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Description
This is actually intended to be an over all uplifting image, don't let the content warning scare you! However it is a rather graphic depiction of, for me, what it feels like to be trans, and to begin transition and accept who I am.

It is a rather violent process, not because of the transition itself ( which is actually a very safe process, if done through legal channels ) but because of the anxiety and fear that surrounds one's life beforehand, and often because of the responses of other people to the person transitioning ( if my nonbinary ass hears "but you're such a pretty girl!" one more time imma lose it- I am a pretty person let me live ).

Some of you who've been following me for a while may notice that this is, essentially, a re-make of a vent piece I did a few years ago:

And since then it's taken on something of a different meaning for me- then it was about not giving a fuck what the world thought of me, and to an extent it's still about that, but this time the piece is a lot more self-focused. It's about me accepting who I am and being happy with it.

This was also actually a piece I did for school ( I squeezed and made it fit haha ) for an editorial type set- my purpose was educating people on trans issues and nonbinary inclusion ( covered more in the second piece, "What About Me? " ) , and I didn't want to use the very generic looking-in-a-mirror-with-the-correct-gender-looking-back thing that's been done 8,000 times by literally every artist to glace at trans issues ever. I wanted to do something genuine and visceral, to emotionally drive my point home- and considering a couple of classmates teared up, I think I did my job well.

I want to give this a proper background ( I've tried messing around with a few options- not liking anything so far ) and make a SFW version so that I can sell these as prints- I want to use the proceeds to donate to organizations that help trans people ( not just youths- I'm adamant about not just helping youths since I am no longer considered one, and I've seen how the community treats people once they're no longer a youth and am disgusted by it ), but I'll need to do a little more research before I can get any of that rolling.

A part of me wants to make a femme companion piece to this, but frankly I've really emotionally burnt myself out on this ( not in a bad way, exactly- just an exhausting one ), so if I decide to do that it'll be somewhere down the road.
This was also my first attempt at a lineless digital painting in- gosh years and I'm not exactly confident in replicating the technique well.

Description
This is actually intended to be an over all uplifting image, don't let the content warning scare you! However it is a rather graphic depiction of, for me, what it feels like to be trans, and to begin transition and accept who I am.

It is a rather violent process, not because of the transition itself ( which is actually a very safe process, if done through legal channels ) but because of the anxiety and fear that surrounds one's life beforehand, and often because of the responses of other people to the person transitioning ( if my nonbinary ass hears "but you're such a pretty girl!" one more time imma lose it- I am a pretty person let me live ).

Some of you who've been following me for a while may notice that this is, essentially, a re-make of a vent piece I did a few years ago:

And since then it's taken on something of a different meaning for me- then it was about not giving a fuck what the world thought of me, and to an extent it's still about that, but this time the piece is a lot more self-focused. It's about me accepting who I am and being happy with it.

This was also actually a piece I did for school ( I squeezed and made it fit haha ) for an editorial type set- my purpose was educating people on trans issues and nonbinary inclusion ( covered more in the second piece, "What About Me? " ) , and I didn't want to use the very generic looking-in-a-mirror-with-the-correct-gender-looking-back thing that's been done 8,000 times by literally every artist to glace at trans issues ever. I wanted to do something genuine and visceral, to emotionally drive my point home- and considering a couple of classmates teared up, I think I did my job well.

I want to give this a proper background ( I've tried messing around with a few options- not liking anything so far ) and make a SFW version so that I can sell these as prints- I want to use the proceeds to donate to organizations that help trans people ( not just youths- I'm adamant about not just helping youths since I am no longer considered one, and I've seen how the community treats people once they're no longer a youth and am disgusted by it ), but I'll need to do a little more research before I can get any of that rolling.

A part of me wants to make a femme companion piece to this, but frankly I've really emotionally burnt myself out on this ( not in a bad way, exactly- just an exhausting one ), so if I decide to do that it'll be somewhere down the road.
This was also my first attempt at a lineless digital painting in- gosh years and I'm not exactly confident in replicating the technique well.