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Published: 2005-04-21 21:54:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 115; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description
I.Demise
In darkness, a priest sits next a bedside,
No lamp to light but no desire to see
The face to whom so many was denied
Although yet caused o so much harmony.
The Body given and the Blood of Lamb,
A cross—sign the anointing on his head—
A sight of Canaan and of Abraham,
And with deliv’rance last of rites are read.
Released, those eyes will open nevermore,
Last breath moves through and out a tired lung,
No way to heal a bleeding wound so soar,
Nor to un-sing the song which has been sung.
And since thy heart has silenced ‘hind thy breast,
It won’t be long till you are laid to rest.
II.
Wake
Said priest here visits, ‘side a lonesome grave,
No mourners here—no passers-by—‘sides rain.
Nor children stand ‘twixt mothers’ arms to brave
The loss, to comfort mothers’ wails of pain.
No fathers pray for only child arise
From sleep of death whose path the child came ‘cross.
Nor darkened veils to shadow reddened eyes
Cascade o’er faces locked in stares of loss.
No failed attempts to not show signs of grief,
Hands smoth’ring sobs for guilts of past disgrace.
Nor stifled bouts of pain however brief
Reflect in tears, nor on a saddened face.
All’s calm, all’s silent in this day so bleak;
No mourners visit here and still I speak:
III.
Eulogy
“Today we gather, hope of final peace,
For our dear friend whose life did touch all whom
Did speak, did dream, did wish for a release
From loneliness, gain comfort of the womb.
Yet murdered were you in night’s slightest hour,
And stabbed with thy own dagger in thy sleep—
By whom?—a man with broken heart so dour
For you did leave his life, no love to keep.
Each lonely day you caused and heedless why;
Chance of redemption, Love, I pray to thee:
Take not my weary own soul into thy
Own lonesome grave in darkness you took he.
Alas beneath the earth, last words for thee,
O, Love interred, how hardly we knew ye.”
IV.
Burial
Now as I gaze upon thy withered mien
I can no more say to you a goodbye
Than can the sun turn brilliant shades of green;
Yet further sight of you I must deny.
And ashes be as ashes, dust be dust,
Black earth in withered, trembling hand of my,
Released to breeze, and now the wind a-gust
Drops soil to darkness wherein you shall lie.
Alas, o, Love, myself shall die alone,
And now in absence of your love preferred
Fore’er cursed I am with a heart of stone,
And so I must say now, o, Love interred:
If this is but the last I see your face
I say it is this preacher’s fall from grace.
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Comments: 13
sergiofx [2005-12-20 22:05:04 +0000 UTC]
you know, I am not really a fan of these kinda of stuff, but this right here is a winner by all means.
I cannot understand how you did this, seriously, this looks like the work of a pro... did u really write it yourself?
I love every part of it. The whole mood of silence, loneliness and sorrow, really touches me.... man, I can read this over and over...
I am not just blowing smokes here... seriously, this is a great piece. I would definitly work on more of this if i were you.
Now, am off to read Requiem in Autumn, cant wait
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
learntoswim In reply to sergiofx [2005-12-20 23:35:36 +0000 UTC]
Yes, I wrote it myself. Thank your for your input, its always very appreciated. Someday I plan to do it from Love and from the murderer's perspective...someday. Maybe even from the girl's. Thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
HiddenRelevance [2005-04-26 15:33:34 +0000 UTC]
hmm... i love how you've pulled together a story within this... it's stunning chico.. wonderful as always!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
learntoswim In reply to HiddenRelevance [2005-04-26 17:07:57 +0000 UTC]
Thank you and its greatly appreciated as always.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
megharah [2005-04-25 19:18:33 +0000 UTC]
wow...
i love Burial... is wonderful... the whole requien is wonderful...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
learntoswim In reply to megharah [2005-04-26 02:18:29 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. Muchas gracias!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
FaernaPhira [2005-04-25 02:02:54 +0000 UTC]
I love the third stanza of I. Demise!! It speaks so much, great wording! Yet again the third stanza in the second part is my favorite too . . . However, the second and final stanzas are my favorite in the final part!! Overall it is wonderful
I love how you added onto it, with better structure and the parts are so creative --> Wonderful!
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
FaernaPhira In reply to FaernaPhira [2005-05-30 23:40:20 +0000 UTC]
Yes, Im sorry about that . . . My primary username is samiell . . . . . Im on there most of the time =S
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
learntoswim In reply to FaernaPhira [2005-04-25 12:46:12 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for your comments and your conflictedness. Im just beginning to like this myself, but having a hard time. You havent commented on anything of mine for awhile. So its always nice to see you back.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
enchanted-black-rose [2005-04-22 20:21:00 +0000 UTC]
I like this version better than the other one. I just...I don't really know how to explain what I like about it...I just do. Demise is probably my favourite one.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1