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suzi9mm — game
Published: 2004-09-05 07:40:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 30216; Favourites: 232; Downloads: 7828
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Description we played the game
like a dance
across the dancefloor

it was sweet
i bit my lip
for you
to taste the bitterness in my mouth
that is how serious
of a play it was

round and round
it was a good tango
and
finished with the most violent of moves

a tear would run down
my surprised face
i was only defeated
when you made me come
Related content

[ TEXT ]


suzi9mm - death

suzi9mm - royal games

suzi9mm - consummate

suzi9mm - your favorite color

suzi9mm - god said no

suzi9mm - just say yes

suzi9mm - those fleeting moments [DD]

suzi9mm - sin is my middle name

suzi9mm - i cry after giving head

suzi9mm - saturday night fever
Comments: 215

JamesBardolph [2004-09-08 00:37:36 +0000 UTC]

Wow. If you ever write more then send it to me. I learned a lot about you from reading this. Not just what you wrote, but mostly in the way you wrote it.

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AugmentedArt [2004-09-07 18:10:16 +0000 UTC]

I don't know what "Critique Discouraged" means but I think you did a rather fine job. The poem does match the image and vice versa. I like your work Jen

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Infinite-Starlight [2004-09-07 02:02:53 +0000 UTC]

perfect

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blondebeauty614 [2004-09-07 00:04:05 +0000 UTC]

wow, powerful, i love it

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attack-kitten [2004-09-06 20:15:47 +0000 UTC]

Wow, that owns. I just love how it's kind of hinting until the last line where you don't hide anything.

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britt-bratt [2004-09-06 19:57:48 +0000 UTC]

I had to read it twice Although you're being a lil hard on yourself, I think it's quite visual Nice stuff!

I know how you feel about submitting the poetry, I want to submit some of mine but have never really shown anyone. I probably would discourage critique also. Oh and Josh Groban is a lovely source of inspiration... such a beautiful tenor...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TormentednLost [2004-09-06 19:46:44 +0000 UTC]

i like the way it flows! just LIKE a dance, starting at the beginning, and flowing, gently till the end, the last stanza is the BEST!! very good!!

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Morween In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 17:26:10 +0000 UTC]

....wow!!!!
it's so good!!! I love all that black with the figures in light! very well done!!!

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blanked In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 15:36:55 +0000 UTC]

I agree with everyone who's said it brings to mind wonderful visuals. I do like it quite a bit, I must say.

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redpixl In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 15:23:54 +0000 UTC]

wow! let's do the tango!

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adixion In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 15:21:17 +0000 UTC]

Camera got them images
Camera got them all
Nothing's shocking...
Showed me everybody
Naked and disfigured
Nothing's shocking...
And then he came
Now sister's
Not a virgin anymore
Her sex is violent...

The T.V.'s got them images
T.V.'s got them all
It's not shocking!
Every half an hour
Someone's captured and
The cop moves them along...
It's just like the show before
The news is
Just another show
With sex and violence...

Sex is violent...
Sex is violent...
Sex is violent...
Sex is violent...
Sex is violent...
Sex is violent...
Sex is violent!

I am the killer of people
You look like a meatball
I'll throw away your toothpick
And ask for your giveness

Because of this thing!
Because of this thing!
Because of this thing!

That's in me
Is it not in you?
Is it not your problem?
A baby to a mother...

You talk too much
To your scapegoat
That's what I say
He tells you everyone is stupid
That's what he thinks!

Snapshots
Make a girl look cheap
Like a tongue extended
A baby's to a mother

Sex is violent!
Sex is violent!
Sex is violent!
Sex is violent!


X

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

tankahk In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 10:54:24 +0000 UTC]

The poem and photograph evoke complimentary emotions in me .....

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Angelic-Azrael [2004-09-06 08:51:54 +0000 UTC]

ohh i like!

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shadowed-angel [2004-09-06 08:24:50 +0000 UTC]

wow, i love it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ayanami00 In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 05:48:40 +0000 UTC]

props, lotsa props for that one +fav

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banxter [2004-09-06 04:57:39 +0000 UTC]

What an excellent free-verse poem, and the photo to go along with it is perfect.

Beautiful work... as always Ms. 9mm.

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phix850 [2004-09-06 04:47:46 +0000 UTC]

You should work more with your writing, it is very good. I'd love to read more. With your photography AND your writing, it gives a fuller impression. Love it.

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agonyandecstasy [2004-09-06 03:17:28 +0000 UTC]

The last line was a great catch. Good stuff, you little poet you!

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unknownsoldier [2004-09-06 02:47:00 +0000 UTC]

nice

great ending line

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tattoedscars In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 02:30:03 +0000 UTC]

as a poet/lyricist in a semi-professional way, I must say that that's absolutely astounding.
I commend you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lilnymph [2004-09-06 02:29:55 +0000 UTC]

very yummy

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lesseroflindsey [2004-09-06 02:07:06 +0000 UTC]

Shit, and mean it in the best of ways.
shit, as in i'm amazed.
God sure does make some talented people, like you.

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OMGillian [2004-09-06 01:45:22 +0000 UTC]

i like it very very much..

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silkscreens [2004-09-06 01:23:24 +0000 UTC]

except............its............a poem *cough* wow...i suck. i like the poem tho i think i like the picture better.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

silkscreens In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 01:21:22 +0000 UTC]

this is very unlike your other works, but i love it all the same. i love the contrasting lights and darks. great work as always

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randomfairy In reply to ??? [2004-09-06 00:50:05 +0000 UTC]

just.....so cleverly crafted...made me think so much of a dance...yet.......thers a totally different meaning for what the "game" is hehe

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Jenny26RED [2004-09-06 00:49:36 +0000 UTC]

this is absolutely beautiful. iLove it! the way the light hits the two, the way it fits so well with your poem, which, by the way, i love... ack!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

akasha-the-damned [2004-09-06 00:38:01 +0000 UTC]

i like your games....mwahahaaaa... this picture is beautiful.

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manalovesmemore [2004-09-05 23:32:18 +0000 UTC]

I love the poem. its very well written and was an enjoyable read.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

myfairytale [2004-09-05 23:15:03 +0000 UTC]

Love it!

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devilicious [2004-09-05 23:09:14 +0000 UTC]

i love the phrase of finishing with "violent moves"

and do you mean your last word to be cum instead of come?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

suzi9mm In reply to devilicious [2004-09-05 23:13:48 +0000 UTC]



nope.

jen

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devilicious In reply to suzi9mm [2004-09-05 23:14:18 +0000 UTC]

must be my dirty mind

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suzi9mm In reply to devilicious [2004-09-05 23:31:01 +0000 UTC]

well it does have the same meaning in the written form that i use, cum/come are both equivalent for orgasm. so yes, dirty all the way

jen

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devilicious In reply to suzi9mm [2004-09-06 00:01:37 +0000 UTC]

aha

well good -b/c i liked the definition being that for me in the poem

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

cedrada In reply to ??? [2004-09-05 22:20:49 +0000 UTC]

Very haunting. I like the way you have created a rhythm in the piece.
Nice work

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sophiie In reply to ??? [2004-09-05 21:51:09 +0000 UTC]

beautiful, and I love tango, so double the greatness.

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Kawaii-Factory In reply to ??? [2004-09-05 21:08:08 +0000 UTC]

i love this dark composition, and i love you too ^_____^

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Skizem [2004-09-05 20:42:24 +0000 UTC]

I love the flow. Great piece.

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Distastefulpoison In reply to ??? [2004-09-05 20:38:55 +0000 UTC]

beauitiful.

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noctivus [2004-09-05 20:11:21 +0000 UTC]

very sensual...i like it

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Sadomasochistic [2004-09-05 19:55:51 +0000 UTC]

WOW! I really love that. Great poem

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TheTrieckel [2004-09-05 19:54:29 +0000 UTC]

very romantic, i like it, to some level it makes me cry...

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bloodbrothers [2004-09-05 19:43:09 +0000 UTC]

uhh.. nice work, like this! :]

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bloodbrothers [2004-09-05 19:39:11 +0000 UTC]

uhh! great work!

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funny-bunny [2004-09-05 19:30:39 +0000 UTC]

wow!

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Taiia [2004-09-05 18:51:52 +0000 UTC]

My kind congratulations on Your Today's Favourite Deviation in Free Verse . Not only a good poetry, it also has an excellently suitable illustation.

Kind regards.

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aoz [2004-09-05 18:45:03 +0000 UTC]

I like it very much, the poem suits it great...

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SweetPrincess [2004-09-05 18:40:29 +0000 UTC]

nice job honey... and the poetry... without comments.. is wonderful... i have the cd of the andrea...
amazing..
very good ur job!!!

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boxofsharpobjects [2004-09-05 18:34:55 +0000 UTC]

I really like this. it is very beautiful. nice work

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