted [2012-07-21 20:29:54 +0000 UTC]

... It is... the shadow has a good effect too...

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PunkinMEG [2012-07-21 12:21:57 +0000 UTC]

Great job! The imagery is just perfect!

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bslisted In reply to PunkinMEG [2012-07-21 20:16:51 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you liked it, thanks.

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LuXun1986 [2012-07-21 04:07:10 +0000 UTC]

Yea, the imagery is awesome like the dude above me said. Simple but effective.

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bslisted In reply to LuXun1986 [2012-07-21 20:16:36 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much

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LuXun1986 In reply to bslisted [2012-07-22 01:46:09 +0000 UTC]

No problem ^w^

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LightOverpowers58 [2012-07-21 04:01:53 +0000 UTC]

The imagery you use in this piece stuns me. I can imagine a girl in the hall, frightened by what's ahead of her and saddened by what's behind her, but living all the same. Amazing work!

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bslisted In reply to LightOverpowers58 [2012-07-21 20:16:18 +0000 UTC]

thanks again

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LightOverpowers58 In reply to bslisted [2012-07-21 20:36:20 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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