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SamBlob — 'High Gear' - Ugly Duckling [NSFW]
Published: 2009-08-22 16:02:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 153; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description "And now, the news.  Aston Martin released its new model, the Cygnet.  Now normally a new Aston Martin is a cause for celebration, but the Cygnet is just a Toyota iQ with an Aston Martin badge and grille on the outside and a tarted up interior on the inside.  It's horrible!"

"Yes, Charles, it is a sad, sad day when Aston Martin has to prostitute its once-proud name in order to continue selling cars in the United States.  Nonetheless, we do have one on our track.  Usually our housebroken racing driver would be driving it around the track, but right now the Minister of Transport is behind the wheel."

"Hang on, Gerald!  Isn't that just a dummy with a picture of the Minister of Transport's face pasted to the front of its head?"

"Well, technically that's true, Henry, but isn't that a reasonable description of him?"

"You do have a point. Carry on!"

"Besides, it would have been too expensive to hire the real Minister of Transport to be behind the wheel..."

A solid concrete block of approximately the size and shape of a transport container falls on the Cygnet, flattening it.

"...and it would probably be illegal to do *that* to the real Minister of Transport anyway."

"Yes, it would.  It is, however, a fitting end to the most embarrassing car the British motor industry has produced since the Austin Allegro.  Moving on..."
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Comments: 4

Mister-Lou [2010-03-23 00:49:30 +0000 UTC]

reminds me of Top Gear,did it inspire you as well?

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SamBlob In reply to Mister-Lou [2010-03-28 22:18:15 +0000 UTC]

Yep.

It's illegal to write fan fiction about Top Gear because three of its four presenters are real people and, as such, we cannot write that they have said or done things that the real people have not said or done. That would be libel.

However, if one creates a parody of Top Gear, with characters that are "unrelated to living people" ( ) then one may carry on unmolested by the long arm of the law.

Therefore, I have created High Gear, a fictional automotive TV show featuring Gerald Hillson, a tall, fat, loud, temperamental bloke, Charles June, a moderately-paced eccentric history buff and neatness freak who insists on doing things properly, and Henry Leaming, an anthro lemming who likes small, fast, shouty cars.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Mister-Lou In reply to SamBlob [2010-03-29 02:50:18 +0000 UTC]

lol i would love to see that.do they have their own race car driver?

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SamBlob In reply to Mister-Lou [2010-03-29 15:10:17 +0000 UTC]

Yep, their housebroken racing driver is known only as The Midnight Rider.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0