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I want to ask you all a question, all in all it's a very simple question, but firs I want to develop some background to my curiosity.

I've spent the majority of my life without meaningful female company, no idea why, and it doesn't matter since that isn't the issue. Now, I've been told I'm a nice guy, and I like to think that's true, kind, caring, considerate, sensitive, affectionate, etc blah blah blah. But still, girls have passed me up for other men, now fine, that's their choice entirely, I don't begrudge them that, and frankly these days I don't care. But I've seen it happen to other guys, my friends sometimes, nice enough blokes, caring, kind bleeeeh, you get the idea. But through all that I notice a recurring theme, so I did some digging, trawled places on the internet that are best left buried under the piles of refuse they were created in, and found that this theme presented itself almost universally, in a large majority of females, not simply XX chromosome "females" but those who chose to live their life in that manner as well. I spoke to plenty of people, got their opinions, asked those who exhibited this pattern and those that didn't and simply could not reach a consensus.

So now I put the query to you my mature watchers. The pattern I see is this. Majoratively in logical speculation, pop media and literary essays, many romantic involvements revolve around the stereotypical "nice-guy" shy, timid, kind, blah-dy-blah, and you would think that a woman would prefer the company of a man like that wouldn't you? If any of my female watchers disagree please let me know. Yet this theme, this pattern i've been seeing, despite romantic comedies, novels, etc, women, girls, ladies, all tend to blow off the guy that would be kind to them, get them flowers, ask them how their day was while running them a relaxing bath and cooking dinner, instead they immediately pick up on the "bad-boy" the arrogant, aggressive, chauvinistic, dangerous, irresponsible, etc. so my question is this. Why?

Why is this attractive? Where is the appeal in a man who, instead of respecting you and being kind to you, will use and abuse you like a fleshlight then throw you away when he can't be bothered to clean you out? (Sorry, let that analogy get away from me) You see my point? There are plenty of nice guys out there, I should know, I've met plenty, so it's obviously not lack of choice. Now, reading, looking and talking, I have come across a few theories.

1. Instinct, maybe it dates back to survival of the fittest, the strongest man is the most viable mate, etc, that's possible, retarded, but possible. It is true that a strong man would, in theory produce strong offspring. But surely, being "Sapient" implies that we have the capacity to rise above our instinctive desires and drives? Besides, being loud and violent doesn't necessarily make you strong, I good friend of mine, an Irishman called Stirling, huge guy, built like a brick chimney and also one of the nicest guys you'll meet, very strong physically but he actually respected women and somehow that made him weak? I don't see it.

2. "I can change him" This is just plain retarded, honestly? You date a guy who treats you like shit, despite alll his other girlfriends, because you think that YOU, finally, might make him a decent man? There are decent guys lining up outside and you chose to force a bastard into becoming one? Are you a masochist? Seriously you'd be more sensible if you lived in New York, wanted to go to Rome, and BUILT YOURSELF A PLANE OUT OF CARDBOARD! At least then you have a single hope in hell of succeeding!

*ADDITIONAL*
Ok, here I'm going to put in a few theories put forward by ~alucard10w, and I'm putting it here because the first theory relates to the "I can change him" theory. And that relating theory is that there ARE quite a few nice guys out there, and that makes us boring. Yep, that's right guys, we're boring. If guys are kind and respectful to you all your life then yeah, when a bastard springs up out of nowhere then yes it will seem new and exciting and daring! (Gasp shock horror) But seriously, that's just a blatant depart from common sense, you said it yourself, there are nice guys everywhere so pick one!

The second theory presented by ~alucard10w is that of the world. Many people may see niceness, kindness, respect and shyness as childish naive behaviour because children are like that... well, some are and that aggressive, hard-bitten and bitter bastards are somehow worldly and mature. No, they are actually pretty childish, "Honey eat your food" "NO! Don't wanna!" oh he's such a rebel, he lives by his own rules... yyyyeeeeaaaahhhhh.... no. Look, I'm not the nicest person alive, I used to be a naive little boy, dreaming of love, marriage, 3 kids and a dog, then i turned into a teenage asshole, and now I'm a 20 year old guy who respects women, is nice to people and actually has a conscience but retains a certain bitterness and obsession with firearms. My point is you don't have to be a fuck-tard to be mature.

Now this is a theory of my own, although ~alucard10w did remind me of it, thanks for that mate. It's this. The "Daddy Complex" (cue dun dun daaa music) Yup, I'm going there. Admittedly this may not count as an individual theory, since it requires one of the previous to create the absentee/abusive/alcoholic/whatever father in the first place but you get the idea. So a girl is mistreated by whatever vices her father has and that naturally screws her up, so when she meets a man her age with these hang ups (or older, younger, whatever) and tries to cultivate a relationship, craving his attention and acceptance in a pseudo-delusional attempt to find that same affection and acceptance in her own father by emulating him precariously and unhealthily through her lover. I won't even dignify this theory with an opinion but on a serious note, these girls need psychiatric help.

Ok, another theory put out there by ~mouseluva presents the possibility of "We accept the love we think we deserve" Inadvertently implying that women who like bad boys ARE masochists, entirely possible, if we thinks we deserve something then we tend to accept it at face value, but if we believe something is too good for us then we automatically, and sometimes subconsciously, try to find the angle, bribe, whatever that got us here in the first place, when we don't find it, we then sabotage said thing for the simple fact that we don't think we're good enough. But the oposite is also true, if we think we deserve punishment or something that is inherently damaging then we will try our hardest, consciously and subconsciously to prolong it, even going as far as to convince ourselves that things aren't as bad as they seem while you sit alone on a sunday night reading a text from your man telling you he won't be back til tomorrow morning because he's "Out with the guys" Which any guy can tell you is very thinly veiled "I'm boning another woman" so yeah, masochistic on the subconscious level.
*END*

3. The social factor. Don't deny it, the media hypes up "bad-boys" like they're going out of fashion, even though the same thing has been going on since the 50s. Sure, they've changed their style but movies are always emphasising the love between a dark, mysterious, and dangerous guy and the sweet, young, idealistic girl. Just no. This is as bad is the whole "Size Zero" craze, at least that mostly got shot down in its infancy.

And finally 4. Divine intervention. Because that's ALL I have. I can't understand it, and that irritates me (yes I HAVE to understand everything)

So, ladies and gents out there, please, give me your input, do you disagree? Agree? Why? Do you even by some miracle have a definitive answer? Or even just an idea I didn't think of? I want to hear your thoughts.