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daveyrocsmysocs — broken dream
Published: 2004-04-09 19:12:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 67; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description
i'm lying in a fieldcovered in roaches
calling your name
hoping you'll save me from this pain
i feel the tears fall from my cheek
put my fingers to my face
and feel the wounds as they bleed
i cry
screaming your name
now covered in scares and bruises
i wake up
not a trace of grass to be found
every night i travel to that field
you dead in my arms
i lie in the grass and wait for the roaches
i feel the leaves fall around me
but nothing surrounds me
thoughts of a broken dream haunt me
and i scream when i dream of these things
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Comments: 8
it's one of my older pieces..but i'm glad you like it
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brings out a very AFI-ish sense to it. its really good, though.
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thanks..:smile:
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very good...reminds me of AFI....u just have a couple of typos, in the 2nd to last line u spelled dream as "fream" and in the last line u say, "wheni i..." just take out one of the i's, and after u fix those littel things....ur poem will be perfect
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thanks..glad you like it
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