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And now as the last petal wilts,
Just as the last lover grieves,
Now that her hand has slipped from my grasp,
There dawns a coldness in the coming of eves.
“And what I wouldn’t give to have not seen to this,
This longing and why—
Why the tears of joy now fall in sorrow,
When deep inside, I knew she would one day say Goodbye.”

Still even this solitude, this silence,
Cannot ever wash away, cannot fade,
The memories that once danced among darkness,
Illumating the bleak with their brilliance arrayed.
“Yet there is no way to see through this,
This impending darkness,” I cry—
Cry with tears of ruin and devastation,
Still my love for you I can never deny.

Perhaps I am indeed reaping what I have sown,
My actions working the field as scythe,
I now harvest the seeds that have grown,
Those planted with conceited bliss in what I can only see as my forever-gone past life.
“And now I realize I may never see beyond and see through this,
This severance,” I sigh—
Sigh to pass the time, cast away the tears that are now falling,
Those of which I can never defy.

I will be willing to be taken as I am,
Have my aching hands bound;
A crimson river flows down
Without a single whisper, a sound.
“Should I succumb and refuse to see through this,
This darkness?” I lie—
Lie awake, shattered in shadow,
Shedding the blood and tears I can no longer deny.

Still in this darkness, I can see,
I can remember you face;
I can remember the beauty, the splendor
In which you held your unspoken grace.
“Yet I cannot see past and through this,
This longing of my—
My immortal darkness in which
I will no longer confide."

Bless me, cleanse me, relieve
This lurking shadow inside;
With and in only you love will ever my mortal heart confide.
“And I dare say I can see through this,
This longing, so shy away, shy—
Shy away phantom of unwanted shade and of shadow;
Your final end now draws nigh.”

And now as the last petal wilts,
Just as the last lover grieves,
I see there will be hope and reassurance
In the coldness of coming eves.
I now am beginning to see past and through this,
This revelation that cries—
Cries out a song, which speaks “You will always have my love;
And there will exist no more Goodbyes.”

(12.13.04-12.14.04)