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daveyrocsmysocs — finally....
Published: 2004-03-25 22:56:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 84; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 3
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Description i lie in the leaves covered in sawdust and dried earth waste, the leaves that the soft breeze still gathered landed on my face to caress the splitting wounds, the mud and sewage still draped across my body, my mouth filled with moss and ash, i lie there strewn across a bloody plane and listened to the bugs hum, i turned and watched as the few cave swallows among many bats flew into a decaying cavity in the earth below a towering mountain, i looked above me and watched the stars form, watched the sun rise, i lie there all night and all day, tears streaming from my face, my quivering jaw muttered a soft mourn as another day slowly drifted by, being here without you is like a bird without wings, having laid here too long only to requiem, my mind is slowly going numb, as my open hand grasps the nearest bit of earth, i surrender as my heart steadily beats to a stop, finally i am free.
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Comments: 11

Interverse [2004-05-08 23:59:36 +0000 UTC]

your poetry in a way could drive people away with its crammed together structure and free verse feel. Too many people like traditional fashions, and not everyone likes traditional fashions, try to keep it a good combonation of both, this looks from first impressions as a solid little rant more than poetry, though artists like emerson and thoreau have gotten away with it, but conspiracies conspiracies >.>!

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daveyrocsmysocs In reply to Interverse [2004-05-09 00:02:44 +0000 UTC]

well thank you fr commenting....your opinion is greatly appriciated

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MagicalDeviantJew64 [2004-04-30 21:43:33 +0000 UTC]

First, I love the old structure. Not much poetry is written as such anymore.

Second, you have a beautiful flow to your writing. Your vocabulary is stunning and effective, and each word appears to roll off the paper.

Congratulations on an articulate job well-done.

......

And you say YOU'RE jealous of ME......

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daveyrocsmysocs In reply to MagicalDeviantJew64 [2004-04-30 21:48:26 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much..you spoil me with flattery...

i'm so glad you like it...yay!

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MagicalDeviantJew64 In reply to daveyrocsmysocs [2004-04-30 21:52:30 +0000 UTC]

Not a problem at all. Please continue to write and update me with your work.

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daveyrocsmysocs In reply to MagicalDeviantJew64 [2004-04-30 21:55:20 +0000 UTC]

yay!..sure...i will probably submit some more tonight..i have a lot on my mind..so most likely you'll be notified a little later

please notify me when you submit too...:woot:

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MagicalDeviantJew64 In reply to daveyrocsmysocs [2004-04-30 22:09:59 +0000 UTC]

I think this site does it automatically. Neither of us shall be without work....... In fact, I may even submit part of one of my novels or other short stories tonight.

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daveyrocsmysocs In reply to MagicalDeviantJew64 [2004-04-30 22:10:59 +0000 UTC]

ooo yay!...

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Disillusioned-One [2004-03-26 00:36:48 +0000 UTC]

... wow. i really like this.

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daveyrocsmysocs In reply to Disillusioned-One [2004-03-26 01:54:12 +0000 UTC]

thanx

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Disillusioned-One In reply to daveyrocsmysocs [2004-03-26 03:32:37 +0000 UTC]

welcome

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