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Numbers
Published: 2009-03-01 01:39:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 4809; Favourites: 146; Downloads: 208
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Description
NumbersI could not stop seeing
parallels between words
and human flesh.
A poem that could rise up,
hunching its back, a
concentration camp victim
with bare ribs; this
language rolls like the ridges
and dips of a spine, sticking
up through paper skin.
And theyβre using the peaks
as an abacus, counting them
as they die.
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Comments: 74
Hi, I'm a reader for #Elocutionists ! 
If you like it, I'd love to add it to our group's Wordpress blog. What do you think?
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Oh thank you o_o Yes you may add it to the Wordpress blog.
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i wasnt sure if i'd commented or just faved and run, so i thought i would now. it's a beautful piece, i love the final lines that go:
"And theyβre using the peaks
as an abacus, counting them
as they die."
stunning imagery.
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Thank you very much
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Wow, glad I clicked on your rhyme. Saw it randomly on the bottom of login page! Can't wait to check out your gallery when I have the time 
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Found it on accident, and I usually don't read poetry, but I like it!
Fave!
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haha thank you. I thought so too.
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I would have to agree with ... it seems incomplete. Good start though.
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What would make it seem complete?
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Some more of your images... I found it interesting that you entitled the piece "Numbers," while the content of the poem is a comparison/contrast of words and flesh. You're the poet though, so ultimately it is what you make it to be, whether it comes full circle for me or not.
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Ahh, well with the title I was referencing the last stanza. And it was written at a time when I was studying the second world war and I was feeling strongly affected by the holocaust, in terms of the title.
"Some more of your images..." haha, hmm, I'm not sure that shows me what you mean by making it more complete 
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I suppose I just wish it were longer. I feel as though more could have been said--it's like you brought me in only to immediately let me go... If that doesn't make any sense, don't worry about it. It is a good poem.
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I do see what you're saying; but I think it would more helpful to understand from a thematic standpoint.
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Feels unfinished, if I may say so. Good imagery, just not enough of it.
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Interesting. What would make it feel finished?
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Probably another verse, not quite sure what I would add. But it feels like you stopped in mid-thought at the end, and that is what I meant.
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You can see it, too, though, am I right? Or am I crazy, for thinking this is anything less than the pinnacle, seeing as how it got a DD...
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Oh no, I don't think DDs are completely and utterly perfect in every way
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I think they're mostly overrated, but yeah.
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good for bragging rights?
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Yeah 
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True enough. Good to meet people, period, though.
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Yes! Easy with a DD because the vast majority are lit people
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wow! this is great for a short poem, great descriptions :3
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Thank you! 
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Thank you, and for the fave
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I've always written shorter poetry for some reason.
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Well then let this sit until you realize what else is supposed to happen in it.
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And let me know when you do.
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My goodness, even though this is a short poem, it really has a strong impression. Great job
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Thank you very much
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thank you very much (:
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Haunting, powerful imagery crafted in such a bleak, almost minimalistic, way so as to emphasise the emotive content. This is pace and pitch perfect.
'And they're using the peaks
as an abacus, counting them
as they die' β₯
Congrats on the DD β thoroughly deserved.
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Thanks very much!
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You're welcome! (:
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Wonderful piece of poetry! It's nice to see a change from a prose Daily Deviation - and this really fits fantastically. Well done! And congratulations
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