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Hannerd — Without Even Knowing
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Published: 2008-06-04 11:10:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 54; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
Without Even KnowingFrom the pit of my gut, this feeling rolls forward
Up up up until it reaches the pinnacle
To fall again
I fall with it
My body unable to be lifted as the feeling once again rolls
Up up up
Down down down
My heart is racing
Blood flowing into my face to try and bring clarity to my clouded mind
Instead of warm, I am cold
My pulse is slow
Slow
Slow
Steady and calm
Cold and aware
Now is my time
I am dying
I am going to die
I am going to die
Die on my mother’s bathroom floor
Because my body is too frail
Too weak to keep breathing
To weak to even lift my head
I am going to die
Why am I not afraid?
I am not even crying
Because I am not afraid
I am cold
I am weak
I am alone
I want to tell someone
Reach out and say something
My mouth cannot move
My voice cannot call
My fingers can barely move
But I have a phone
I may not be able to speak
But before this slow calm cold takes me
I can say I love you
My fingers must move
Slow but they move
I must do this before I can go
Must let you know
I love you
I love you
I love you I love you I love you
You were what kept me here until now
I find your name
I send my love
The last thing I can ever give
Nearly immediately you love me back
You don’t ask why
You don’t hesitate
You love me
You care
Help finds me but I cannot move
I have nothing left
But you love me
And I know I have that
I find the will to pull myself up
You love me
I am loved
My face is against the counter
Marble as cold as I
My face is the color of death
I stare at my eyes staring back at me
There is no life there
My skin has no color
There is no life
I am cold
But you love me
You care
I can’t let go
I can’t let you go
Your love is the hand around me
Pulling me up
Your love is murmur I hear
I don’t know what you say
But I know how you feel
Your love is what lets me swallow
Your love is the nourishment I swallow
I take it in
Your love fills me
And as I swallow
It becomes easier
I feel life come slowly
Slowly back
Your love is what called it to me
With your love I found it again
I still feel so weak
I still have the pallor of death
But I know
As long as I have your love
That weakness, that cold
Death
Death will not have me today
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Comments: 11
Lovely 
I love you too much for anything to happen to you!
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Lol, Well I'm not planning on any repeat performances. But from now on, if I ever go into any kind of surgery, I will ask someone to watch over me closely for at least a little while.
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Glad you're doing okay.
I almost fell down the stairs after my wisdom teeth were removed (don't ask O_O)
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Oh dear, that's not good!! Did you catch yourself or did someone else?
Other than the episode above, right after I was pretty okay. A lot of repeating myself /directly/ after (high from the anesthesia) and lots of being sleepy.
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The dentist assistant was nice enough to stop me from walking over the ledge. XD
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Not eat for 20+ hours and lost a good deal of blood. Wisdom teeth.
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Oh, so while I'm thinking of it: You know how we were looking at that video on like "How To Be A Stripper"?
Well so that same day Mag came over and we walked down to the convenience store and in that same plaza was a gym-place SPECIFICALLY FOR STRIPPER CLASSES.
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imagine what people we know are going to think about this comment.....lmao
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