HOME | DD
Published: 2010-11-18 17:50:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 13993; Favourites: 394; Downloads: 356
Redirect to original
Description
It hurted.My stomach was hurting for days. Mama said it was probably ulcer or maybe my drinking of so much Coke. But I ate and I ate and never drank Coke, and still my stomach hurted. Even if Mama went to the place where herbal plants grow to get a bunch of leaves so that she could squish them and put them in my drink, my stomach didn't stop hurting.
Papa said it was time to call the doctor, so he put on his funny straw hat and went to call the doctor. And when he came back, there was a funny-looking man that followed him into our little house. He had long kinky hair with white stuff in it and when he smiled he had very few teeth. His skin was brown, and his clothes was brown, and his hair was brown. He looked like mud.
Papa said, This is Pachiko.
And I said, Hello Pachiko.
And Pachiko smiled with the very few teeth that he had. Then he touched my stomach. He touched it for a long time, long enough for me to ask why he was touching it.
Then he took his hand off my stomach and looked at me. I wondered why his eyes grew big and his skin turned from the color of tree trunks to the color of Papa's coffee. Then he said to Mama and Papa, "Let's go out," in his funny voice.
They talked outside, but I couldn't hear them. At first their voices were very quiet and then Mama screamed! Then Papa got all angry and started yelling things I didn't understand. Were they getting mad at Pachiko? Was he being a bad doctor?
I did not move from the chair I was sitting on until they came back inside. Pachiko went home already. Only Mama and Papa came in the door.
Pachiko the doctor went home already, but my stomach still hurted.
Mama hugged me immediately. It was scary because she was crying.
Why are you crying, Mama? Did Pachiko do something bad to you? I asked.
She just kept on crying. Papa was smoking a cigarette and staring out the window. That was something he did when he was thinking hard about something, like when it was still months before the harvest and he doesn't know where to get money.
They wanted me to sleep on their bed that night and I was really happy to. I lied down between them and listened to their talking while they thought I was asleep.
They were talking about a bird and how fast it was growing. There was a bird that they needed to get rid of.
Then Mama said something about me going to Trina's house and eating the food her grandma cooked.
You mean Old Lady Gila is a—? Papa asked.
Then Mama said probably and she said that Old Lady Gila must have put a stone in my food. But I didn't remember eating any stone.
Papa said something that sounded like Aaaargh, Why my daughter?
Then Mama talked about the bird again. She said that the bird needs to be killed because it will grow big and it will become hungry. And I will be hungry too and people will die. Mama seemed very sad.
Then I heard Papa cry. I wanted to reach to him, to hug him and say, Don't cry Papa, I'm not hungry yet, but I fell asleep before I could.
I had a funny dream that night.
I dreamed I was flying, and then I went into Nino's window. Nino and I are classmates. It was funny because in my dream, before I even knew it, Nino was lying on the floor with a big hole in his chest. And then instead of hands I had claws, and in my claws there is a soft red thing that is shaped like a mango. It was thumping like it was alive.
The most funniest part was that I ate it, gobbled it up like fried rice.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Papa woke me up early today, there was no sun yet.
We're going to the woods, Papa said.
And I got up even though I was very sleepy, washed my face and followed him.
He is carrying his really big gun as we walk. He uses it to shoot animals and scare people, but mostly to scare people. And I ask him why he bringed it but he don't answer. He just keeps on walking, and his face is as sour as an iba fruit. He doesn't even whistle the tune of It's a small World like he always does.
I ask, "Are we going to shoot birds today, Papa?"
He looks at me, and his face is the same as the doctor when he looked at me funny. Then he become serious again and looks at the trees.
He says, "Yes, babe, we are."
Related content
Comments: 419
Aeltari In reply to ??? [2011-01-28 21:34:48 +0000 UTC]
Unseen and unknown is terrifying to people. It always makes me giggle when I see movies with evil spirits and monster ghosts like in Ghostbusters. Those things do not exist. Angry spirits yes, those sure can but not monsters like in the movies
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Tama-Tenshi In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 22:35:05 +0000 UTC]
I love this, I really do... absolutely fantastic piece. I thought at first she was pregnant, then I realised it was an actual bird. I love it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Tama-Tenshi In reply to Gricken [2011-01-22 15:22:42 +0000 UTC]
Ah, one of the few who get a DD and still reply to ever comment
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to Tama-Tenshi [2011-01-22 15:55:38 +0000 UTC]
It took me hours to get through all the comments though. But it's the least I could do for people who took the time to read and comment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Tama-Tenshi In reply to Gricken [2011-01-22 16:35:56 +0000 UTC]
Aww, haha. Yeah
Some people just leave the comments, and its like "ugh whats the point" -.-
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to Tama-Tenshi [2011-01-22 17:08:18 +0000 UTC]
They are either mean or don't have internet connection at home.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
purplecuriosity In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 22:34:59 +0000 UTC]
I thought the killing of the daughter at the end was due to cultural influence on the parents part. :/ The same things happen in Africa, no?
Very sweet story. Refreshing. :'D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to purplecuriosity [2011-01-22 11:35:20 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, sort of. I don't know what happens in Africa though.
Thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
PurpleMelons In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 22:23:19 +0000 UTC]
It's wonderful... but what exactly is going on? Is her Papa going to shoot her or something?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to PurpleMelons [2011-01-22 11:34:40 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. Well, she's turning into something and yes, he plans to shoot her.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Wilford111 In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 22:10:32 +0000 UTC]
What's going on? Is she pregnant?
👍: 0 ⏩: 3
Gricken In reply to Wilford111 [2011-01-22 11:32:23 +0000 UTC]
Umm... she's turning into a monster?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SilverAstrid In reply to Wilford111 [2011-01-21 23:19:33 +0000 UTC]
As far as I can tell, it's a cultural thing. Myths or superstitions make the parents believe the girl has a bird growing in her... one that either will go out and kill villagers, or one she will become that will go out and kill. Either way, unpleasant. So the father has to kill her. Old Lady Gila is something of a witch, who caused this to happen to the child.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
PurpleMelons In reply to Wilford111 [2011-01-21 22:21:51 +0000 UTC]
That's what I was wondering at first... but why would eating a stone cause it?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SilverAstrid In reply to PurpleMelons [2011-01-21 23:19:39 +0000 UTC]
As far as I can tell, it's a cultural thing. Myths or superstitions make the parents believe the girl has a bird growing in her... one that either will go out and kill villagers, or one she will become that will go out and kill. Either way, unpleasant. So the father has to kill her. Old Lady Gila is something of a witch, who caused this to happen to the child.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
mirukara In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 22:04:38 +0000 UTC]
this is sad but a very good story congrats on the DD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ShadowsPuppetxxx In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 21:49:08 +0000 UTC]
This story is lovely in a sad, haunting way. Most stories from a child's point of view are but you captured that really well.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hyoko-x3 In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 21:47:46 +0000 UTC]
Why is everyone always trying to confuse me? I actually wanna know what's going on all the time and not just wondering D:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to Hyoko-x3 [2011-01-22 11:09:26 +0000 UTC]
Umm.. which part are you confused about?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hyoko-x3 In reply to Gricken [2011-01-22 21:11:47 +0000 UTC]
uhm the part on what is going on with the girl and what the parents think and such =/
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to Hyoko-x3 [2011-01-25 13:45:12 +0000 UTC]
Well, the gist of it is that she's turning into a monster and her parents plan to kill her.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hyoko-x3 In reply to Gricken [2011-01-25 16:27:40 +0000 UTC]
is she really turning into a monster or is it just what the parents think?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
DunnyCT In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 21:40:08 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on the DD! That was a lot of fun to read. But... and the curiosity will KILL me otherwise - would I be right in saying that some part of this was based on a myth that begins with the letter m? I don't want to spoil it for anyone if I'm right, but I'd really like to know if I am - thanks in advance!
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Gricken In reply to DunnyCT [2011-01-22 11:08:50 +0000 UTC]
Mebbe. Are you from the Philippines?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DunnyCT In reply to Gricken [2011-01-22 18:56:56 +0000 UTC]
Definitely not! More like diametrically opposite. Ish. I've just read a lot about myths and stuff; though I did need to google it a few times to refresh my memory. Congrats again, though!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to DunnyCT [2011-01-25 13:40:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! Wow, I guess you really read a lot on myths to have encountered this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SilverAstrid In reply to DunnyCT [2011-01-21 23:20:12 +0000 UTC]
Could you tell me what you think it is? A note maybe? I'm quite curious, and I love myths and legends like that ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
PetulantReflection In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 21:17:00 +0000 UTC]
Upsetting and beautiful.
It will be hard to sleep tonight with the pain in my stomach without imagining a hole in my husband's chest.
...In a good way?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
craazhy In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 21:13:44 +0000 UTC]
Whether or not you are a flawless writer, you are most certainly a perfect writer.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to craazhy [2011-01-22 11:06:45 +0000 UTC]
I... I... Thank you so much for saying that! It's such a compliment! But I do not feel that I deserve it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
squirrels-are-evil In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 21:12:38 +0000 UTC]
the perspective is played out really well, you build up quite a lot of empathy with the small girl...which only sets up for the ending
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to squirrels-are-evil [2011-01-22 11:04:40 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! But I'm sorry that you made a sad face.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
squirrels-are-evil In reply to Gricken [2011-01-23 01:02:27 +0000 UTC]
It's quite alright Better anyone get an emotional response from your work than none at all
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
becloss In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 20:52:58 +0000 UTC]
For some reason, this meant very much to me. I don't really know why ... But I think it's great Thank's for submitting!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to becloss [2011-01-22 11:03:56 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome.
Wait, why are you thanking me?
I should be the one thanking you for liking it. So thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
kdfict1on In reply to ??? [2011-01-21 20:48:52 +0000 UTC]
i'd love to know what you were thinking as you wrote this. Very intriguing, i love how you left it up to the reader to interpret. Well done, congrats!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to kdfict1on [2011-01-22 11:02:29 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much!
Well, it's somewhat based on Filipino folklore. We have creatures called the "aswang" that are people by day and monsters by night. These aswangs can't die unless they pass a stone over to someone else. That stone must be taken orally. I can't explain much more than that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
kdfict1on In reply to Gricken [2011-01-22 12:50:18 +0000 UTC]
wow, thats really interesting! now i need to look up some Filipino folklore thanks so much for replying
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gricken In reply to kdfict1on [2011-01-22 14:12:05 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome. Thank you for reading.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
<= Prev | | Next =>