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ScriptWeaver — Gingerbread: Prologue
Published: 2012-05-03 05:47:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 283; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 1
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Description I swear it blinks just to mock me. It's caught somewhere between laughter and a sneer.
"Look at me!" it says. "This is where you are; nowhere!" It mocks me, it mocks me! Look at it. Disappearing, reappearing, every time reminding me that the page around it is blank. Nothing fits. That cursed bar only wants to move backwards, and gobble up any progress in it's wake. But it is of no consequence. It must be written. It has to. It's not fair to play the game but then not share with others. Yes, yes! Others must know, whether there be a lapse in creativity or not.

Furthermore what is a chase with no spectators? It is not enough to know the game and to know the players if it is just a game. Once all is known and all is shown there is no greater test of men than in the chase. The Fox knows this best of all, for him there is no objective but to run. If they were to catch The Fox then he would be the lesser of the bunch. For the Hounds it is much simpler, there is one goal now but another later. Who is to know which challenge will be the greatest? They are the pieces in chess. When wielded by a master, some worthy Huntsman, the Fox's ploys are broken and the game is over.  

He is the ultimate challenge. Never truly is it the Fox against the Hounds but he is pitted against the Huntsman's wits. Every action another turn, baited traps, or forcing movements. It thrills me. Like some giant game of poker any flinch can mean the end. You're forced to read a man and read him to his core, while yourself remain a shadow, an impeccable screen of lies and mist. Reach an arm too far forward and find it stumped and bleeding. Shelter too far back and your rival becomes a blur. It is a dance of blades in which the first strike always kills.

Every plan is intricate and propels past fifty turns, yet it rarely survives the first. This is the game I play. I am Timothy the Fox, Timothy the runner. This is my game, and I've been playing like a king.

**H**

Miles Lesage was trying to unwind. He had spent far too long sifting through report upon report at his office. Trivialities and misreadings muddled the mind. It was high time to stop thinking in-the-box and approach from a different angle. For now though, he was just whiping the slate clean. Nothing calmed the nerves like an espresso, and today was no exception. He was at his usual hang out, the local bookstore's Starbucks. The silence of the room was only interrupted by the occasional cough or turn of a page; his favorite aspect of a coffee shop in a book store. Book shelves and magazine stands waited calm and collected, offering knowledge. The overcast sky blurred the corners on shadows, as if to soften the environment further. Seated in one of the padded reading chairs Miles had fallen asleep once, he ended up paying for the book he consequently drooled on. But today he was in no mood for naps.

He retrieved a calling card from his shirt pocket and studied the blank side. He flipped it. Miles' fingers ran down an edge that had dulled from constant handling, but the faces of the card still felt like the expensive stock they were made of. Only his own fingerprints stained the surface. He carried it with him everywhere; it was his curse. Nothing weighed down his pockets more than this single slip. Five words and a letter.

"Catch me Huntsman, catch me. -F"

  Cocky bastard. He went back to sipping his coffee.
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Comments: 26

XxSilentseerxX [2012-05-11 03:39:01 +0000 UTC]

You did good and have defiantly improved your writing style :3 The only issue that it seems to has is that it confuses some people, but it seems to work in your favor here so yay!!! Awesome job mein Freund

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ScriptWeaver In reply to XxSilentseerxX [2012-05-11 03:40:27 +0000 UTC]

Danke.

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XxSilentseerxX In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-11 03:41:35 +0000 UTC]

Welcome :3

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ScriptWeaver In reply to XxSilentseerxX [2012-05-11 03:44:28 +0000 UTC]

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XxSilentseerxX In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-11 03:45:32 +0000 UTC]

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Cloudghost [2012-05-11 03:21:19 +0000 UTC]

Oooh! It's just as good as you described!
It was a tad confusing but I absolutely LOVE it when stories begin somewhat puzzling-like so, great job! And I love the voice of your "Fox" (that is him at the start, right?)

Can't wait for the next bit.

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ScriptWeaver In reply to Cloudghost [2012-05-11 03:23:45 +0000 UTC]

Yep! It's him at the start. :3

XD I still have to start the next bit.

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Cloudghost In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-11 04:08:17 +0000 UTC]

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Dream-Nova [2012-05-11 01:46:47 +0000 UTC]

You can't improve what's already there, and I have to say this shows. It was a bit confusing, but it all flowed together in a word harmony. I agree, this piece is amazing! I'm excited to see how the story plays out! It seems to be very exciting!

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ScriptWeaver In reply to Dream-Nova [2012-05-11 01:51:08 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now I just have to write the rest this well.

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Dream-Nova In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-11 01:55:29 +0000 UTC]

I'm sure it'll turn out great!

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ScriptWeaver In reply to Dream-Nova [2012-05-11 01:57:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

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W-Lupus [2012-05-04 22:29:37 +0000 UTC]

Is it bad that I immediately understood what you were talking about as soon as I read the first two sentences? XD

You know, I think you've made a breakthrough with your prose here. This reads better than anything you've written to date, and it's strong writing too. Furthermore, it has themes and lots of figurative language that I can dip into as a reader. This is a very creative way of approaching frustration about being unable to write, and the fox, hound and huntsman metaphor fits well and was pleasantly unexpected at the same time. The work you've put in really does show, and I think you're well on the way to finding your "voice" in terms of how you write. Experiment with your style more, and don't be afraid to try new things either.

However, I feel this reads as more as a creative experiment, a standalone, rather than a prologue to something. But, do try to prove me wrong. The thing is, you have a good idea here, but how to expand upon it and keep it going? When I come across such a feeling in my writing with an idea, I always think of the idea as either being stretched too thin, or like one bit of butter being spread across too much bread.

Still, your feelings about this piece are warranted. Well done.

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ScriptWeaver In reply to W-Lupus [2012-05-04 22:43:48 +0000 UTC]

XD No, no I'm glad I managed to give you a mental image instead of forcing one. :3 Thanks.

I agree I'm finding out more about myself as I write. I've come SO far in the year that I've been here and this is the first time in a long time that I've been content with my work. The metaphor is a recurring theme in the book, I'm a little worried about keeping it fresh but I do hope I can manage. This is very much my first GOOD piece and I'm nervous about following it up. I'll do my best to continue to please.

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W-Lupus In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-06 20:52:38 +0000 UTC]

That's the trick; not to force ideas but make them come to the reader.

You now know I wasn't lying when I said I improved so much over the space of one year too. Now really, the challenge once you find your voice is to come up with the ideas. I like to explain writing as a thing of two halves. One is literally the writing; your execution, and the other is the ideas you come up with. When it comes to idea, it's best not to worry. Having a calm state of mind lets you fit all your ideas into place. You're feel like you're on a role. XD

You're welcome.

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ScriptWeaver In reply to W-Lupus [2012-05-06 23:37:11 +0000 UTC]

Practice really makes perfect huh? XD Thanks. :3

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W-Lupus In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-09 11:01:26 +0000 UTC]

Pretty much. You're welcome. XD

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ScriptWeaver In reply to W-Lupus [2012-05-09 22:22:44 +0000 UTC]

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rioza [2012-05-03 23:51:47 +0000 UTC]

I really love this! x3 But you already know that. So I'll try to give the best feedback I can, but again, I've already told you what I thought if most of it so... yeah. XD

I for one, I think this is really good! It sounds so mature to me, and I feel like I'm reading something by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, if you know what I mean. I think it's very mysterious and, yes, a bit confusing to start, but that makes me want to read even more. Like trying to solve a puzzle. ^_^

But the one thing I DO wish was that there was more of it. :c I felt there should be more story after the last line. Like it was incomplete. There is more story to come, right? ;-; I hope so. I loved reading this!

Oh, and the only typo I could find was that "wither" near the end of the first paragraph should be "whether", hun. Just to let you know.~

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ScriptWeaver In reply to rioza [2012-05-04 00:08:39 +0000 UTC]

XD Oops! Should have caught that thanks dear. I'll go fix it. And yes there's much more story to come.

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rioza In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-04 23:17:25 +0000 UTC]

Yay!!!~~

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ScriptWeaver In reply to rioza [2012-05-04 23:19:23 +0000 UTC]

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Doodelay [2012-05-03 23:09:47 +0000 UTC]

Hm...
A nice fun piece this one was but it was a little confusing.
The beginning was more specifically because of how it started. It kind of just took off, we didn't know what he was looking at, we didn't know what he was even talking about and we never found out until the end.

I'd suggest switched the last paragraph and the first paragraph because you seem to have told the beginning at the end and end at the beginning lol

Of course i don't mean the entirety of each paragraph, I'm speaking solely on the information given.

With that said, it was a fun piece, and couldve been more entertaining had we been given a little more insight into the fox's life as well.

I'm not sure, I did like it. i was just a little lost for a large portion of the story.

Try to remember that we don't know what you know. Its your job to tell us before you begin. Even if its just tidbits.

Hope this helps a little :]

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ScriptWeaver In reply to Doodelay [2012-05-04 00:07:55 +0000 UTC]

It is a little helpful and the purpose of this piece was largely to mystify but not necessarily confuse. I hope it was clear that these were two different people?

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Doodelay In reply to ScriptWeaver [2012-05-04 00:26:20 +0000 UTC]

no I didn't know that at all

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ScriptWeaver In reply to Doodelay [2012-05-04 00:40:49 +0000 UTC]

XD Maybe a reread is in order? XD Sorry. My bad. I'll have to make that more clear.

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