HOME | DD

Description
(Hello readers. Today, we're looking at a Kid Icarus fanfic guilty of OCxCanon with little justification and smut. Eris couldn't be here today, so I brought Mak instead. Before we begin, let's read the summary and author's notes.)

Sequel to "My Dark-Winged Angel". 3 months have passed since Dark Pit and Lilina started going out and when Dark Pit returns from a mission, he asks Lilina if she wants to go further into their relationship. Is she ready to go further or not? CONTAINS LEMON! Dark PitxOc

I DO NOT OWN KID ICARUS! I ONLY OWN MY OCS!

This is a sequel to "My Dark-Winged Angel"! Enjoy ^^ As for the age thing, I have Pit and Dark Pit 18-years old, in spite how they look.

(Noka: According to Shigeru Miyamoto, Pit and his doppelganger are physically 14-ish. And how old is your OC? Let's find out!
Mak: Rather not.)

It's been over a few months since Dark Pit and Lilina started going out and they were happy with being together. Lilina was waiting for Dark Pit to return from his mission with Pit down below Skyworld as she was standing on her balcony outside, enjoying the beautiful weather.

(Noka: Show, don't tell. What do they talk about? Show us why they love each other!
Mak: I read the prequel, there's not much being said about the relationship other than the "I've admired you from afar" tripe.)

She looked down at her hands for a bit before she heard some footsteps approach her and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her.

"What's a girl like you out here?" a familiar voice asked in her ear quietly.

(Noka: I think she accidentally a word.)

Lilina smiled and turned to face Dark Pit, still in his arms. "Waiting for a guy she loves to come back and enjoying the nice weather."

Chuckling, Dark Pit said, "Well, your guy is back."

"How did the mission go with Pit?" Lilina asked.

(Mak: All this fluff obscures their shallow love interest. Makes me want to puke.
Noka: Not yet, please! We haven't even gotten to the good part!)

Shrugging a little, Dark Pit replied, "It was a bit tough once we found our target, but other than that, it was alright. Did you miss me?"

The young girl laughed. "Of course I missed you. I always miss you when you're not here," she said.

(Mak: CLINGER ALERT! Hah, kidding.
Noka: I'm more worried about the butchering of Dark Pit's character. He's pretty anti-social, canonically speaking.
Mak: Great, he's been wimpified here.)

The dark-winged angel smirked. "Same for me. When I'm on a mission, I always think of you. WHen I think of you, I long to come back and be with you, Lilina."

(Mak: Bet he couldn't concentrate when that's all he thought about. Love turns people into dopes!
Noka: ~Always I want to be with you~
Mak: Don't start! You know how much that song ruined my life!)

Then he leaned in and kissed Lilina softly as she kissed him back with her arms around his neck. The kiss lasted for a few seconds before they pulled away. Lilina put her head on Dark Pit's shoulder, her arms now around his torso, closing her eyes. They stood there as they held each other. They love being together and it felt so right for them.

(Noka: This is written like a soap from the 90s.
Mak: It's more of a sign their hearts are having orgies. Yowza!)

"Hey, Lilina...we talk about something?" Dark Pit asked.

(Noka: Again, you accidentally a word.
Mak: Oh no, are they going to break up? Real sad.)

Pulling away a little to look at him, Lilina asked, "What is it? Did something happen?"

(Noka: "Honey, I'm a loner. You just gotta give me space!")

Shaking his head, Dark Pit replied, "No, nothing happened. It's...something to do with our relationship."

Lilina said, nodding, "Ok...What about it?"

"We've been together for a few months now, right?" the dark-winged angel said.

(Noka: They've been together, yet the important stuff is omitted.
Mak: Lazy writing, really needs to try harder.)

"Yeah, and?" the girl asked.

Dark Pit said, "Well..." He looked right into her eyes. "I was thinking...I'm ready to take it to the next step...whenever you are too."

(Mak: I'm guessing that involves a little ess en em. If that's the case, I'm out.
Noka: JUST WAIT. IT GETS BETTER.
Mak: Fine, only to satisfy my cruel curiosity. How it trolls me so.)

Lilina widened her eyes a little before blushing, realizing what he meant. "A-Are you sure?"

"Well, yeah, that is if you're ready too," the dark-winged angel said with a nod.

(Noka: No need to remind us which one you're about to screw.
Mak: I counted. Three times she refers to his wings. Now I want buffalo wings and hot sauce.
Noka: Keep counting.)

Looking down, the 18-year-old girl thought about it and deep down, Dark Pit thought that this wasn't such a good time to ask her this, but he had to! He even got Palutena's approval about them taking their relationship a bit more deep as long as they don't do anything they'll regret doing. However, he saw Lilina look up at him and nodded.

(Noka: Sex doesn't necessarily make a relationship deeper.
Mak: Only more interesting, and dangerous. Not to mention "do anything they'll regret doing" is redundant.)

She said, "Alright. I'm ready too. But promise me one thing?"

Dark Pit asked, "What is it, Lilina?"

(Noka: "Don't tell anyone of our real age difference.")

Lilina then asked, "Can you promise to be gentle? This is my first time after all."

With a smile, Dark Pit said, "Yeah, you can count on that. I can never imagine myself hurting you."

(Mak: Ten bucks says his canon persona would've gone Chris Brown on this chick.
Noka: In the game, he does attack a female.
Mak: Ten bucks it is! Hand over the dough.)

"Thank you...Pittoo..." Lilina softly spoke, smiling.

(Noka: Especially after calling him that.
Mak: Agreed, awful nickname.
Noka: He made it clear in Uprising he hates his nicknames.)

Then they kissed softly, holding each other close. Lilina led him inside the room, closing her balcony door and closing the curtains after pulling away. She walked over to lock the door so no one can interrupt and when she turned, Dark Pit's lips were on hers again, earning a little loud moan from her as she kissed him back.

(Noka: That last sentence is way too long.
Mak: I hate run-on sentences, they sound like my aunt Gertrude when she nags people.)

He then turned her around, his lips still on hers, led her to the bed, and laid her down, his knees supporting him from crushing her. Then Dark Pit slowly put his tongue in her mouth and Lilina allowed it as she felt his tongue explore her mouth, feeling her body tingle. She put her hands behind his neck as their tongues were touching, some drool coming down the corner of her mouth.

(Mak: Is this what they call "Ikea Erotica"? So far, no boner.
Noka: Don't worry, you won't get one.)

Dark Pit then reached a hand down and rubbed one of her breasts, though they were both still fully clothed, but he didn't care at the moment. Lilina moaned at this and then felt his hand go under her shirt to stroke her chest, circling around her breasts playfully. Lilina moaned softly again and then Dark Pit moved from her lips to her neck as he started to plant soft kisses there, earning a soft gasp from the girl.

She moved her head back a little to give him more access, which he happily accepted as he planted kisses around her neck. After a while, he removed her shirt and tossed it on the floor next to the bed, revealing her white bra. Lilina then watched Dark Pit remove his clothing, only leaving his boxers on before she took her clothes off, leaving her with her bra and panties on.

(Mak: Sure getting hot in there, about freezing temperature.
Noka: Why does the guy have to remove her clothes?
Mak: Because it's called being a gentleman?)

Lilina looked away and quietly said, "This is embarrassing..."

(Mak: If you think this is embarassing, wait till your parents find out you've been writing this stuff!)

Moving her head to have her look at him, Dark Pit softly said, "Don't hide yourself...I love all of you, no matter what, Lilina..."

(Mak: So that means even if she gets herpes, which is pretty cute to say the least.
Noka: Now YOU'RE out of character. What happened to being crass?
Mak: Sugar dissolved it, ho-hum.)

Nodding, the girl said, "I trust you, Pittoo."

(Mak: Not after he would've and should've slapped you twice.)

Then they kissed again and this time it was deep and passionate. They explored each other's mouths again, but with more passion this time.

(Noka: DING! One order of redundancy brought to us by you.
Mak: This kind of repetition doesn't convince me it's passionate or clever writing. Author, you're *this* close to bordering the fauxlosophic.
Noka: Smut wasn't meant to be "clever" anyway.)

Then Dark Pit bent down to plant kisses on her chest as Lilina moaned with a smile on her face. She was loving this moment as her hands were stroking his back, feeling his wings a little as they were flapping a little.

(Noka: Wingboner!
Mak: You sicko.
Noka: It's a joke revolving around ponies, calm down.
Mak: That makes it even worse.)

Then her bra was taken off and then Dark Pit started to suck on one of her nipples while his other hand was playing with the other, having Lilina moan like crazy as she held on to the sheets to keep her from going crazy. Then her other breast got the same treatment before his lips went down to past her bellybutton, and felt him stop.

(Mak: Freezing temperature.)

Looking up at her, Dark Pit asked, "You ready for the next part?"

Lilina said, "Yeah...I am..."

(Noka: Those poor ellipses!
Mak: Take a shot, dude.
Noka: We're not playing the drinking game.
Mak: So I've bloated my bladder alone for no reason. That stinks.)

After that, Dark Pit removed her panties and then rubbed her womanhood slowly, which caused Lilina to gasp with pleasure.

(Mak: Ya know, if you're going to attempt writing explicit smut, you shouldn't censor body part names just because it makes you feel uneasy. Chances are this girl is too young to write this kind of content. In simpler words, WHAT THE HELL?
Noka: If there is censorship in smut, it oughta cover up bad sex scenes.)

He rubbed it more slowly and then stroked it gently as if to tease her.

(Mak: DOI, that's what foreplay is! Water is wet! Everything is shaped like itself!)

After a few moments, she felt him put a finger inside her and let out a cry. Dark Pit moved his finger in and out of her slowly while leaning up to kiss her gently, getting kissed back in return. With his other hand he rubbed one of her breasts again as they frenched again.

(Noka: There's that word from My Immortal.
Mak: They sliced each other into strips? Hey, that's what that word means.
Noka: But we're not talking about french fries.
Mak: I wish we had some.)

After a while, he pulled his finger out and then backed down a little. He then took off his boxers, revealing his manhood and LIlina blushed wildly at this.

(Mak: It must be a twelve-incher.)

"You ready?" Dark Pit asked.

"Yeah."

"I'll be slow and gentle."

"Alright."

(Noka: Angels don't have genitals.
Mak: It's just for convenience, who's stopping the author from letting her OC screw genderless people?)

Dark Pit then slowly inserted his manhood inside her and Lilina felt a sharp pain go through her body as she let out a loud grunt.

(Mak: If you wake the neighbors, you'd have hard luck convincing them you just mishandled a pig.)

Dark Pit softly kissed her cheeks and lips as he whispered soft, comforting words into her ear while slowly moving in and out of her. It didn't take long until she could no longer feel pain, but felt pleasure instead, and damn, did it feel good! Feeling her relax, Dark Pit increased his pace a little more and Lilina started to moan in rhythm, holding on to her lover.

(Mak: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out! No condom was used! I'm subtracting points for this!
Noka: Did they even earn any?
Mak: Only ones for mild fluff and decent spelling. Ten bucks says this couple will be burdened with a kid!)

"Ooohh...this...feels so...good..." she moaned out.

(Noka: Lose the "out", it's not necessary.
Mak: She won't feel so good during those nine months, especially at the end.)

"Y-Yeah...it...does..." the dark-winged angel spoke between thrusts.

(Mak: FOUR!
Noka: Gee, where's your golf club?
Mak: You know I hate golf, drunko. I hate abuse against ellipses even more.)

They kissed again and held each other close, sweat soaking their heated bodies.

(Mak: Soaked?
Noka: Ew, they'd be dehydrated and the place would smell.)

Dark Pit felt his manhood getting squeezed a little by Lilina's wall as he let out a loud groan.

"L-Lilina...I...I can't hold anymore..." he moaned out.

Lilina said, "Then...let it...out...I'm...feeling tight..."

(Noka: And then they blew up.)

Then Dark Pit let out a loud cry as he came inside her and so did Lilina

(Noka: The awkward implication Lilina was screwing herself.
Mak: Hermies have more fun in sex, not so much in every other aspect of life.)

as she felt his hot juices inside her. Dark Pit pulled his manhood out slowly and then laid beside her, panting while holding her back into his arms again. Lilina cuddled up to him, covering them with the sheets.

She said, "Wow...that was amazing..."

(Mak: Yes, this thing called reproduction is fantastic. Good luck with the baby!
Noka: I just realized the OC is human. Technically, angels aren't.
Mak: Well, I didn't want to keep my lunch down anyway.)

"You're telling me," Dark Pit spoke back with a light chuckle. "That was just...wow...I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Lilina said with a soft giggle. She closed her eyes, her head on his chest. "I love you, Pittoo."

Dark Pit smiled. "I love you too, Lilina. I'll always love you till the day I die." He kissed her head softly. "I'm glad to have met you."

(Noka: Far as I'm concerned, angels are immortal.
Mak: Speaking of coupling, I seriously doubt Lilina is human. The author's probably going to make her a crossbreed of many things just to make her "special". This will serve as an excuse to keep this pairing alive.)

Lilina smiled. "Same for me...I never felt this way before and man, do I love it." She then let out a yawn. "I'm so tired..."

"Sleep then, love..." the dark-winged angel whispered, holding her close.

(Mak: FIVE. I was expecting it to get higher than this.)

With a nod, the girl closed her eyes with a happy sigh and then Dark Pit did the same as the two went to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Pit knocked on the door, calling out, "Lilina, is Pittoo in there?" He opened it slowly. "Hello? Are you in-!"

His face turned completely red when he saw what was in the room and gasped loudly before quickly shutting the door.

(Noka: The door was locked, you said earlier.
Mak: Continuity errors for the win!
Noka: He saw them asleep together with the sheets pulled over them. It's not like he was standing there, watching the whole thing. Was he?
Mak: Two plotholes for the price of one fic, I want my braincells back!)

Phosphora came to him and asked, tilting her head, "What's wrong, Pit? Why is your face all red?"

"You don't wanna to look in there, Phosphora! Trust me on that!" the white-winged angel squeaked out.

(Mak: Not sure if I should count that.
Noka: It's useless, we're at the end.
Mak: Hooray!)

Description
(Hello readers. Today, we're looking at a Kid Icarus fanfic guilty of OCxCanon with little justification and smut. Eris couldn't be here today, so I brought Mak instead. Before we begin, let's read the summary and author's notes.)

Sequel to "My Dark-Winged Angel". 3 months have passed since Dark Pit and Lilina started going out and when Dark Pit returns from a mission, he asks Lilina if she wants to go further into their relationship. Is she ready to go further or not? CONTAINS LEMON! Dark PitxOc

I DO NOT OWN KID ICARUS! I ONLY OWN MY OCS!

This is a sequel to "My Dark-Winged Angel"! Enjoy ^^ As for the age thing, I have Pit and Dark Pit 18-years old, in spite how they look.

(Noka: According to Shigeru Miyamoto, Pit and his doppelganger are physically 14-ish. And how old is your OC? Let's find out!
Mak: Rather not.)

It's been over a few months since Dark Pit and Lilina started going out and they were happy with being together. Lilina was waiting for Dark Pit to return from his mission with Pit down below Skyworld as she was standing on her balcony outside, enjoying the beautiful weather.

(Noka: Show, don't tell. What do they talk about? Show us why they love each other!
Mak: I read the prequel, there's not much being said about the relationship other than the "I've admired you from afar" tripe.)

She looked down at her hands for a bit before she heard some footsteps approach her and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her.

"What's a girl like you out here?" a familiar voice asked in her ear quietly.

(Noka: I think she accidentally a word.)

Lilina smiled and turned to face Dark Pit, still in his arms. "Waiting for a guy she loves to come back and enjoying the nice weather."

Chuckling, Dark Pit said, "Well, your guy is back."

"How did the mission go with Pit?" Lilina asked.

(Mak: All this fluff obscures their shallow love interest. Makes me want to puke.
Noka: Not yet, please! We haven't even gotten to the good part!)

Shrugging a little, Dark Pit replied, "It was a bit tough once we found our target, but other than that, it was alright. Did you miss me?"

The young girl laughed. "Of course I missed you. I always miss you when you're not here," she said.

(Mak: CLINGER ALERT! Hah, kidding.
Noka: I'm more worried about the butchering of Dark Pit's character. He's pretty anti-social, canonically speaking.
Mak: Great, he's been wimpified here.)

The dark-winged angel smirked. "Same for me. When I'm on a mission, I always think of you. WHen I think of you, I long to come back and be with you, Lilina."

(Mak: Bet he couldn't concentrate when that's all he thought about. Love turns people into dopes!
Noka: ~Always I want to be with you~
Mak: Don't start! You know how much that song ruined my life!)

Then he leaned in and kissed Lilina softly as she kissed him back with her arms around his neck. The kiss lasted for a few seconds before they pulled away. Lilina put her head on Dark Pit's shoulder, her arms now around his torso, closing her eyes. They stood there as they held each other. They love being together and it felt so right for them.

(Noka: This is written like a soap from the 90s.
Mak: It's more of a sign their hearts are having orgies. Yowza!)

"Hey, Lilina...we talk about something?" Dark Pit asked.

(Noka: Again, you accidentally a word.
Mak: Oh no, are they going to break up? Real sad.)

Pulling away a little to look at him, Lilina asked, "What is it? Did something happen?"

(Noka: "Honey, I'm a loner. You just gotta give me space!")

Shaking his head, Dark Pit replied, "No, nothing happened. It's...something to do with our relationship."

Lilina said, nodding, "Ok...What about it?"

"We've been together for a few months now, right?" the dark-winged angel said.

(Noka: They've been together, yet the important stuff is omitted.
Mak: Lazy writing, really needs to try harder.)

"Yeah, and?" the girl asked.

Dark Pit said, "Well..." He looked right into her eyes. "I was thinking...I'm ready to take it to the next step...whenever you are too."

(Mak: I'm guessing that involves a little ess en em. If that's the case, I'm out.
Noka: JUST WAIT. IT GETS BETTER.
Mak: Fine, only to satisfy my cruel curiosity. How it trolls me so.)

Lilina widened her eyes a little before blushing, realizing what he meant. "A-Are you sure?"

"Well, yeah, that is if you're ready too," the dark-winged angel said with a nod.

(Noka: No need to remind us which one you're about to screw.
Mak: I counted. Three times she refers to his wings. Now I want buffalo wings and hot sauce.
Noka: Keep counting.)

Looking down, the 18-year-old girl thought about it and deep down, Dark Pit thought that this wasn't such a good time to ask her this, but he had to! He even got Palutena's approval about them taking their relationship a bit more deep as long as they don't do anything they'll regret doing. However, he saw Lilina look up at him and nodded.

(Noka: Sex doesn't necessarily make a relationship deeper.
Mak: Only more interesting, and dangerous. Not to mention "do anything they'll regret doing" is redundant.)

She said, "Alright. I'm ready too. But promise me one thing?"

Dark Pit asked, "What is it, Lilina?"

(Noka: "Don't tell anyone of our real age difference.")

Lilina then asked, "Can you promise to be gentle? This is my first time after all."

With a smile, Dark Pit said, "Yeah, you can count on that. I can never imagine myself hurting you."

(Mak: Ten bucks says his canon persona would've gone Chris Brown on this chick.
Noka: In the game, he does attack a female.
Mak: Ten bucks it is! Hand over the dough.)

"Thank you...Pittoo..." Lilina softly spoke, smiling.

(Noka: Especially after calling him that.
Mak: Agreed, awful nickname.
Noka: He made it clear in Uprising he hates his nicknames.)

Then they kissed softly, holding each other close. Lilina led him inside the room, closing her balcony door and closing the curtains after pulling away. She walked over to lock the door so no one can interrupt and when she turned, Dark Pit's lips were on hers again, earning a little loud moan from her as she kissed him back.

(Noka: That last sentence is way too long.
Mak: I hate run-on sentences, they sound like my aunt Gertrude when she nags people.)

He then turned her around, his lips still on hers, led her to the bed, and laid her down, his knees supporting him from crushing her. Then Dark Pit slowly put his tongue in her mouth and Lilina allowed it as she felt his tongue explore her mouth, feeling her body tingle. She put her hands behind his neck as their tongues were touching, some drool coming down the corner of her mouth.

(Mak: Is this what they call "Ikea Erotica"? So far, no boner.
Noka: Don't worry, you won't get one.)

Dark Pit then reached a hand down and rubbed one of her breasts, though they were both still fully clothed, but he didn't care at the moment. Lilina moaned at this and then felt his hand go under her shirt to stroke her chest, circling around her breasts playfully. Lilina moaned softly again and then Dark Pit moved from her lips to her neck as he started to plant soft kisses there, earning a soft gasp from the girl.

She moved her head back a little to give him more access, which he happily accepted as he planted kisses around her neck. After a while, he removed her shirt and tossed it on the floor next to the bed, revealing her white bra. Lilina then watched Dark Pit remove his clothing, only leaving his boxers on before she took her clothes off, leaving her with her bra and panties on.

(Mak: Sure getting hot in there, about freezing temperature.
Noka: Why does the guy have to remove her clothes?
Mak: Because it's called being a gentleman?)

Lilina looked away and quietly said, "This is embarrassing..."

(Mak: If you think this is embarassing, wait till your parents find out you've been writing this stuff!)

Moving her head to have her look at him, Dark Pit softly said, "Don't hide yourself...I love all of you, no matter what, Lilina..."

(Mak: So that means even if she gets herpes, which is pretty cute to say the least.
Noka: Now YOU'RE out of character. What happened to being crass?
Mak: Sugar dissolved it, ho-hum.)

Nodding, the girl said, "I trust you, Pittoo."

(Mak: Not after he would've and should've slapped you twice.)

Then they kissed again and this time it was deep and passionate. They explored each other's mouths again, but with more passion this time.

(Noka: DING! One order of redundancy brought to us by you.
Mak: This kind of repetition doesn't convince me it's passionate or clever writing. Author, you're *this* close to bordering the fauxlosophic.
Noka: Smut wasn't meant to be "clever" anyway.)

Then Dark Pit bent down to plant kisses on her chest as Lilina moaned with a smile on her face. She was loving this moment as her hands were stroking his back, feeling his wings a little as they were flapping a little.

(Noka: Wingboner!
Mak: You sicko.
Noka: It's a joke revolving around ponies, calm down.
Mak: That makes it even worse.)

Then her bra was taken off and then Dark Pit started to suck on one of her nipples while his other hand was playing with the other, having Lilina moan like crazy as she held on to the sheets to keep her from going crazy. Then her other breast got the same treatment before his lips went down to past her bellybutton, and felt him stop.

(Mak: Freezing temperature.)

Looking up at her, Dark Pit asked, "You ready for the next part?"

Lilina said, "Yeah...I am..."

(Noka: Those poor ellipses!
Mak: Take a shot, dude.
Noka: We're not playing the drinking game.
Mak: So I've bloated my bladder alone for no reason. That stinks.)

After that, Dark Pit removed her panties and then rubbed her womanhood slowly, which caused Lilina to gasp with pleasure.

(Mak: Ya know, if you're going to attempt writing explicit smut, you shouldn't censor body part names just because it makes you feel uneasy. Chances are this girl is too young to write this kind of content. In simpler words, WHAT THE HELL?
Noka: If there is censorship in smut, it oughta cover up bad sex scenes.)

He rubbed it more slowly and then stroked it gently as if to tease her.

(Mak: DOI, that's what foreplay is! Water is wet! Everything is shaped like itself!)

After a few moments, she felt him put a finger inside her and let out a cry. Dark Pit moved his finger in and out of her slowly while leaning up to kiss her gently, getting kissed back in return. With his other hand he rubbed one of her breasts again as they frenched again.

(Noka: There's that word from My Immortal.
Mak: They sliced each other into strips? Hey, that's what that word means.
Noka: But we're not talking about french fries.
Mak: I wish we had some.)

After a while, he pulled his finger out and then backed down a little. He then took off his boxers, revealing his manhood and LIlina blushed wildly at this.

(Mak: It must be a twelve-incher.)

"You ready?" Dark Pit asked.

"Yeah."

"I'll be slow and gentle."

"Alright."

(Noka: Angels don't have genitals.
Mak: It's just for convenience, who's stopping the author from letting her OC screw genderless people?)

Dark Pit then slowly inserted his manhood inside her and Lilina felt a sharp pain go through her body as she let out a loud grunt.

(Mak: If you wake the neighbors, you'd have hard luck convincing them you just mishandled a pig.)

Dark Pit softly kissed her cheeks and lips as he whispered soft, comforting words into her ear while slowly moving in and out of her. It didn't take long until she could no longer feel pain, but felt pleasure instead, and damn, did it feel good! Feeling her relax, Dark Pit increased his pace a little more and Lilina started to moan in rhythm, holding on to her lover.

(Mak: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out! No condom was used! I'm subtracting points for this!
Noka: Did they even earn any?
Mak: Only ones for mild fluff and decent spelling. Ten bucks says this couple will be burdened with a kid!)

"Ooohh...this...feels so...good..." she moaned out.

(Noka: Lose the "out", it's not necessary.
Mak: She won't feel so good during those nine months, especially at the end.)

"Y-Yeah...it...does..." the dark-winged angel spoke between thrusts.

(Mak: FOUR!
Noka: Gee, where's your golf club?
Mak: You know I hate golf, drunko. I hate abuse against ellipses even more.)

They kissed again and held each other close, sweat soaking their heated bodies.

(Mak: Soaked?
Noka: Ew, they'd be dehydrated and the place would smell.)

Dark Pit felt his manhood getting squeezed a little by Lilina's wall as he let out a loud groan.

"L-Lilina...I...I can't hold anymore..." he moaned out.

Lilina said, "Then...let it...out...I'm...feeling tight..."

(Noka: And then they blew up.)

Then Dark Pit let out a loud cry as he came inside her and so did Lilina

(Noka: The awkward implication Lilina was screwing herself.
Mak: Hermies have more fun in sex, not so much in every other aspect of life.)

as she felt his hot juices inside her. Dark Pit pulled his manhood out slowly and then laid beside her, panting while holding her back into his arms again. Lilina cuddled up to him, covering them with the sheets.

She said, "Wow...that was amazing..."

(Mak: Yes, this thing called reproduction is fantastic. Good luck with the baby!
Noka: I just realized the OC is human. Technically, angels aren't.
Mak: Well, I didn't want to keep my lunch down anyway.)

"You're telling me," Dark Pit spoke back with a light chuckle. "That was just...wow...I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Lilina said with a soft giggle. She closed her eyes, her head on his chest. "I love you, Pittoo."

Dark Pit smiled. "I love you too, Lilina. I'll always love you till the day I die." He kissed her head softly. "I'm glad to have met you."

(Noka: Far as I'm concerned, angels are immortal.
Mak: Speaking of coupling, I seriously doubt Lilina is human. The author's probably going to make her a crossbreed of many things just to make her "special". This will serve as an excuse to keep this pairing alive.)

Lilina smiled. "Same for me...I never felt this way before and man, do I love it." She then let out a yawn. "I'm so tired..."

"Sleep then, love..." the dark-winged angel whispered, holding her close.

(Mak: FIVE. I was expecting it to get higher than this.)

With a nod, the girl closed her eyes with a happy sigh and then Dark Pit did the same as the two went to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Pit knocked on the door, calling out, "Lilina, is Pittoo in there?" He opened it slowly. "Hello? Are you in-!"

His face turned completely red when he saw what was in the room and gasped loudly before quickly shutting the door.

(Noka: The door was locked, you said earlier.
Mak: Continuity errors for the win!
Noka: He saw them asleep together with the sheets pulled over them. It's not like he was standing there, watching the whole thing. Was he?
Mak: Two plotholes for the price of one fic, I want my braincells back!)

Phosphora came to him and asked, tilting her head, "What's wrong, Pit? Why is your face all red?"

"You don't wanna to look in there, Phosphora! Trust me on that!" the white-winged angel squeaked out.

(Mak: Not sure if I should count that.
Noka: It's useless, we're at the end.
Mak: Hooray!)